ON THE OTHER END OF THE OLD STORY
So me and my sp were dating for almost a year and he broke up with me bc of how i was treating him. Our relationship was good up until the last 2-3 months where i was constantly bickering and was angry at him all the time. He felt as if he was my punching bag. He did bring it up twice and i tried to control my emotions and not take it out on him but i kept going back to my old ways. When he left me, it finally clicked inside of me. I realized what ive done and how much i affected not only mine but also his mental health. Its been nearly two months and i’m working on myself. And i know if we are gonna get back together then i need to improve on myself and if not then it’ll just go back to the same toxic cycle. I have been affirming, listening to subliminals when i’m sleeping and doing mirror work. And honestly, i’m not sure if it’s doing anything, however i feel more at peace compared to how i was feeling a few weeks ago. I also think it goes hand in hand with how ive felt sure that we would reconcile in the future. ANYWAYS. Everyone says that circumstances dont matter at all. But im wondering if it applies to this as well? Usually i’ll read about the SP being avoidant or being the one who inflicted pain. However in my case, it was me doing it to him. He was nothing but wonderful to me. Can i still manifest an ex back who ive hurt to the point of getting blocked everywhere? He lives 3h away from me. We dont have the same social circles. I wanna add that i made a fake account and messaged him through it and he was telling her (me) that he actually felt resentment towards me which hurt to hear but like. I also know that he would never hate me. I know im the love of his life. I’m not sure if i’m desperate or delusional. Like i’m doubting sometimes but i also know that we’ll reconcile. Does that make sense? I keep having this calm feeling that its gonna work out for me which is why i rarely panic anymore. But then it does a 180 and i’ll be stressing, but not for too long.