u/Clear-Victory1956

Do some people develop a high pain tolerance for life stress without realising it?

I’m in my mid-30s with a wife and three kids, trying to build a serious career and create long-term financial security for my family.

On top of that, my mum has cancer, there’s constant financial pressure, bills, rent/mortgage goals, career pressure, and the general weight of trying to be a good husband and father while still staying ambitious.

The strange thing is, I don’t always feel like I’m falling apart. I just keep going. I go to work, handle responsibilities, think about the next goal, and try to keep moving forward.

But sometimes I wonder whether I’ve actually built resilience, or whether I’ve just normalised a level of stress that would probably feel overwhelming to other people.

For those with families, serious responsibilities, health issues in the family, and big career or financial goals, how do you tell the difference between having a high tolerance for pressure and quietly running yourself into the ground?

Starting a new Enterprise AE role soon, moving from a non-SaaS B2B sales background into the tech sector.

For anyone who’s made a similar jump, what were the main things you focused on early that helped you ramp quicker?

Also keen to hear from sales leaders when someone joins from outside the industry, what do you like to see them get across quickly, and what are the common mistakes to avoid?

How do you view international sales experience (particularly Singapore/SEA) when assessing AE or sales leadership candidates?

Do you see international experience as a real differentiator, or is it only valuable if the person can clearly connect it back to revenue outcomes?

You get the better job, higher income, promotion, savings goal, etc. and for a short while it feels like you’ve finally caught up. Then pretty quickly your brain moves the goalpost and starts focusing on the next gap.

For those who’ve dealt with this, what actually helped you feel more settled?

You get the better job, higher income, promotion, savings goal, etc. and for a short while it feels like you’ve finally caught up. Then pretty quickly your brain moves the goalpost and starts focusing on the next gap.

For those who’ve dealt with this, what actually helped you feel more settled?

Experienced reps, do you find you’re more productive making calls from home, a meeting room, or a private space compared to an open office?

I’ve been in sales for years, so it’s not a confidence thing. I can make the calls and run the conversations. But I’m noticeably sharper when I’m calling privately - i can pace, think clearly, adjust my tone, and get into a better rhythm.

In an open office, especially when people only hear my side of the call, part of my brain is still aware of the room. Makes me.uncomfortable at times. I can do it, but I don’t feel as locked in.

Curious how others manage this. Do you protect private calling blocks, or did you just train yourself not to care?

Curious if others have experienced this.

When you start making bigger career moves, earning more, taking more risks, or moving into a different level of opportunity, what generally happens with the people around you?

I recently left a role where I was performing well for a bigger opportunity at a much larger organisation. Since then, I’ve noticed certain comments from people around me that seem supportive on the surface, but also plant doubt.

For e.g. my boss has said things like “you can always come back if it doesn’t work out.” I know that might be well intentioned, but it also feels like it subtly frames the move as something likely to fail......

I don’t mean obvious haters. More subtle things.

People questioning whether the move is too risky.
People downplaying it.
People acting like you should just be grateful for where you already are.
People projecting their own fear or comfort zone onto you.

For those who have moved beyond what family, friends, colleagues, or former peers expected from you - what did you notice? Did relationships change?

And how did you stay grounded without letting other people’s expectations pull you back?

Curious if others have experienced this.

When you start making bigger career moves, earning more, taking more risks, or moving into a different level of opportunity, what generally happens with the people around you?

I recently left a role where I was performing well for a bigger opportunity at a much larger organisation. Since then, I’ve noticed certain comments from people around me that seem supportive on the surface, but also plant doubt.

For e.g. my boss has said things like “you can always come back if it doesn’t work out.” I know that might be well intentioned, but it also feels like it subtly frames the move as something likely to fail......

I don’t mean obvious haters. More subtle things.

People questioning whether the move is too risky.
People downplaying it.
People acting like you should just be grateful for where you already are.
People projecting their own fear or comfort zone onto you.

For those who have moved beyond what family, friends, colleagues, or former peers expected from you - what did you notice? Did relationships change?

And how did you stay grounded without letting other people’s expectations pull you back?

Curious how people think about this.

I recently left a role where I was performing well in an industry that feels like it’s on the decline, for a bigger role in tech at a much larger organisation with stronger long-term upside. Better brand, bigger clients, more upside, but also more pressure and uncertainty.

It got me thinking- can staying at the same company for too long hurt your long-term career trajectory, even if you’re doing well?

I’m not talking about job hopping every 12 months. More when someone stays somewhere for years because it’s familiar, comfortable, or they’re doing well enough- but maybe they’ve stopped growing, stopped being challenged, or aren’t being exposed to bigger opportunities.

At what point does loyalty/stability become stagnation?

And for those who eventually left after staying too long, did you feel like the move helped reset your trajectory?

Curious how people think about this.

I recently left a role where I was performing well in an industry that feels like it’s on the decline, for a bigger role in tech at a much larger organisation with stronger long-term upside. Better brand, bigger clients, more upside, but also more pressure and uncertainty.

It got me thinking- can staying at the same company for too long hurt your long-term career trajectory, even if you’re doing well?

I’m not talking about job hopping every 12 months. More when someone stays somewhere for years because it’s familiar, comfortable, or they’re doing well enough- but maybe they’ve stopped growing, stopped being challenged, or aren’t being exposed to bigger opportunities.

At what point does loyalty/stability become stagnation?

And for those who eventually left after staying too long, did you feel like the move helped reset your trajectory?

I’m in my mid-to-late 30s, married with kids, and I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the trade-offs between different life paths.

I love my family and I wouldn’t trade them, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t sometimes wonder what life would look like if I didn’t have the responsibilities I have now.

I’m in a decent/high-earning career path, but because I have a family, high rent/cost of living, kids, bills, and all the normal adult responsibilities, it often feels like the money disappears before I ever get to feel “ahead.”

I see people around my age without kids or without family responsibilities and I sometimes wonder if they’re quietly living a very different life- more savings, more travel, nicer clothes, nicer car, more freedom, less guilt spending money on themselves.

For me, even buying myself something small can come with guilt because I immediately think about savings, the kids, the house deposit, the next bill, or whether I should be putting that money somewhere more responsible.

At the same time, I know the bachelor life probably has its own trade-offs too- loneliness, lack of deeper purpose, no family milestones, no kids running around, no real “home team” behind you.

So I guess my question is:

For men in their 30s and 40s, especially those earning decent money, do you ever compare these two lives?

Do family men fantasise about the freedom of being single with money?

And do single/high-earning men ever look at family men and feel like they’re missing something deeper?

Is it basically a trade-off either way?

I’m in my mid/late 30s, married with three kids, and I’m moving into a higher-paying enterprise sales role. Base is around $160k with strong commission upside, but I don’t want to assume commissions are guaranteed.

The honest situation is that while income is improving, we don’t own a home yet and savings aren’t where I’d like them to be. I feel like I’m entering a phase where I have a real chance to change my family’s financial position, but I’m also aware lifestyle creep could kill the opportunity.

For people who started earning more later, especially with a family, what would you prioritise first?

Emergency fund?

House deposit?

Debt reduction?

Investing?

Super?

Avoiding lifestyle creep?

I’m not looking for financial advice specific to my situation, more interested in how others thought through the order of priorities when income increased but assets were behind.

What would you do differently if you could go back?

I’m in my mid/late 30s, married with three kids, and I’m moving into a higher-paying enterprise sales role. Base is around $160k with strong commission upside, but I don’t want to assume commissions are guaranteed.

The honest situation is that while income is improving, we don’t own a home yet and savings aren’t where I’d like them to be. I feel like I’m entering a phase where I have a real chance to change my family’s financial position, but I’m also aware lifestyle creep could kill the opportunity.

For people who started earning more later, especially with a family, what would you prioritise first?

Emergency fund?

House deposit?

Debt reduction?

Investing?

Super?

Avoiding lifestyle creep?

I’m not looking for financial advice specific to my situation, more interested in how others thought through the order of priorities when income increased but assets were behind.

What would you do differently if you could go back?

I’m curious about the psychology of this, especially in sales.

Salespeople are generally meant to be commercially driven and motivated by upside, but I’ve noticed a lot of people stay in the same company for years even when they probably know they could earn more elsewhere.

Is it mostly comfort, fear of failing in a new environment, loyalty, lifestyle, golden handcuffs, or just not wanting to start again?

For those who stayed too long somewhere, what kept you there?

And for those who left, did you realise afterwards that you had been undervaluing yourself?

I’m curious to hear from people who made the jump from a familiar role where they were valued into a bigger organisation or more serious career path.

Did you feel nervous before starting? Did the move actually change your trajectory, or did the risk feel overhyped in hindsight?

Also interested in whether people with mortgages/kids/family responsibilities think about this differently.

I’m curious to hear from people who made the jump from a familiar role where they were valued into a bigger organisation or more serious career path.

Did you feel nervous before starting? Did the move actually change your trajectory, or did the risk feel overhyped in hindsight?

Also interested in whether people with mortgages/kids/family responsibilities think about this differently.

I recently resigned from a company I’ve been with for several years to take a role that feels like a major step forward in my career with a globally recognised company.

After I resigned, senior leadership pushed hard for me to stay. The message was basically, “Tell us what you want and we’ll see what we can do.” I knew I was valued internally, but I also had a sense that I was worth more on the open market, and the new opportunity confirmed that.

What’s left me reflecting is why it took me resigning for my value to be recognised properly, especially from a compensation perspective.

Since I confirmed I won’t be exploring counteroffers, things have felt a bit strange. My manager has made a few negative comments about the new company and seems to be trying to plant seeds of doubt. Some colleagues have also become distant, which feels odd after working together for years.

Has anyone else experienced this after resigning? Is this just a normal part of leaving a company where people didn’t expect you to actually move on?

I’m currently working through my notice period and wanted to get some outside perspective.

I’ve been with my current company for a long time and have performed strongly. My part of the business has been one of the better-performing areas, and I’ve carried a fair bit of responsibility across revenue, clients, and team leadership.

Recently, I accepted a new role with a much larger and more recognised company. It’s a significant step up for me career-wise, both in terms of brand and earning potential.

When I resigned, my current employer came back with a counteroffer. They made it clear they wanted me to stay and were willing to improve my package. I appreciated that, but I ultimately decided the new opportunity was the right move for my long-term career.

Since I declined the counteroffer, the vibe has changed.

My direct manager hasn’t really communicated my departure properly to the wider business, even though more junior people leaving seem to get more attention. My MD has become more standoffish. I’ve also started hearing little comments along the lines of “if it falls apart” or “if it doesn’t work out,” which makes it feel like people are quietly expecting or hoping the new role fails.

Before resigning, I felt valued. But now it feels like once I didn’t accept the counteroffer, that changed. There’s also a bit of a “we’re a family here” culture, but in practice it feels like loyalty is expected even when career progression is limited.

I’m trying to stay professional and not overthink it, but the shift in energy is noticeable. Part of me wonders if this is just normal when someone senior leaves, especially if they were contributing strongly. Another part of me thinks maybe some companies only value you while they still think they can keep you.

Has anyone else experienced this after turning down a counteroffer?

Is it normal for management to become cold or dismissive once you’ve committed to leaving?

And how do you mentally handle the notice period when you’re already checked out but still trying to leave on good terms?