Awareness on DV
Domestic violence awareness — things I didn’t realize could be abuse
A friend recently trusted me with information about what they’ve been going through. Hearing about it made me realize how many behaviors we can overlook or minimize when we don’t recognize them as abuse.
What stood out to me wasn’t just one incident, but the pattern of behavior:
repeatedly ignoring someone’s boundaries after they say no
pressuring someone into intimacy after they’ve made it clear they don’t want to
making someone feel like they owe you sex or affection
using someone’s financial situation or vulnerabilities against them
creating situations where someone feels isolated or unable to leave
using intimidation to get compliance
continuing to contact someone after they’ve asked for space
repeatedly showing up or finding ways to reach someone
making someone feel unsafe when they’re alone with you
minimizing, mocking, or dismissing the person’s feelings afterward
making the person question whether what happened was “really that bad”
I think one of the biggest misconceptions about domestic violence is that you have to see physical violence before you can call something abusive.
You don’t.
Coercion, intimidation, manipulation, controlling behavior, boundary violations, and persistent unwanted contact can all be serious warning signs.
What really stayed with me was hearing my friend describe things they had previously brushed off or rationalized. Sometimes you don’t recognize a pattern until you’re finally able to step back and look at everything together.
I’m sharing this for awareness, not to identify or expose anyone involved. Details have intentionally been left out.
If someone tells you they’re uncomfortable, scared, pressured, or feeling unsafe around their partner or former partner, listen to them. You don’t have to decide whether their experience is “bad enough” before taking them seriously.