u/BothConstruction2644

I started my first IVF round rather suddenly and have received injection for 7 days. when traveling back to my hometown outside the U.S. under huge pressure related to my age 46, family expectations, and the fact that I had not had any natural opportunity for pregnancy with my partner for many years. I like children and often imagine what it would be like if I had a kid of my own, and how I would love them and help guide them as they grow. Some my family members, mainly my parents, to some degrees, fallen into depression or emotional distress because I have not been able to reach the expectation of having children. I carry a deep sense of guilt toward them and often feel that I have let them down.

Everything happened extremely quickly and without careful consideration. Last week on the second day of my period, I completed fertility testing in local medical center because I had planned to share the results with fertility doctors in the U.S. whom I intended to consult. My hope was to explore whether I may still have a small chance in the U.S. If I were fortunate to succeed, I thought I may eventually consider surrogacy because of my declining health and my concerns about carrying a pregnancy close to the age of 50.

I was introduced to a very well experienced doctor by a friend, an insider. There are a big number of patients at the hospital, and the doctors here simply do not have enough time to communicate carefully with each person. Every visit is very very brief, sometimes a few words If you ask too many questions, the doctors may become impatient or feel that you are being difficult.

During my first appointment, the doctor ordered blood tests. I asked what the next step would be since my period was about to start, and she simply told me to come back once my period began. A few days later, when my period came, I returned to the hospital and had my follicles checked. I had 8 and sent the results to the doctor but received no response.

On the third day of my period, I became worried that there might be additional tests or timing issues I was missing, so I contacted the doctor again. Only then did she review my results and suddenly tell me to hurry and complete the registration process, got the medications and needles, and begin the injections immediately. Otherwise, the follicles might develop unevenly.

At that point, there were only one or two hours left before the hospital closed for the day. Everything happened extremely suddenly, and I had to make a major decision very quickly. I had already read a large amount of negative information online for old women and became terrified that if I did not start immediately, I may be on the verge of menopause and lose whatever small opportunity I still had. I felt that I may not have time consulting different doctors or carefully searching for a better path. In an extremely short period of time, I struggled with the decision, and in the end, I started the injection. I even didn’t know what plan the doctor made for me? I quickly asked if it would be mini stimuli. she said no because that would not effective.

I guess maybe the doctor felt that my blood test results and 8 egg count were still not bad for my age and strongly encouraged me to begin injections immediately on the second day of my cycle. but we never had such discussion. Although my AMH had dropped compared to last year, it was still considered to be in relatively reasonable condition for someone my age. I was shocked by the decline though and felt that I probably have to take action soon.

This is my first IVF round, and so far the results not too bad for someone who is 46 years old. But as the process moved forward from the second day and later days, I gradually realized that I am emotionally and physically unable to handle the stress of pregnancy at an age close to 50 (given the assumption that I am very lucky), particularly when I think about my worsening health and my preexisting anxiety and depression. If this process were ever successful, I would need the support of a surrogate mother

Unfortunately, surrogacy is completely prohibited in my hometown, where I am currently receiving treatment, and there is absolutely no practical way to transfer my case elsewhere at this stage. I have barely been able to sleep, have lost my appetite, and have quickly lost two pounds because of the stress.

The pressure has continued to grow as treatment progresses. After a week of injections, I feel that I can no longer cope mentally or emotionally, yet there is no realistic way to reduce or stop the medication because the doctor’s primary focus is maximizing egg production and preserving egg quality. Many people got involved and helped me in this process. I feel trapped in a situation with no real choice. I carefully asked the doctor if there would be any significant hurt, and the doctor answered I should only focus on this round and I have too many questions.

I have developed physical symptoms of anxiety. I live in a constant state of fear and panic. I cannot sleep properly or sleep for very long. Each morning I wake up overwhelmed by intense psychological pressure, and it becomes difficult even to get out of bed. My entire body feels exhausted and weak, and I can barely eat. There are also many complicated social relationships, expectations, and forms of assistance involved in this process, which make it extremely difficult for me to step away from treatment.

At my age, I also do not know whether my hormone levels and ultrasound results would remain stable after the hormonal stimulation and egg retrieval process if I attempted another round in the future. Continuing this round feels as though it is harming my body and my already aging ovaries. The idea of inserting needles after two days into my ovaries and retrieving the eggs feels terrifying to me. I am deeply afraid that after the retrieval process, my ovaries will no longer recover well or function the same way again. The whole process feels physically and emotionally overwhelming to me. At my age, repeating IVF cycles is not a small matter but a big physical burden. I am deeply afraid that after this round, my ovaries and uterus may already be affected by the hormonal stimulation and egg retrieval process, and that my response could decline further afterward. Even if I later manage to reach what I believe would be a more appropriate or realistic path, it may already be too late for my body for it to truly help.

I apologize if my thoughts seem disorganized. I’m very upset and I don’t know what to do.

I started my first IVF round rather suddenly and have received injection for 7 days. when traveling back to my hometown outside the U.S. under huge pressure related to my age 46, family expectations, and the fact that I had not had any natural opportunity for pregnancy with my partner for many years. I like children and often imagine what it would be like if I had a kid of my own, and how I would love them and help guide them as they grow. Some my family members, mainly my parents, to some degrees, fallen into depression or emotional distress because I have not been able to reach the expectation of having children. I carry a deep sense of guilt toward them and often feel that I have let them down.

Everything happened extremely quickly and without careful consideration. Last week on the second day of my period, I completed fertility testing in local medical center because I had planned to share the results with fertility doctors in the U.S. whom I intended to consult. My hope was to explore whether I may still have a small chance in the U.S. If I were fortunate to succeed, I thought I may eventually consider surrogacy because of my declining health and my concerns about carrying a pregnancy close to the age of 50.

I was introduced to a very well experienced doctor by a friend, an insider. There are a big number of patients at the hospital, and the doctors here simply do not have enough time to communicate carefully with each person. Every visit is very very brief, sometimes a few words If you ask too many questions, the doctors may become impatient or feel that you are being difficult.

During my first appointment, the doctor ordered blood tests. I asked what the next step would be since my period was about to start, and she simply told me to come back once my period began. A few days later, when my period came, I returned to the hospital and had my follicles checked. I had 8 and sent the results to the doctor but received no response.

On the third day of my period, I became worried that there might be additional tests or timing issues I was missing, so I contacted the doctor again. Only then did she review my results and suddenly tell me to hurry and complete the registration process, got the medications and needles, and begin the injections immediately. Otherwise, the follicles might develop unevenly.

At that point, there were only one or two hours left before the hospital closed for the day. Everything happened extremely suddenly, and I had to make a major decision very quickly. I had already read a large amount of negative information online for old women and became terrified that if I did not start immediately, I may be on the verge of menopause and lose whatever small opportunity I still had. I felt that I may not have time consulting different doctors or carefully searching for a better path. In an extremely short period of time, I struggled with the decision, and in the end, I started the injection. I even didn’t know what plan the doctor made for me? I quickly asked if it would be mini stimuli. she said no because that would not effective.

I guess maybe the doctor felt that my blood test results and 8 egg count were still not bad for my age and strongly encouraged me to begin injections immediately on the second day of my cycle. but we never had such discussion. Although my AMH had dropped compared to last year, it was still considered to be in relatively reasonable condition for someone my age. I was shocked by the decline though and felt that I probably have to take action soon.

This is my first IVF round, and so far the results not too bad for someone who is 46 years old. But as the process moved forward from the second day and later days, I gradually realized that I am emotionally and physically unable to handle the stress of pregnancy at an age close to 50 (given the assumption that I am very lucky), particularly when I think about my worsening health and my preexisting anxiety and depression. If this process were ever successful, I would need the support of a surrogate mother

Unfortunately, surrogacy is completely prohibited in my hometown, where I am currently receiving treatment, and there is absolutely no practical way to transfer my case elsewhere at this stage. I have barely been able to sleep, have lost my appetite, and have quickly lost two pounds because of the stress.

The pressure has continued to grow as treatment progresses. After a week of injections, I feel that I can no longer cope mentally or emotionally, yet there is no realistic way to reduce or stop the medication because the doctor’s primary focus is maximizing egg production and preserving egg quality. Many people got involved and helped me in this process. I feel trapped in a situation with no real choice. I carefully asked the doctor if there would be any significant hurt, and the doctor answered I should only focus on this round and I have too many questions.

I have developed physical symptoms of anxiety. I live in a constant state of fear and panic. I cannot sleep properly or sleep for very long. Each morning I wake up overwhelmed by intense psychological pressure, and it becomes difficult even to get out of bed. My entire body feels exhausted and weak, and I can barely eat. There are also many complicated social relationships, expectations, and forms of assistance involved in this process, which make it extremely difficult for me to step away from treatment.

At my age, I also do not know whether my hormone levels and ultrasound results would remain stable after the hormonal stimulation and egg retrieval process if I attempted another round in the future. Continuing this round feels as though it is harming my body and my already aging ovaries. The idea of inserting needles after two days into my ovaries and retrieving the eggs feels terrifying to me. I am deeply afraid that after the retrieval process, my ovaries will no longer recover well or function the same way again. The whole process feels physically and emotionally overwhelming to me. At my age, repeating IVF cycles is not a small matter but a big physical burden. I am deeply afraid that after this round, my ovaries and uterus may already be affected by the hormonal stimulation and egg retrieval process, and that my response could decline further afterward. Even if I later manage to reach what I believe would be a more appropriate or realistic path, it may already be too late for my body for it to truly help.

I apologize if my thoughts seem disorganized. I’m very upset and I don’t know what to do.