r/HENRYfinance

Dealing with guilt after you start treating yourself?

Hi everyone, I don’t post often but here we go.

I’m a 24M making good money in tech, I’ve been working for like 2 years now. I live with my parents, almost zero expenses except what I spend on going out , use the 13 year old car we have (I adore it). So almost all of my monthly income goes into investments and I’ve amassed a good sum.

However, even though my parents are fairly upper middle class and they never tried to make me feel poor I still feel guilt whenever I treat myself and buy something expensive. I am obviously very responsible with money and I don’t have any major expenses coming up.

So yesterday I bought myself two designer clothes on a whim and I do agree it was an impulse buy but I really liked how sophisticated I looked in them. Plus I recently got promoted so I justified that it was a gift to myself? I did go very over budget than what I normally buy I agree but all in all the purchase would not even exceed 20% of my monthly income. But i still do feel weirdly guilty in the sense I could’ve saved that money and not spent it on this.

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u/PsychologicalSnow116 — 7 hours ago
▲ 143 r/HENRYfinance+1 crossposts

Are we actually opening trump accounts?

I would love another investing vehicle for my child (we max 529 contributions & have a small UTMA). They are not eligible for the free $1k but potential the free $250. At the end of the day, It seems like this is a great opportunity to roll a large amount of money into a ROTH with minimal taxes.
So, are you guys actually opening the accounts? Is this something that other HENRY or wealthy people in your circle are doing?

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u/Ok-Inspection7565 — 16 hours ago

Assistance with Decision regarding Current Financial Advisor - Retain or Fire, and How to Approach Conversation?

Hello HENRY community ! Hoping for a little advice for my current situation with my current financial advisor.

I am a newly graduated medical fellow starting an attending position in Sept 2026, and my wife is currently a PGY6 out of 7 surgical resident. As such, our HHI will be ~$480K starting in Sept (obviously prorated since it will only be for the last few months of this year). I feel as though we have a pretty good investing/saving/budgeting system in place, both currently and for the upcoming boost to our HHI. Currently, we contribute enough to company 403b to maximize the match, max out backdoor Roth IRAs (which is way to go based on our combined income), have $18K in an emergency fund that we continue to contribute to/grow, are opening a 529 plan for our new baby, and are transitioning our loans from SAVE to IBR this month with plans to both continue pursuing PSLF for both of us. Our investment accounts are all with Fidelity and invested in broad index funds with 75%/25% US to international split.

A parent passed away while I was in medical school, leaving a small 6-figure life insurance payout via a Trust account, and that account was managed by a financial advisor who is a family friend of sorts (via another family member's workplace). It has now aged out of a Trust and exists in a Wells Fargo general brokerage account, that is still managed by this financial advisor. He is a wonderful person, and has generally done a great job, generating ~18% returns since 2023. However, based on past statements, he incurs a 1.35% advisory fee, which I believe is simply 1.35% AUM (though it does not say this explicitly). Additionally, the holdings are invested in what seems to be an overly complicated manner - 75% ETFs, 25% mutual funds with about 14 different funds involved (total market, S&P, emerging, etc).

As our HHI jumps markedly in Sept, I am trying to get a better hold on our whole picture and how to best manage our investment accounts. I specifically am wondering whether to "fire" this advisor and how to approach it.

  1. 1.35% AUM fee seems quite steep. Should I simply negotiate this in some way?
  2. I feel these holdings are needlessly complicated, and I am wondering if I should simply convert them all into a combination of FSKAX and FTIHX (which is what our other retirement/investment accounts are with Fidelity. However, I imagine that would incur a large tax bomb, and I am not sure that is worth it?
  3. I feel comfortable managing pretty much everything, but could certainly benefit from a 1-time yearly consultation meeting of sorts. Perhaps I should just ask him for this?
  4. Ultimately, I do not feel I want to continue with Wells Fargo, and I would rather just move everything to Fidelity, where I currently have things. I imagine this would involve "firing" this individual? Or is it conceivable he could work as my advisor in a consultation manner, while still allowing me to move the account to Fidelity?

Thank you again for all the advice!

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u/FiletMignron — 12 hours ago

Shall I divert kids utma funding to trump account?

We are funding 529 for education but next to it every month we send some money to kids utma account. Thinking to divert it to trump account (and maybe move utma funds to trump account).

My idea is that after 18 we can convert it to Roth Ira at low tax rate and it can be tax beneficial comparing to utma (which will be taxed at our tax rate during their colleague). It can be used for house purchase as qualified expenses so should also help them to start this way, remaining can seed their retirement.

Does it make sense? What are you doing?

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u/HelloW0r — 16 hours ago

Those of you making over $250k, do you buy new cars?

I am always shocked reading the car buying subreddit with people talking about buying new. Like do people not realize those are depreciating assets?

I hear ads on the local radio “shop now and we can reduce your payment with a new car”

The whole new car industry just seems to ride off uneducated people with no money.

Give me the low mileage $15k vehicle with a couple cosmetic dents from the auction.

Curious to hear opinions of other HENRYs

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u/BigSlongGoy — 1 day ago

Should I upgrade to a larger vehicle?

24M, currently worth ~$150k and on track to make $250-300k total comp this year. My fiancée and I are getting married this year and after that our next big milestone is saving for a house (hopefully by fall 2028 or spring 2029).

I still owe around $15k on my current sedan, which has been totally reliable but feels small these days. I’ve wanted to upgrade to a full-size truck but haven’t prioritized or given it much thought since I wouldn’t pull the trigger until post-wedding.

I would more than likely finance it and am thinking about a solid down payment + financing the rest at a low rate. Curious on people’s thoughts around down payment size in this situation.

For those who were in a similar spot early on (solid income, building net worth, getting married, planning for a house soon), what move did you make and were there any regrets either way?

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u/Icy_Deer_8232 — 1 day ago

How do you feel about people posting here with multi-million net worth?

Pretty new here, but reading through the description of the sub, it clearly stated it’s for people with NW under $2M. Recently there have been multiple posts from people who have $3-4M+ net worth. I honestly can’t help but roll my eyes. Maybe it’s my background, but having multiple millions of dollars net worth isn’t “not rich” in my book. I don’t mean to be rude, but I just can’t help but think the posts come off like subtle bragging rather than looking for genuine advice. I am happy for them, don’t get me wrong, but I just can’t imagine not feeling rich at that level and it kind of defeats the purpose of the sub.

How do others feel about it?

Edit: Reading through the comments, I think we are conflating FIRE and HENRY terms. It’s fair given how uncertain the job market is, but there’s significant difference between both concepts.

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u/Desperate-Reply-8492 — 2 days ago

The florida geo-arbitrage math just isn't mathing for me

my spouse and I (hhi ~380k) have been doing the classic northeast to south florida debate for like two years now. Everyone always screams about the zero state income tax but honestly im looking at the actual numbers and it feels like a total wash

Sure saving that 9% on state tax sounds amazing on paper until you look at what a decent house in a good school district actually costs down there now. plus the property insurance industry is an absolute trainwreck. I was reading some recent market data and local breakdowns from larry mastropieri just trying to get a realistic picture of the inventory, and the costs of carrying a house down there are just brutal. Between the $10k+ insurance quotes and the massive property tax reassessments the second you close, it eats up almost all the income tax savings

Am I completely missing something here or has the window for this specific move just shut? it feels like moving your entire life away from family just to break even is completely pointless. anyone who made the move in the last year actually coming out ahead financially?

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u/Abril-prieto-cevallo — 3 days ago

25M, HCOL, mid-200s HHI (dual income next year) — dividend tilt vs total-market + chubbyFIRE trajectory

25M, HCOL, been leveling up financially over the last couple years. First time posting.

Income: ~$205k base + variable bonus, mid-200s total. Getting married next year and my partner will start working with a modest salary (~$50k), so HHI moves toward low-300s in 2027.

Snapshot:
- Liquid: ~$7k (building a 3–6mo emergency fund next)
- Rollover IRA ~$52k: VOO 46%, VYM 38%, SCHD 6%, ~9% cash (SPAXX), small single-stock (~1%)
- 401k: currently at the match, moving to max ($24,500) going forward, minuscule amount in the 401k.
- Mortgage: ~$860k, co-owned with family, ~6% rate
- Student loans being paid off this summer; no other consumer debt after that

Questions:

  1. Allocation at my age. I'm ~44% dividend funds (VYM + SCHD) at 25 with a 30-year horizon. It's all inside the IRA so the tax drag doesn't apply, but is the dividend tilt worth it here, or should I consolidate toward total-market / S&P and drop it?

  2. Backdoor Roth. With the second income pushing us toward the MFJ Roth phase-out next year, does it make sense to roll this rollover IRA into my 401k now so the pro-rata rule doesn't wreck a future backdoor Roth?

  3. Idle cash. ~9% is sitting in SPAXX doing nothing. Lump-sum deploy, or keep a buffer?

  4. ChubbyFIRE trajectory. Targeting roughly $2.5M invested / ~$100k spend. With a second income coming and index discipline, is chubby by early-to-mid 40s realistic on this income, and what savings rate / allocation would you run to get there?

  5. I know 6% makes it close to a wash on paper, but is the psychological upside worth it?

Appreciate any input.

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u/Ecstatic_Motor362 — 2 days ago

Do you have hard time feeling safe?

Background: 37m, wife 32
HHI: $400-600k where its solely on my side and my wife helps a lot with the admin side of my business
Liquid inv / cash: $2.3mil
Home: $1.8mil
Mortgage: $750k

Just a bit on my childhood maybe it matters: Growing up i was always a odd kid, i have friends but i was also getting targeted by bullies so while my highschool life was overall good i had to endure volatile moments. Being a new immigrant my mom was the sole caretake for my sibling and i since my dad had to work oversea, so she didnt have time to really teach me or talk to me. I had to handle these bullying myself or with my best friend. I never knew what “being myself” meant and had to worked on myself a lot since meeting my wife.

I only worked one job at 24 and then i jumped into entrepreneurship. That 1 job was extremely demanding and i learned a lot but also completely traumatized me because my toxic boss. So i vow to never be an employee again. While my family is middle class because they didnt agree with my path (it wasnt toxic they were supportive but still disagreed) i didnt ask for money and relied on myself and had been dirt poor when i met my wife. We are talking about worrying about a $500 credit card bill end of month that kind of poor. I grinded very very hard for 5 years to survive and eventually we stablized and can save some money. Our savings were maybe 80-100k at 30.

Then covid hit and while everyone in my field gave up I continued to grind by moving everything online. Revenue blew up 5-6x in those years and propelled my career 15-20 years ahead of schedule.

So now here we are with a beautiful child, life is good and business is going well but i still couldnt shake that survival feeling in back of my mind so i feel like whatever we have is not “safe”. Just yesterday I updated our quarterly networth calculation and saw our liquid position gone up by 350k YTD yet i still find myself thinking “ya but thats not enough if i lose my business today”

Im wondering if any self employed or business owners have similar experience and can share? Maybe my early years of grinding combined with bullying during highschool traumatized me.

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u/allbutluk — 2 days ago

Does it look ok to join a country club

We’re 34/29 couple. This club is 5 minutes away and has full golf/tennis/pool/gym.

180k initiation fee(40% is redeemable from future price if we quit)
1.8k dues per month
450 per quarter f&b minimum

Our finances

720k HHI
1m house equity(900k left in mortgage, 2.25% rates, 5.5k PITI)
3.4m liquid + retirement

Main concerns
- no kids yet, may have one in next couple of years and it could be hard to make time to use the club
- income is good now but both work in tech so we’re unsure of the future with AI and industry shifts
- we are probably poorer than most people in the club(most seem to be old rich families or young people from crazy equity events from startup). We’re just average ICs so feel like we might not belong here or fit in.

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u/Flat_Plantain9499 — 3 days ago

Family Lifestyle Creep & Savings Goals

First time poster, long time creeper, sometime commenter.

I can't shake the feeling that my family's lifestyle creep has gotten out of control and I don't know how to rein it in. But in actuality we are saving ~20% a year, and are still living within our means.

The data:
Married in our early 40s, two incredible children in grade school
HHI: ~$550 - $600k depending on RSUs
401ks: ~$1.07MM
Other savings: ~$530k
Mortage: None, we rent babyyyyyy
529s: Fully funded
VVVHCOL in SoCal

No debt. Cars are paid off (certified pre-owned).

We are spending around $250k a year. Sometimes more. I comb over our credit card statements and there are certainly places we can cut. We get take out food once a week, go out to eat as a family twice a month (it's so expensive! have you been? why is everything so expensive!). We never doordash/ubereats. We have cut down on our drinking (which I think has saved us about $8k a year). We travel, but that's why we make money right? To take our kids on adventures? And then there is the Amazon/Target junk hauls, which again, obviously we could cut back on but we like our humming bird feeder and when it broke we just ordered a new one because we like it and the humming birds will be so sad without it. But all those little $8 - $12 dollar one off purchases add up.

Like financially I think we are fine, maybe even good? But I cannot stop feeling like we are going to send ourselves to the poorhouse with our spending, despite there not really being any evidence to support it.

Does anyone else feel like this? That life style creep has gotten the better of you, but maybe it's okay? I feel like it's haunting me. Maybe it's just the tenuous state of the world, and this is what 40 feels like?

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u/Separate-Produce-361 — 3 days ago

$315k HHI - Moving from $2900/mo PITI to $5200/mo PITI? Is this a bad idea?

My (39) wife (39) is moving careers to a MUCH more stable job starting at $140k with 15% bonus and $25k retention package over 3 years coming from $110k with a failing company that will be out of gas by the end of the year I suspect. It's 90 minutes of driving in traffic each way so we are planning to relocate next spring. I'm at $155k, we have two kids 6 and 8. We don't want to uproot them but its going to happen... Better schools, better area... We just think it's the right move.

I do not want to downgrade from our current house, we love our existing home valued at roughly $700k now with $240k left on the mortgage. So we are looking at a similar size new construction home for $950k. Our house today MIL Rate is 37 and our assessment came back saying we will owe an additional $1k/mo on our current PITI payment, the NEW town MIL rate is 24. We have cash on hand to cover (Paving, Window Treatments, Appliances outside the allowance, movers, initial landscaping). There is NOT much out on the market in the towns we are looking .... its either RENOVATE or build, anything that's nice and even overpriced is gone FAST.

Monthly Take Home is estimated around $17k (gross $26k). I feel like $11,800 is enough monthly to cover all the "stuff". I have a pretty detailed budget and i feel like we have decent padding. I'm expecting the $25k retention will be comfort buffer as well for new house unknowns for the first 3 years of a new house.

Am I going to REGRET this decision? Our first house was $180k in 2013.... so this is anxiety inducing for sure but the numbers I see say its ok.... r/mortages is like GO FOR IT while r/personalfinance says YOU'RE GOING TO BE POOR AND STARVING....

What's this groups' take?

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u/Want_To_Live_To_100 — 4 days ago

Help me justify spending 16k on a watch with 500k HHI

24m. 450-500k HHI. I am considering purchasing a used Rolex GMT Master Batman but I’m not sure if it’s the right decision. I know that the watch won’t outperform the S&P and there’s a chance it depreciates but I don’t know, part of me really just wants a nice watch, as I’ve never owned one before. I’m only 2 years out of college so I don’t have as much saved up as someone with my HHI usually would have. I don’t work a job where I need to wear it or would benefit from wearing it.

Thoughts? Advice?

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u/Luckytiger1990 — 4 days ago

At what net worth did you stop putting off estate planning?

My wife and I are both 34 and live in Springfield, MA. Our household income is around $600k, and between RSUs, retirement accounts, a brokerage account and our house, we're sitting somewhere around a $1.4M net worth depending on the market. We've been pretty disciplined about investing, tax planning, and insurance but one thing we've kept pushing off is estate planning. I always thought it was something people did much later in life or after they had a lot more wealth than we do.

A conversation with a coworker recently got me thinking that if something happened to one of us, we'd probably be leaving the other person with more headaches than necessary. We don't have kids yet, but that's likely in the next couple of years, so it feels like we're getting to the point where we should stop procrastinating.

For those of you who've already done it, what was the trigger?

I'm curious how other HENRYs approached this

Thank you!

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u/Crazy_Wolverine4742 — 5 days ago

In San Francisco, Even $180k Salaries Are No Longer Enough

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/06/29/technology/san-francisco-tech-salaries.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

TLDR:

A couple earning $360k ($240k post tax) struggles to find a <$5k 1BR in SF and do not feel comfortable living there long term given the VHCOL.

Excerpts:

“I don’t feel completely hopeless, but I don’t think I can stay in S.F.,” Ms. Razniak said. Mr. Woodbury added, “At some point, there was a slow transition where we both realized it just didn’t make any sense.”

~

Despite more than doubling her salary since she arrived, Ms. Razniak said she felt neither wealthy nor that she was living paycheck to paycheck. Instead, it’s something in between: a low-level vigilance about money that she had expected, by now, to have left behind.

“I thought when I’d make $200k I would be able to basically not worry about money at all,” she said, adding that she and her friends stopped going out to restaurants last year and shifted to potlucks and reality-TV nights.

~

Ms. Razniak and Mr. Woodbury have started thinking about Seattle. The life Ms. Razniak imagines there is one she cannot picture affording in San Francisco, even on a combined income that would be remarkable almost anywhere else in the country.

“We want a house, we want a garage, we want storage,” she said. “And that just doesn’t feel attainable here.”

~

It certainly seems like the cost to buy in SF has spiked in recent months (at least anecdotally) so I can understand the anxiety around affording a home. At the same time, spending 25% of post tax income on 1BR rent seems totally reasonable. Maybe they really are just caught in the awkward middle?

Edit: Supposing we take her ambitions literally, how much does a house with a garage cost in SF and how affordable would it be with their income?

u/chux1ng — 6 days ago

build pool w/ loan or wait another year

title says it all.

no debt besides mortgage, 750k income, on a FIRE path investing enough each year to meet our goals. Looking to put a 200-250K pool in. Will have about 40-50% cash down payment ready this fall. Options are to do it now financing ~$100K vs. wait another 1-2 years to pay all in cash. Probably do not have enough equity to fully do HELOC, so likely a higher interest unsecured loan.

If we finance half, we would plan to pay it off in 12-18 months, so the interest expense is minimal. Loan payments may slightly decrease our brokerage contributions for 1 year, but will still be investing ~100K/year.

I am mostly asking about debt philosophy. Not worried about my ability to pay back quick. More curious about perspectives on financing non-essentials/luxury items given the particulars above.

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u/Horror-Sir7864 — 6 days ago

Is this boat purchase in the picture for me right now?

Looking to go buy a 2-6 year old boat in the 30-35k price range. I know a lot of you are going to say “sounds like you made up your mind already” but looking to get a gut check.

I’ve grown up around boats my whole life, but I’ve never owned my own personally. Trust me I know boats are money pits, but I want one to fish in and take my family out on. (Have a kid coming). I live in an area where it would/could get a lot of use year round. We have storage at our house so don’t have to pay storage fees.

We are 29 married with HHI of 231k plus a few k in bonus. Our salary potential definitely has potential to grow as we are both fairly young in our careers. Combined we contribute about 17.5% of pretax to our traditional 401k. We max Roth IRA and half max our HSA. We currently don’t really have or contribute to much in terms of taxable brokerage accounts ( have a few k but that’s it).

We have a total net worth right now of slightly above 400k.

Total retirement accounts (401k Roth HSA): ~345k

Cash: ~55k

House equity: ~38k based off what we’ve paid towards principal (owe 389 at 6.6%), most likely more as we could sell for more as we did a lot of renovations like new roof, new kitchen gut and remodel, and master bath gut and remodel.

Cars: one fully owned and one 2 years left with 15.5k balance.

No other debts. After taxes, investing, bills and average expenses over the month. We still have anywhere from $2000-3000 leftover each month that goes to cash savings.

With daycare expenses probably beginning early middle next year we obviously have to take that into account as well.

My plan would be to put 10k down over a ten year loan, with plans to pay it down faster. Minimum Monthly payments would be around $270.

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u/throwmeaway2725 — 7 days ago

Purchase Threshold sanity check....

Hey everyone,

Looking for some perspective on what kind of upgrade price would make sense for us right now. My wife and I (35) would like to upgrade for more space. I’d like to sanity check our numbers before purchasing since prices have significantly increased where we are located (HCOL) and we have a kid on the way.

Monthly Income: $16.4k (post taxes and maxing 401ks) ($370k gross and not including ~40k annual bonuses)

Additional Income (side hustles): We both have side hustles that bring in a combined 2-5k a month

Assets: $800k (401ks)

Current Mortgage/Taxes/Insurance: $4.3k

Expenses: $7k/month

Equity: Our current mortgage is $483k and think we can sell our home for ~$950k-$1m leaving us ~487k in equity.

Cash: $260k HYSA

______________________________________________________________________________

We are targeting the $1.3-$1.4m range. We are looking to put down $700k as a down payment ($450k in equity +$100k cash +$100k gift). At $1.4m and $700k down our monthly mortgage would be $5.9k.

Is this a reasonable purchase? We don’t plan to move after this and would like to grow into this home. Given the baby is on the way, I’d like to scale back on the side hustles but it may be required to give us more of a savings cushion. I think this is a stretch but at the same time there are very few homes in the area, the school district is fantastic, and our incomes will increase in the future. I’m also trying to balance the potential need for help with the baby at some point which may result in another ~$5k childcare expense.

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u/Forward_Choice_9034 — 6 days ago

Reno budget. Do we need a reality check?

TL;DR: 35 year old couple, single income ~$640K rising to $800K-$1M, $1.5M Tudor home, 4 kids, no debt besides mortgage, saving ~$200K/year. Planning a $1.5M whole-home renovation in 4-5 years (elevator, 4th level suite, high-end finishes) vs. a pricier sport-court addition option. Asking if the $1.5M reno budget is realistic given finances.

My wife and I (ages 35) with our 4 kids (ages 8, 5, 2, and 6 months) moved into our “forever home” one year ago after finishing medical training. It is a beautiful Tudor built in 1993, purchased for $1.5M. We love it here, love the job, want to stay, medium to low cost of living area, with pockets of really beautiful manors and properties. Our neighbor to the north has a property that could sell for likely $4-5M, built by the same builder as our home. Some other homes in the area are $750k-$1.5M

We are going to renovate in 4-5 years. We will likely need to move out for 12-18 months during the process.

Current financials for family:
- No debt other than home ($1.2M mortgage, paying $9k/month). Bigger expenses include $15k/year private school (will increase to max $30k/year once all kids are in school), $7500/year country club, not huge travelers but want to budget $20k/year for vacations. Nanny is starting tomorrow actually and will cost $50k annually

- HHI: taking home $35k/month after tax, after maxing 401k, HSA, etc. Will bonus $150-200k end of year. My salary will jump from $640k/year and will stay around $800k-$1M for the foreseeable future starting next year. Single earner.
- 401k: $70k (second calendar year at new job, rolled everything previously held in 401k over to Roth a few years ago)
- ROTH: $370k
- Trust accounts: $340k
- 529’s: in total $300k
- Taxable brokerage: $75k, started this 3 months ago because I didn’t know where to store extra cash.
- We are gifted roughly $50k per year to use to our discretion. Have been using that to fund 529’s primarily.

We are thinking of a $1.5M budget, which would include a 4-story elevator, finishing off the “attic” 4th story to be a mother-in-law suite/library overlooking Lake Michigan, and a whole house remodel utilizing the original builder, keeping lots of the charm of the original build, and honoring the Tudor tradition, but opening up the footprint and making some more functional space. Medium to high end finishes (like a La Cornu/lacanche oven, if you will).

I can probably stuff away $200k/year after funding all of the appropriate accounts annually, so if I’m able to do that and get market returns, then this might be doable just based on that savings. My dad reminded me that I will likely get a $500k inheritance within the next 5-10 years or so - my sweet grandmother turns 100 this year. Honestly she might outlive us all, though, so I’m not banking on that haha.

Is this an outrageous budget? We initially thought about doing an additional structure (indoor sport court) with a breezeway, but the finished new structure and furnishings would be ballpark $1.5M in and of itself, not including the house remodel. So if we did the sport court, we wouldn’t finish the 4th level or do the elevator. And the whole budget would have to be like $2.5M, which just seems like way too much. So $1.5M is somehow the compromise number. We could of course not include the 4th story/elevator and it would save a considerable amount, also.

We are dreamers and I think maybe need a reality check.

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u/deeznutz1327 — 6 days ago