u/BlueBoy2208

Hey all! Hope you're all doing okay. Thank you so much for having me as a guest here! 😄

I'm writing this because I've been going out with this guy for a couple of months now. I'm a cis gay guy, and he is trans, he is the first trans guy I've been with.

We've had sex two times, and I really enjoyed it (and so did he, it seems, from what he says). I really like him and want to make him feel good.

My question is: should I ask him if there is anything he feels dysphoric about? I don't want him to feel "othered" though, like I'm treating him differently from any other guy. So I also thought of making it more of a general question, like I would with anyone else, "what are you into? Is there anything you don't like?" etc. But also want him to feel as comfortable with me as possible.

Should I make the question trans-specific (e.g. "is there anything you feel dysphoric about") or just keep it general?

He has used certain words to describe his anatomy, and I just went along with those.

Hi all! Hope you're all doing good. I'm posting this to ask for advice as I'm in a bit of a crisis with my family right now. I've been out since I was 17, I'm 27 now. My parents are very wealthy, and they kicked me out/sent me to a different country to "study" to cover it up (I'm from Brazil, they sent me to Canada, and I also went along with it to escape because I was young and wanted a quick fix). After that, things only got worse because they are very controlling and wanted me to pursue the career/interests they wanted and I did (out of guilt). So I ended up going to France and doing a master's at a top school there to compensate for being gay, deep down thinking that maybe then they would love me. Last year, I said enough is enough, and I came back to Brazil to pursue the career I've always wanted here, which is to be a teacher/university prof. Even though that's made me really happy, it's getting increasingly harder to be around my family because I can't talk about ANY of my interests (like music, sports I like, bands, hobbies, etc) or show any signs that I'm gay without them having a meltdown. The rest of my extended family is also super wealthy, catholic, and conservative.

Me and my dad just had a big argument, and I don't know what to do anymore. It's not as simple as cutting them off because I would still have to deal with all the internalized rejection and trauma they've caused me. I also feel really insecure and have low self-esteem because my father has somehow convinced me that I'm not good enough (even though I moved abroad at 16, got into Canada's top uni, and then France's top uni).

This has always been really really bad; when they started noticing some mannerisms and lack of interest in girls when I was a pre-teen, they even injected hormones into my body (in a weird Frankenstein way because my dad is a doctor) and were always talking about my "testosterone levels".

People keep saying that things get better and to give them time, but it's been 10 years since I told them (and many more since they knew), and I feel like as I get older and stand my ground more, things only get worse.