u/Both_Target_6332

I truly loved you.

Stupidly, I still do and I always will.

I didn't need love to be a fairytale.

I just wanted it to be us.

I wish you had fought for me.

But you didn't even say a single word.

Says it all.

I feel worthless.

My heart is aching.

I want to cry.

You are a cruel, heartless, pathetic little man.

From now on...

Earn your own money.

Buy your own food.

Suck your own dick.

Because I'm finally done with you.

Bye bye 👋

I feel overwhelmed by everything and just want to run away from all this and come over there to you.

I keep looking into ways of scraping enough money together to just up and move away, buy some land for us.

I wish I could come now, I miss you, and I hate my life here without you.

There's so much pressure on me at the moment, and I feel like giving up, don't even have enough energy or motivation to do any cleaning. I feel depressed and low and can't wait for the day I can say goodbye to this shit hole.

I'm fed up of everything and everybody and I just want to be with you, away from it all.

In one hand, if I stay another 12 months, I can save the money I need to come over and possibly buy us our own place. In the other hand, I just want to leave it all behind now, and never come back, and just take it day by day to see where life takes us and where we end up. Either way, I'd just be happy to be together.

I wish I could talk to you about this, I need you to tell me it's going to be okay and to remind me that it's only another 12 months and to encourage me to carry on and get through this, and reassure me that it will all be worth it in the end.

Or I wish you'd just tell me you love me and can't spend another day without me and tell me to start packing up and selling my shit and get my arse over there to you so we can spend our lives together, properly this time, no going back.

I feel lost and out of my depth. I am trying to stay afloat but struggling to tread water at the moment.

I can't wait to come over to see you soon. I hope you realise how much I want only you. Maybe you don't realise how much I truly need you, I am good at pretending I don't, but I do.

It's hard being away from you every day, and pretending I'm doing okay when I'm not. It's even harder trying to juggle and deal with all of this on my own. I just want to lie on your chest with your arms around me while you kiss my head and tickle my back or play with my hair and make me feel safe again.

I need a hug from you so much. I need a kiss from you so much. I need you inside me so much. I just need you right now.

It's okay if you do. But it's not okay if you lie to me about it. I just need to know. Because I know you did love her, you said you didn't, but I could tell that you really did. So do you still love her now? Do you wish you were still together? Do you miss her? Do you wish it was still her in your life and not me?

I hope you know that.

Bye Ryan.

I'm sorry. I was just mad at you and hurt from feeling used by you.

I say a lot of things I don't mean when I'm angry or hurt.

You know I'm still here. I'm always fucking here for you.

I just want you to care.

Do you actually not care?

If you do, why don't you show it?

I don't get you.

It's like the more I try for you the more you push me away.

I don't know what to do any more. I'm lost right now.

I wish you'd just fucking message me. And not because you want something or need something. Just because you miss me and want to speak to me.

The more days pass by, the more I feel like you must not actually care about me at all. Not even enough just to check in to say hi or to see how I'm doing.

I feel stupid for sitting here, constantly checking my whatsapp to see if you've messaged, already knowing that you haven't.

I keep opening our chat hoping I'll suddenly see a random message from you. But nothing. Still nothing.

Do you really not care? At all?

Why don't you care?

I feel shit over here. And I miss you.

Just message me please. If you want to. 😑

You literally text me for one thing yesterday. Money.

And because I didn't have any to give you, you haven't spoken to me since.

Not even to ask if I'm alright. Or just to say hi.

What a surprise 🙄

I regret ever meeting you. Or letting you into my life.

Should have listened to my gut, my family, and my friends, 4 years ago.

You have only ever taken from me and left me with nothing.

I don't even have enough money to buy milk or bread or petrol. Nevermind my bills.

I already gave you all of my wages I made over the weekend. But that still wasn't enough, you still asked for more yesterday. I literally had 3 quid left, and still offered it you. Because I care more about you than I do myself. And you can't even pretend to care about me enough to just say hello or ask how my day has been. Lol.

I'm the one working 7 days a week, while completing uni assignments, while trying to keep on top of my house work, while looking after 2 animals, while dealing with a shit family situation, while trying to keep myself sane and remain positive enough to help other people with mental health issues, while breaking myself physically, mentally, and financially to support you.

And yet, apparently you're the one struggling with juggling too much at the moment.

Okay.

🤦🏼‍♀️

You can go fuck yourself from now on. I'm over your bullshit.

Get a job and look after yourself from now on dick head.

Waiting for you to care over here.

🫩😑

She's been clinging on for over 16 hours.

I managed to get her to drink some sugar water, I've warmed her up, I've been trying my best for 16 hours to get this poor little thing to live.

She's barely breathing, barely holding on.

And I feel helpless.

I'm gutted for her.

😭

And I think it's finally happening.

I'm finally learning to unlove you.

Been a long time coming.

Will be over it soon.

Thank goodness.