u/BirthdayReal1980

Apologies if there are any misunderstandings and grammatical issues with my English.

This is gonna be a long ahh story and there might be confusion due to of grammatical issues and repeated words and I apologise for that. I'm from a different country.

I couldn't really remember and recall the issues I have been facing that is ADHD-related, but I'll try my best to explain.

I'm 18M and I started to think that I might have ADHD when I was 16 because looking at the ADHD memes and feeling related and being told if I have ADHD by online users when playing video games because of how dense I am every time trying to pay attention in the game. Not only these are the reasons why I feel I might have ADHD, it's also because of the problems that I'm facing when I was a kid and then throughout Primary and High-School and even till now after graduation from High-School, I'm still having the same problems when I reach adulthood.

I don't really remember a lot of things when I was a kid, but I was told that I was hyperactive kid that couldn't stop banging my head onto the wall, I don't remember how long I was hyperactive until I feel like it stopped when I reached 13 and on my first day in High-School. I was pretty much feeling hyperactive when I'm in Primary School, but I communicate less and not only that, but I'd also get abysmal grades every on every each grade throughout school, and I'd always getting looked down and turned away by many students because of how I couldn't pay attention in class, being slow and being a weirdo, maybe related to hyperactivity? Couldn't know if it's always but I'd keep sleeping during class and I got slapped by a teacher for it too. I feel like I'm not conscious at all throughout school, I feel like I'm in autopilot at that time. I think this is all I know during Primary School.

When I'm on my first day in High-School, I became quiet person like introverted and started to have maladaptive daydreaming and then few months later on my first year in HS, I fell into depression because of having terrible with grades, hard to learn and understand, being slow just like the same issues I'm having since I was a kid but now a teenager and except the hyperactivity. As years went by on everg other grade, I keep having terrible grades on my exams. I'm having issues to concentrate and then having problems trying to study even though I have tried many times when trying to remember, I still couldn't learn anything. Life in High-School is just lonely and feeling pathetic with myself to be honest. I get looked down and turn away by my classmates and other students because of how weird, slow and useless I am. I did try to make friends but couldn't succeeded because I couldn't communicate a lot and couldn't be useful during group projects. I don't know if being useless on group projects is ADHD related because during group projects, I do nothing and then being slow. I also don't talk much to other classmates because all I do in class throughout HS is daydreaming even hyperfocus on making fantasies in my head and then make doodles on the table when I'm bored as hell.

When I reach 16, that's when get to know about ADHD through social media and then from games. I feel related to some info's about ADHD because people with this it couldn't concentrate, having a hard time starting a task and then completing it, failing exams in school. Months later, I went to a psychiatrist with my uncle and mother to know if I have ADHD. I was told by my psychiatrist that I have a little ADHD, but I needed to do an evaluation and then put a schedule. The psychiatrist also gives some medication I don't even know what it is. I got upset and then in denial suddenly after being told I have some symptoms for ADHD and being scheduled for an evaluation. I refuse to go for the evaluation even though people convince me to go and this is one of my biggest regret because years later in school, I get worse by having abysmal grades, frustration a lot because facing negativity in class by other students, paying attention and then couldn't learn anything just like in Primary School. Sometimes I just fall into depression because of that. I'd constantly having daydreaming that led to overthiking and onto depression until present.

I manage to pass with decent grades on my entrance exam in my final grade of High-School for the first time in my life after getting horrible grades throughout Primary and High school.

I'm right now 18. I am still having is maladaptive daydreaming. I always hyperfocus on my fantasies and then it leads to overthiking into depression sometimes and then it triggers my urges to relieve my addictions by having sexual fantasies maybe because of facing loneliness and frustration. Everytime I daydream, I'd always become forgetful and losing my valuable items just like my life in High-School before graduation and I don't know if I'm like this in Primary School. I feel frustrated and irritated when trying to start a task but guilty for not completing the task and also feeling frustrated for delaying task. I don't know if I could survive college with this problems I'm facing.

I think this all I know about. I'm just curious if I do have ADHD or its just something else.

I highly suspect I have and undiagnosed ADHD but also highly doubt it.

I feel like what am I writting about isn't ADHD-related but a rant about my life.

Apologies if there are any misunderstandings and grammatical issues with my English.

This is gonna be a long ahh story and there might be confusion due to of grammatical issues and repeated words and I apologise for that. I'm from a different country.

I couldn't really remember and recall the issues I have been facing that is ADHD-related, but I'll try my best to explain.

I'm 18M and I started to think that I might have ADHD when I was 16 because looking at the ADHD memes and feeling related and being told if I have ADHD by online users when playing video games because of how dense I am every time trying to pay attention in the game. Not only these are the reasons why I feel I might have ADHD, it's also because of the problems that I'm facing when I was a kid and then throughout Primary and High-School and even till now after graduation from High-School, I'm still having the same problems when I reach adulthood.

I don't really remember a lot of things when I was a kid, but I was told that I was hyperactive kid that couldn't stop banging my head onto the wall, I don't remember how long I was hyperactive until I feel like it stopped when I reached 13 and on my first day in High-School. I was pretty much feeling hyperactive when I'm in Primary School, but I communicate less and not only that, but I'd also get abysmal grades throughout school, and I'd always getting looked down and turned away by many students because of how I couldn't pay attention in class, being slow and being a weirdo, maybe related to hyperactivity? Couldn't know if it's always but I'd keep sleeping during class and I got slapped by a teacher for it too. I feel like I'm not conscious at all throughout school, I feel like I'm in autopilot at that time. I think this is all I know during Primary School.

When I'm on my first day in High-School, I became quiet person like introverted and started to have maladaptive daydreaming and then few months later on my first year in HS, I fell into depression because of having terrible with grades, hard to learn and understand, being slow just like the same issues I'm having since I was a kid but now a teenager and except the hyperactivity. As years went by with having terrible grades, having issues to concentrate and then having problems trying to study even though I have tried many times when trying to remember, I still couldn't learn anything. Life in High-School is just lonely and feeling pathetic with myself to be honest. I get looked down and turn away by my classmates and other students because of how weird, slow and useless I am. I did try to make friends but couldn't succeeded because I couldn't communicate a lot and couldn't be useful during group projects. I don't know being useless on group projects is ADHD related because during group projects, I do nothing and then being slow. I also don't talk much to other classmates because all I do in class throughout HS is daydreaming even hyperfocus on making fantasies in my head and then make doodles on the table when I'm bored as hell.

When I reach 16, that's when get to know about ADHD through social media and then from games. I feel related to some info's about ADHD because people with this it couldn't concentrate, having a hard time starting a task and then completing it, failing exams in school. Months later, I went to a psychiatrist with my uncle and mother to know if I have ADHD. I was told by my psychiatrist that I have a little ADHD, but I needed to do an evaluation and then put a schedule. The psychiatrist also gives some medication I don't even know what it is. I got upset and then in denial suddenly after being told I have some symptoms for ADHD and being scheduled for an evaluation. I refuse to go for the evaluation even though people convince me to go and this is one of my biggest regret because years later in school, I get worse by having abysmal grades, frustration a lot because facing negativity in class by other students, paying attention and then couldn't learn anything just like in Primary School. Sometimes I just fall into depression because of that. I'd constantly having daydreaming that led to overthiking and onto depression until present.

I manage to pass with decent grades on my entrance exam in my final year of High-School after graduation for the first time in my life after getting horrible grades throughout Primary and High school.

I'm right now 18. What I am still having is maladaptive daydreaming. I always hyperfocus on my fantasies and then it leads to overthiking into depression and then it triggers my urges to relieve my addictions maybe because of facing loneliness and frustration. Everytime I daydream, I'd always become forgetful and losing my valuable items just like my life throughout in High-School and I don't know if I'm like this in Primary School. I feel frustrated and irritated when trying to start a task but guilty for not completing the task and also feeling frustrated for delaying task.

I think this all I know about. I'm just curious if I do have ADHD or its just something else.

I highly suspect I have and undiagnosed ADHD but also highly doubt it.

I feel like what am I writting about isn't ADHD-related but a rant about my life.

Apologies if there are any misunderstandings and grammatical issues with my English.

This is gonna be a long ahh story and there might be confusion due to of grammatical issues and repeated words and I apologise for that. I'm from a different country.

I couldn't really remember and recall the issues I have been facing that is ADHD-related, but I'll try my best to explain.

I'm 18M and I started to think that I might have ADHD when I was 16 because looking at the ADHD memes and feeling related and being told if I have ADHD by online users when playing video games because of how dense I am every time trying to pay attention in the game. Not only these are the reasons why I feel I might have ADHD, it's also because of the problems that I'm facing when I was a kid and then throughout Primary and High-School and even till now after graduation from High-School, I'm still having the same problems when I reach adulthood.

I don't really remember a lot of things when I was a kid, but I was told that I was hyperactive kid that couldn't stop banging my head onto the wall, I don't remember how long I was hyperactive until I feel like it stopped when I reached 13 and on my first day in High-School. I was pretty much feeling hyperactive when I'm in Primary School, but I communicate less and not only that, but I'd also get abysmal grades throughout school, and I'd always getting looked down and turned away by many students because of how I couldn't pay attention in class, being slow and being a weirdo, maybe related to hyperactivity? Couldn't know if it's always but I'd keep sleeping during class and I got slapped by a teacher for it too. I feel like I'm not conscious at all throughout school, I feel like I'm in autopilot at that time. I think this is all I know during Primary School.

When I'm on my first day in High-School, I became quiet person like introverted and started to have maladaptive daydreaming and then few months later on my first year in HS, I fell into depression because of having terrible with grades, hard to learn and understand, being slow just like the same issues I'm having since I was a kid but now a teenager and except the hyperactivity. As years went by with having terrible grades, having issues to concentrate and then having problems trying to study even though I have tried many times when trying to remember, I still couldn't learn anything. Life in High-School is just lonely and feeling pathetic with myself to be honest. I get looked down and turn away by my classmates and other students because of how weird, slow and useless I am. I did try to make friends but couldn't succeeded because I couldn't communicate a lot and couldn't be useful during group projects. I don't know being useless on group projects is ADHD related because during group projects, I do nothing and then being slow. I also don't talk much to other classmates because all I do in class throughout HS is daydreaming even hyperfocus on making fantasies in my head and then make doodles on the table when I'm bored as hell.

When I reach 16, that's when get to know about ADHD through social media and then from games. I feel related to some info's about ADHD because people with this it couldn't concentrate, having a hard time starting a task and then completing it, failing exams in school. Months later, I went to a psychiatrist with my uncle and mother to know if I have ADHD. I was told by my psychiatrist that I have a little ADHD, but I needed to do an evaluation and then put a schedule. The psychiatrist also gives some medication I don't even know what it is. I got upset and then in denial suddenly after being told I have some symptoms for ADHD and being scheduled for an evaluation. I refuse to go for the evaluation even though people convince me to go and this is one of my biggest regret because years later in school, I get worse by having abysmal grades, frustration a lot because facing negativity in class by other students, paying attention and then couldn't learn anything just like in Primary School. Sometimes I just fall into depression because of that. I'd constantly having daydreaming that led to overthiking and onto depression until present.

I manage to pass with decent grades on my entrance exam in my final year of High-School after graduation for the first time in my life after getting horrible grades throughout Primary and High school.

I'm right now 18. What I am still having is maladaptive daydreaming. I always hyperfocus on my fantasies and then it leads to overthiking into depression and then it triggers my urges to relieve my addictions maybe because of facing loneliness and frustration. Everytime I daydream, I'd always become forgetful and losing my valuable items just like my life throughout in High-School and I don't know if I'm like this in Primary School. I feel frustrated and irritated when trying to start a task but guilty for not completing the task and also feeling frustrated for delaying task.

I think this all I know about. I'm just curious if I do have ADHD or its just something else.

I highly suspect I have and undiagnosed ADHD but also highly doubt it.

I feel like what am I writting about isn't ADHD-related but a rant about my life.