u/Big-Football-2147

Been trying to understand why I have a thing for french nails. Thought it's because my crush has them and whenever she touches me it jolts me back to the present. But then I realized I've liked nails of all shapes and sizes for a while now. Long talons, intricate designs, charms dangling off them, you name it.

Then I noticed I also like rings and bracelets and visible veins. And in that moment it clicked for me that I'm just into hands. The same way I have a thing for belly buttons and bare midriffs.

Didn't even know somebody could be into that until my best friend told me I had nice hands back when we were 18/19. Full circle moment, I guess.

I have a few very close friends who I'm incredibly grateful to have. We support each other and make every effort to stay in touch as much as possible no matter the circumstances. Geographical distance is pretty much no problem, as we've developed ways to communicate that work effortlessly for each of us. We tell each other everything and I can trust that they want to know all about my day to day life, just like I do about theirs.

Lately though, two of them have been a bit off. I'm in the early stages of getting close with someone who could be a serious relationship. We get along better and better, it's just taking a while because we're both very busy and can't always devote the time to each other that we'd like to. No problem, nobody expects the other to turn their life upside down just for an earlier date. I'm fine with it and to be honest I enjoy the slow burn. It's the way I fall in love with somebody, and it's exciting to have a little ambiguity. I don't use dating apps anymore or chase meaningless flings, it just doesn't work for me, it gives me nothing and I'd rather be happily single than with someone for the sake of being with someone. My friends know this, I have told them many times.

But they've been acting as if they're tired of it. Overly critical, strangely abrasive reactions, no discernible support for me. I feel disrespected by the way they act as if they knew better than me, as if I should stop pursuing this person because it didn't turn into a relationship in a few weeks' time etc. Instead of talking to me openly, they make assumptions and brush me off. I'm hurt by this. It's painful to be treated as less than equal, like a kid you can't communicate honestly with. Talk to me! Voice your concerns in a way that lets me know you're aware of your own lack of information.

Just a few days ago a friend mentioned he had been worried about me spending time with the wrong crowd, but decided to wait and see. His worries dissipated, and I could show him that I don't spend time with these people outside the one time he saw through an Instagram story. I asked him to come directly to me if he had any worries in the future, and that I appreciate him being concerned for me. It was that easy. Problem solved.

Why is it so hard even for incredibly close friends to realize that their perspective might be clouding their judgement? Why does it feel so disrespectful for one's own perspective to not be considered?