u/Boring-Face-3361

I’m finding myself at a crossroads and was hoping to hear other people’s experience.

For context I’ve always been an anxious and depressed person. Back in uni I took several drugs (sertraline, fluoxetine, venlafaxine) to try and help with this with low and moderate success. The tapper off of them was horrible, received little warning from the doctors of the potential side effects so I swore myself off of taking any sort of AD ever again.

The past year has been incredibly difficult, suffering from burnout and going through a horrible life event so my anxiety flew sky high. It all came to head when I had a mental breakdown after which I experienced daily panic attacks which made me unable to sleep and eat. The doctors recommended Mirtazapine and I started taking 15mg. First month on this drug was pure hell with my anxiety getting worse by the day to the point which I had several depersonalisation/derealisation episodes. The doctors recommended waiting and giving the med time to work. I have experienced few phisical side effects aside from drowsiness but the mental side effects have been something else. Quite soon I started getting intrusive thoughts and getting stuck in thought loops. Aside from that I found that I get horribly depressed in the evenings and on lucky days only anhedonic. I’ve not been able to pick back up any of my hobbies and lost interest in almost everything. Even worse I realised that my feelings for my partner also got very dulled and distorted which again fueled my anxiety and intrusive thoughts, with my brain shouting that I’m lying and that he’s be better off without me.

I’ve recently mentioned this to my doctor and they’ve suggested increasing the dose to 30mg. Based on my previous experiences I know that tappering off from that dosage will be incredibly difficult, especially when I have to be present at my job. I’m also afraid that it will further dull my feelings. Even on good days I feel like I’m high and far from everything, having difficulty reading and finding myself staring at fixed points for minutes on end.

So this is my crossroads, do I take the jump to a higher dosage or accept that this medication might not be for me.

Has anyone experienced something similar on this drug? What did you decide to do?

Thank you!

I’m finding myself at a crossroads and was hoping to hear other people’s experience.

For context I’ve always been an anxious and depressed person. Back in college I took several drugs (sertraline, fluoxetine, venlafaxine) to try and help with this with low and moderate success. The tapper off of them was horrible, received little warning from the doctors of the potential side effects so I swore myself off of taking any sort of AD ever again.

The past year has been incredibly difficult, suffering from burnout and going through a horrible life event so my anxiety flew sky high. It all came to head when I had a mental breakdown after which I experienced daily panic attacks which made me unable to sleep and eat. The doctors recommended Mirtazapine and I started taking 15mg. First month on this drug was pure hell with my anxiety getting worse by the day to the point which I had several depersonalisation/derealisation episodes. The doctors recommended waiting and giving the med time to work. I have experienced few phisical side effects aside from drowsiness but the mental side effects have been something else. Quite soon I started getting intrusive thoughts and getting stuck in thought loops. Aside from that I found that I get horribly depressed in the evenings and on lucky days only anhedonic. I’ve not been able to pick back up any of my hobbies and lost interest in almost everything. Even worse I realised that my feelings for my partner also got very dulled and distorted which again fueled my anxiety and intrusive thoughts, with my brain shouting that I’m lying and that he’s be better off without me.

I’ve recently mentioned this to my doctor and they’ve suggested increasing the dose to 30mg. Based on my previous experiences I know that tappering off from that dosage will be incredibly difficult, especially when I have to be present at my job. I’m also afraid that it will further dull my feelings. Even on good days I feel like I’m high and far from everything, having difficulty reading and finding myself staring at fixed points for minutes on end.

So this is my crossroads, do I take the jump to a higher dosage or accept that this medication might not be for me.

Has anyone experienced something similar on this drug? What did you decide to do?

Thank you!

Edit: I’m also wondering if anyone experienced feeling the brain like a broken piece of glass and having difficulty holding on to coherent thoughts.