u/BlueberryKiss_

Just the millionth vent post because this is overwhelming me.

The only thing i wanted was for her to have a happy childhood. I didn't have the happiest and i hoped she would do. I feel like i did most things right, i worked on my issues before having her, i have more than enough money for us to live confortable, my ex husband seemed like a good dad.

She is a mess since her sister killed herself, then i divorced and suddenly my ex husband is not the father i wanted for her. The biggest issue is her sister dying i guess, my daughter has become a shell of herself. It's been two years, we tried therapy, play therapy, grief therapy, grief camp, grief counseling, i tried therapy with her, we went to another country so she could see the places her sister used to visit, we tried everything.

She cries all the time, is not interested in anything, has lost many friends because she is "not fun to be around anymore" she doesn't want to do any activity even the ones she used to enjoy, i have tried everything and it feels like it will be forever. I got her a cat and it kinda seemed to have given her a purpose but the cat fucking died so there's that.

I'm also dealing with the grief myself as not being able to help her sister has been eating me alive the past two years. I feel like it's been enough time to where it should be better but it seems to get worse everyday and i'm so overwhelmed and lost on what to do.

I used to picture her future as something happy but now it feels like she is gonna be like this forever and i fear she is just fucked up and i obviously hate feeling like this over my own child, it makes me feel like an awful mother. I don't want her to feel like this now, i don't want her to be like this forever. I want my happy child back.

I know it could be worse but this sucks so much and it feels like no matter what i do, nothing helps.

I'm so upset i just need to vent, i apologize in advance.

My ex stepdaughter killed herself two years ago and my child is now a shell of herself in every way possible. She is 7.

I have tried everything and i truly mean everything but she is just not okay and at this point i feel like never will be.

I truly just feel like giving up, of course i'm not mad at my child or my stepdaughter i'm just mad at the situation and what it created and at the fact that i lost someone i saw as my daughter and now it also feels like i lost my real daughter because of it. Whatever, i can't do anything more than be there for her. We got a cat a few months ago, stepdaughter loved cats and we never got around to get her one, which i deeply regret, i thought getting one for my child would help her "honor" her sister or whatever. I Don't know. I don't know what i'm doing or what to do anymore.

Woke up today and the cat is fucking dead. Don't know why, it just died like that ??? we have had pets die before but this was a cat supposed to help with her sisters passing. I'm MAD. My daughter is with her father right now so i fear already what her dad is telling her about her sister because he always talks badly about her and apparently there's nothing i can do to avoid it. Now she will come home looking for her cat and it will be dead like her sister. Yes i can do the "They're together now and blah blah blah" thing but i'm so fucking mad and sad, this doesn't feel fair. I don't know how i'm gonna tell her or what i will do when she starts crying and screaming that she wants her sister and i don't even have the fucking cat to comfort her. It sucks. I hate this.

I feel super selfish for this, it's been eating me alive and i just need to vent, okay? I feel like i can't tell this to anyone.

My (technically ex) stepdaughter killed herself two years ago and it has absolutely destroyed us, specially my kid. My daughter is now 7 and even thought it's been two years she is a shell of herself now. I have tried everything and i mean it. Therapy, play therapy, grief therapy, grief counseling, a grief camp, we even travelled to a whole other country so she could see her sisters grave and say goodbye.

My daughter still cries every day about it. We will be doing anything and she will start absolutely sobbing and it absolutely breaks me. I don't know what to do or how to handle it.

She doesn't want to celebrate anything, not her birthday, not christmas, not halloween... she doesn't want to watch tv or read or go to school. She wants to quit all her hobbies.

She knows her sister killed herself (her father told her, she was so little i didn't want to put the idea of suicide in her mind yet but fuck what i want i guess) and she has so many questions, i have so many questions. I don't know. Her sister left a letter to her and sometimes i wonder maybe i should read it to her now but also, she is 7. I don't know. How does one even deal with this???

I also just feel so guilty about her death, i know i should have done more and seeing how it affected my child just makes those feelings more real. I absolutely adored her, i truly did. I was divorcing her father and i offered for her to live with my daughter and i since she didn't want to live with her parents. I don't know why she said no, i think she knew she was gonna kill herself then.

She just went back to her country and a few days later we got the call. My ex husband is so upset and embarrassed about it, he is always talking badly about her to out child. It sucks. I hate what her death has done.

I know it wasn't her fault, i know she did try but i can't help but think had she stayed, it would have gotten better. She was at an age where she could be free and start again. It would have gotten better. I miss her. I'm like not mad at her but upset at the situation, i want to shake her and tell her not to be silly, it will be okay, we are here and we love her but i can't. She is dead. She is dead and we are heartbroken and that won't change.