u/BlueEyeMedusa

My ex (32M) and me (33F) broke up a month and a half ago. He initiated. We were together 5 years, moved to the UK together (he's British) and now in May we are finally moved out and separated but having issues around discussions around money.

During our relationship my ex offered me to work with him (we work in the same field), it wasn't full time work so he offered to cover any bills I fell short on for my half of rent, utilities, etc.

In Canada (where I'm from and where we met) I received money from a car accident, we decided that we would use this money for the deposit on our first home eventually. We went to Canada last summer and I put it into a 2 year investment account so it could grow. I can't take money out without paying a fee but the growth is good.

The deal was that w.e he covered for me bills wise would go towards his portion of the deposit, (his idea and he proposed this btw), that was about 18 months ago.

Around that same time in the summer he began asking me about rings. In November he started getting weird but he was also away a lot and then March he broke up with me.

Now he wants to be paid back for the £ he covered.

There were multiple times when I talked about getting another part time job, possibly at a cafe or something and each time he told me not to, or offered me a project instead. I still tried to pay him back where I could, so after a year and a half the amount owed was only about 3k.

When we broke up there were still projects I was attached to. I quit one because I felt I was too stressed to deal with it, but continued with the others because I needed the work and money as he had also cut me off and wanted repayment right away, while I also had to go back to Canada and sort my visa if I wanted to stay (I was on a spousal), so it was also the only work I could do remotely while juggling everything else. I would also add that he didn't have the time to finish the projects himself and did need my help.

He told me he was happy with the work and then after final delivery spent a day telling me everything that was wrong with it and then offered to pay me less money as he needed to spend more time than he thought on it. That's the quick and dirty of it.

I gave in because I'm trying to get a new place to live and I needed the money.

Since I left to handle my visa I have asked for us to organise time in the house separately so we don't have to see each other.

Now I've handled the house, sorting the back and front garden while organising cleaners. He's now refusing to pay for half the cleaning and has expressed wanting to keep the full deposit as I haven't paid him back the 3k.

Personally I don't think I should even pay him back the 3k because it was part of the house deal and that money is locked away. It feels like part of the teamwork of being a couple for five years, essentially he backed out of that deal and changed his mind.

I'm absolutely exhausted by this situation and I don't even know what's right or fair anymore. Obviously there's a lot more details but this is already long enough, happy to answer questions though.

My question is, am I wrong for not paying him back the 3k?

My ex (32M) and me (33F) broke up a month and a half ago. He initiated. We were together 5 years, moved to the UK together (he's British) and now in May we are finally moved out and separated but having issues around discussions around money.

During our relationship my ex offered me to work with him (we work in the same field), it wasn't full time work so he offered to cover any bills I fell short on for my half of rent, utilities, etc.

In Canada (where I'm from and where we met) I received money from a car accident, we decided that we would use this money for the deposit on our first home eventually. We went to Canada last summer and I put it into a 2 year investment account so it could grow. I can't take money out without paying a fee but the growth is good.

The deal was that w.e he covered for me bills wise would go towards his portion of the deposit, (his idea and he proposed this btw), that was about 18 months ago.

Around that same time in the summer he began asking me about rings. In November he started getting weird but he was also away a lot and then March he broke up with me.

Now he wants to be paid back for the £ he covered.

There were multiple times when I talked about getting another part time job, possibly at a cafe or something and each time he told me not to, or offered me a project instead. I still tried to pay him back where I could, so after a year and a half the amount owed was only about 3k.

When we broke up there were still projects I was attached to. I quit one because I felt I was too stressed to deal with it, but continued with the others because I needed the work and money as he had also cut me off and wanted repayment right away, while I also had to go back to Canada and sort my visa if I wanted to stay (I was on a spousal), so it was also the only work I could do remotely while juggling everything else. I would also add that he didn't have the time to finish the projects himself and did need my help.

He told me he was happy with the work and then after final delivery spent a day telling me everything that was wrong with it and then offered to pay me less money as he needed to spend more time than he thought on it. That's the quick and dirty of it.

I gave in because I'm trying to get a new place to live and I needed the money.

Since I left to handle my visa I have asked for us to organise time in the house separately so we don't have to see each other.

Now I've handled the house, sorting the back and front garden while organising cleaners. He's now refusing to pay for half the cleaning and has expressed wanting to keep the full deposit as I haven't paid him back the 3k.

Personally I don't think I should even pay him back the 3k because it was part of the house deal and that money is locked away. It feels like part of the teamwork of being a couple for five years, essentially he backed out of that deal and changed his mind.

I'm absolutely exhausted by this situation and I don't even know what's right or fair anymore. Obviously there's a lot more details but this is already long enough, happy to answer questions though.

My question is, am I wrong for not paying him back the 3k?

I've had a look at the new April 1st 2026 refund policies, but am having an issue trying to refund a ticket for 6 days from now. (Policy is return by 23:59 the day before).

I accidentally bought a ticket for the 11th instead of the 4th (both are mondays), when my ticket was scanned on the train by the handheld device it errored and myself and the attendant realized the date was wrong as it was a week from that day. It was totally fine, I bought a new ticket from him and he told me I could call for at least a partial refund.

Now trying to call trainline for that refund they are refusing it because it has been scanned, even though it was rejected and for a future date and I have proof of a new replacement ticket for the date I traveled.

I haven't found any policies about this so not sure if there is anything I can do, but it seems a bit scammy. Any advice?