u/Bitter_Strike_1366

Just wanted to get a story off my chest where I dodged a bullet it seems. And it makes me feel a bit better about my situation where I’m single and going through a career transition and have no idea where I’m going next, so maybe it’ll make random other people feel better about theirs as well.

I hooked up with a guy almost a year ago. It was a pretty hot hookup, the sex was pretty damn good. I don’t really remember doing this but I guess I grabbed and pulled on his comforter so hard that I ripped a hole in it. I do remember he was the first person I’ve encountered that asked explicitly over message if he could “hit it raw” before meeting up- it just seemed to be a preference he made clear pretty early. Anyway, we only hooked up once. We tried getting together again over the next few months but it never happened, plans just kept falling through. At one point he wanted to meet up at a road pull off so I could give him a bj. Let’s just say I wasn’t that desperate.

Well we’re friends on socials and a few months ago I saw that he was dating someone. No big deal. The woman had two older kids from a previous relationship it looked like. Well after not seeing him pop up on my social media for a while, I admit, that I stalked him. And I saw that they’re pregnant. I think they’ve been dating for like 6 months or something. So this former tinder hookup who was single and unattached and had a successful career going a year ago, now has a baby on the way and two kids from their partner’s previous relationship with a woman he’s known for a few months. I have no idea what I would do or be feeling in his situation.

I guess I just haven’t seen something like this hit so close to me, so if you’re in a bad place relationship or career or life-wise, this is just a reminder that it could be worse. Or what I would consider worse personally. Anywho, yeah.

Hi,

Just had a final custody hearing be cancelled last minute and I’m extremely disappointed. As I understand it, my ex claimed to the GAL that he was finally getting a place of his own here soon. So the GAL decided to ask for a continuance because she believed him.

We’ve been in court for a year now. Our daughter is three. I filed for custody after incidents involving the father where he threatened to take our daughter and not give her back. I got a lawyer. He does not. When we first went to court, he didn’t have a job, a phone, nor a vehicle, and is staying at his parents place which has been deemed unfit for our daughter to go to. This entire custody case has been him being told by the judge and the GAL to get these bare minimum adult responsibilities and giving him time to do so. Now, yet again, he gets more time. After saying in the last hearing he was going to get an apt in July, and had a job at that hearing for a total of two months. He lost that job/quit shortly after, and just in the past week, got another. Now he likely told the GAL all these plans he had to get a place and she’s giving him even more time to do so.

Why is it like this? Why is the court spending all this time and resources to walk someone through just bare minimum responsibilities and they still think he could manage and be stable enough and be a benefit to their child? Why? Can someone explain this to me?

Hi, looking for advice/suggestions/expectations of what to seek in a final custody hearing with a barely functioning adult coparent.

Backstory:
Former abusive relationship with father (although very little solid evidence to support this, and I understand that it has little to no bearing on current custody case because it’s in the past 🙄), left relationship when I discovered I was pregnant, didn’t seek formal custody arrangement for the first two years of my child’s life because the thought of having to hand over my infant to him made me want to take my own life so I tried to keep the peace and, yes, control what I could of the situation. I never kept our child from him however. In fact he lost visitation time from the first court hearing compared to what he got with me. I did try to set down to form a joint parenting plan with him before going to court, to which he had no adjustments to and initially agreed in person- he later changed his mind saying he deserved 50/50, I’m assuming, after talking to his mom. He is an unstable and barely functioning adult, can’t maintain employment for more than a few months, didn’t have a phone or reliable vehicle until I took him to court and he had a judge looking over his shoulder. Lives with his parents (which to be fair so do I), however, his parents house has been deemed unfit by the assigned guardian ad litem to take our child to for visits- number of people and available beds, severe clutter/mess, no solid flooring in bathroom, etc. Reason for finally going to court was after an incident in a public park where he was so loud, physically intimidating, and erratic that a stranger called the cops on him claiming potential domestic violence situation. Another incident occurred a few weeks later where he threatened to take our child from me while I was at work and never bring them back.

Current:
Which brings us to today. We’ve been in court for almost a year- most of the time being spent on giving him a chance to get his shit together enough to maintain/increase visits. He was gotten more visitation since the first hearing but any increase in time has been left up to the GAL since the last hearing in April, and she has not changed it since. Likely because he’s been unreasonable and bullying my mother (who he communicates with, not me) on more than one occasion over text to get what he wants. Also he has lost/quit the job he had, unsure if he is employed now, and said he would get a place of his own by July which has yet to happen. His current visitation is 2hr unsupervised on a weekend day, 1hr supervised by my mother during the week. There has been numerous weeks he is unable to entertain our child for the 2hrs unsupervised before he brings them back to my parents house and either leaves early or plays with them there.

Now we are scheduled for a final hearing in a few weeks and I am unsure what they could rule as the final custody arrangement. If he has no suitable indoor place to take our child for unsupervised visits or overnights, and if we are no longer willing to host him in our house (which we aren’t), then that leaves only public places he could go to. Which he has shown he is not very capable of entertaining in those places for long plus when it becomes winter, that limits the places further.

What could they possibly rule in this scenario? Has anyone been in this situation and could share their result? Also if you were me, what would you be seeking in a final custody agreement?

I know there’s likely details I missed so please ask questions if there’s something important to consider. Thank you.

Any garage recommendations in the Elkins area? Or places to avoid? Interested for simple maintenance tasks and more complex electrical work.