u/Bitter_Cake6120

I’m a 34M and have been childfree for as long as I can remember. My wife of the same age shares similar sentiments. We have at times considered freezing her eggs and maybe pondering if our desire to have kids will occur in our 40s when we attain more wealth. But we are fine if that doesn’t happen too.

For me, the thought of having children just sounds absolutely exhausting. I work full time in the aerospace industry after finishing my PhD last year. I love my job, but I can’t imagine spending my precious free time for at least 18 years making sure another human doesn’t injure themselves or become a burden to society. I also think about how the significant part of my paycheck that gets deposited into my 401k and emergency fund will likely be rerouted to care for a baby if I had one. My wife and I are actually on track as childfree folks to retire comfortably in ten years (go r/FIRE sub!). I can’t imagine delaying that just to have a kid.

Now why did I make this post? Well, I went to check my Instagram today after a few days off it, and my best bud from high school posted a pic of his newborn baby. He captioned his pic gushing about how happy he is, etc. My honest reaction to his post was feeling immense stress 😂 My brain immediately put myself in his shoes and all I could think was: “Fuck. That.”

I can’t imagine signing 18 years of my free time away. 18 fricken years. No more late night runs to get ice cream at the market (cause I can’t leave the kid alone at home). No more weekend dates to the hiking trails with my wife without bringing the kid along. No more morning drives along the beach on my days off unless the kid is at school that day. No more after work runs around the neighborhood since the kid will be home from school by then. The list goes on and on.

I’m so glad to be child free 🙏

My ex-wBPD split in January of this year after three years of chaos and repeated splits. This time I wanted it to end so I went no contact. She started posting on social media in the ensuing months how she was finally “FREE” and many other posts directed at me in a negative light. As the months went on, I figured it was pretty clear she had moved on.

Last month, I finally started posting on my social media again. I mentioned how I was going to travel to Japan soon, which is where she’s from, and how I was nervous since it would be my first time.

She then sent multiple texts saying how much she missed me, how it hurts to see I’m going to Japan without her, how she always wanted to take me there first, and then she sent a photo of my birthday card to her from December last year (1 month before she split and discarded me), and she said in these texts how she doesn’t understand how we ever became so distant 🙄

I admit I was honestly surprised and didn’t except a hoover, especially after over 4 months of no contact and her frequent posts about being FREE etc.

And after she sent me these hoover texts, nothing. Silence. Nada. I didn’t respond to them, but I am also wondering, WTF? It’s been a month now with no follow-up (of which I’m thankful for).

Keep in mind she cheated on me, regularly used dating apps behind my back, etc. so I would bet my left nut she has a new guy.

So the hoover was just a one-time emotional outburst?