u/BlueMountainDace

Family and I are going to CA in October. Wife + 2 kids.

We haven’t done an actual family vacation in a while, so I’m not sure if this is just what things cost these days or if I’m …idk.

Flights are 2500
Hotel + Airbnb is 2300
Car rental is 1000

And then we’ll have food and activities and all that, so maybe that’s another $1500ish.

So let’s say that’s $7500 in total for 7 days going from MA to Monterey, CA.

It feels like a lot, but is that just what travel costs now?

ETA: this is reassuring. I think maybe it’s just that the only time we spend that amount of money at once is like when we bought a house so it feels maybe outsized.

Also, on the car, we did get a bigger car. Our kid are 5 and 1yo and both of us are 6ft tall, so we did prioritize the extra space for a bigger SUV. That might also explain slightly higher plane costs because we tried to make the travel for a bit with waking up and naps.

Yesterday a Dr came in to ask what they could do better to reduce resentment her husband is facing towards her. For doctors who read the sub, this is an example of what behavior can look like from last night:

Wife is a PEM attending and had a swing shift from 5-11. We have two kids - 5 and 10mo old. Yesterday, the 5yo had a class after school. That means we only get home at 6 pm and then baby goes to bed around 7. It’s rushed.

She has two days ago off and was home all day while I worked. Here is what she did:

1. Set up dinner for all three of us in bowls I just had to microwave

2. Set out his night suit and stuff so I could have everything when I got home

3. Made his night bottle

4. Folded two loads of laundry to put them away so I wouldn’t have to do it after bed time

This doesn’t happen every day. Many days are super hectic for her and, generally, I do most of this work at home.

But, when she is able, she contributes fully.

MedSpouses - you deserve this kind of treatment if you aren’t getting it. It’ll look different based on what your spouse does. My wife works 12 days a month. Yours might have a more normal schedule. It’ll differ.

But, at the end of the day it’s just a job and they are still people and family members who have to contribute to the overall picture that works for your family.