u/Boring_Kangaroo_5531

My headache go up and down in my over 3 years now I had so many moments where I thought okay now they will be finally over and than they come back..

There has to be a solution for us all, is there no way we can all somehow work together on finding a cure ??

I read that the nervous system is signaling pain even though there is nothing causing it, so somehow we need to convince our nervous system there is no pain ? Maybe I am thinking it’s that easy but I mean I guess everyone of us would be thankful having a 2nd life if they get cured because this is fucked up.

Is there anyone out here that have thought the same? Can we gather success stories (no reliefs, only 100% health) and somehow manage to find our way out of this!

Let’s come together and fight for our freedom of having 24/7 headache!!

So I had a very Bad time growing up with an abusive father who Beat me up probably every other week for misbehaving, adhd just made it worse..

I started smoking weed with 14 and hard drugs around 18. I was always paranoid getting long lasting damages and always read online about long term side effects. It got so Bad that I cant smoke weed anymore since 5-6 years and 3 years ago I became chronic head pain (every second of my life ever since)

I noticed over time I lost Trust in myself, i was always the kid trying my best and telling everyone that I will achieve so many things and yet I failed over a decade with the „easiest“ things. And now I came to realize I cant and wont achieve everything.

I am 27 now and Havent achieved anything, the sad Part is I lost myself trying to live up to my expecations (Probably Not mine but mostly my fathers)

And now I am Stuck with anxiety and mood swings everyday hoping everything will be okay one day. I biggest Problem is I lost my Trust in myself I think mainly because of the headaces which are Stuck with me 24/7 for 3 years now.. and the sad Part is, I have so many Problems in all Parts of my life, dating, carreer, friends, etc. Etc

I learned acceptance therapy, got therapy, medication etc. But nothing brings me the joy of life back. I moved country 4,5 years ago and I am always thinking if I go back to my Home Country were all my friends and Family are everything will be better but I left for a reason.. but yeah my base i missing .. I am left with me and myself and I never learned how to be me. I was on drugs for half my life .. I am wondering is there anyone with a similar story, I can look up to ?

So I grew up with a father who would beat and control every aspect of my life. He made always clear that we live beneath his foot.

I started doing drugs at around 14years mostly only weed till I turned 18 than harder stuff started mostly coco, molly and alcohol (mostly mixed alc with one other drug)

I started getting a panic attack always after smoking weed that probably pushed me to harder drugs.

I moved country in hope to stop. I would always be very motivated to stop to grind in life but always something would come and would hold me down. 3 years ago after months of being mostly clean (only alcohol like a few beers every other day) i was out partying with a mix of alc and other drugs I acquired chronic head pain called ndph ( ever since than I wake up in pain and go to sleep in pain 24/7 365 days)

It got better after time, because I started to train again, running and so on everything seemed to get good I was about to quit therapy due to feeling pretty good and also not having a proper therapy.

Well I started smoking weed again and August last year I turned my self into psycho clinic because I was 100% sure I am just an eye blink before a psychosis.

At the end I stayed 6 months, I got diagnosed with adhd, hypervigilanz, ocd and definitely trauma (probably cptbs) well I left in January lived in an awful shared appartment was about to turn myself in again due to my flatmates being absolute ….. and now I work as an fitness instructor for 3 months, finished my fitness licenses and live in such a nice area with pretty cool people.

From the outside people would tell me, you live such a cool live. I feel still so bad, I feel bit better but overall the score is still bad. Also I took some drugs, alc again. If I would listen to this voice to much I would have ended in clinic again but I feel like I felt so bad so often that I don’t fall for my inner monologue so quickly anymore. But yeah I feel like it’s just a matter of time till I fall down maybe even harder than before. I have no close friends here whom I meet regularly I feel pretty alone I have no girlfriend etc.

People always tell me that I look good and I have so much potential but I am chronically tired of life and nothing seems to work, I start trauma therapy this Friday let’s see how it goes. I feel like my biggest problem is my inner monologue, i never feel safe, i can’t relax, i am 24/7 activated.. out of my group I was definitely never the one who would take the most drugs but I feel like I did twice as much according to how fucked up I feel. I wish since months for a day where I can say today was okay and also than I am scared that in an eye blink it can turn into feeling the worst ever again…

So I am genuinely asking myself will I ever manage to break out of this cycle??