I increased my sertraline dose and I feel like I lost my life again
I recently upped my sertraline dosage from 50mg to 75mg and the side effects have been terrible. I haven’t been able to make it to class since, and it’s been a week now.
Yesterday I managed to go to the grocery store once with my sister and once alone. Usually I go there every day as part of my routine and to challenge myself a little, but now even that feels hard. Today I only made it to the entrance before I had to turn around and go home. I literally live right next to the store too.
I don’t even really know what I want from this post. I’m just tired of this. There are so many things I want to do and places I want to go, but right now I feel completely stuck. Usually I try not to get too upset over my anxiety because I know bad days happen, but this feels different. I can’t go to class at all right now and it sucks because I actually want to be there. I used to wish I could skip class, and now every morning I stand at the entrance of my apartment building trying to force myself to step outside, but I just can’t do it. Yesterday I even cried over it, which I almost never do.
It’s also hard watching my friends go on trips or just casually go out and do things. I’m genuinely happy for them, but at the same time I wish I could do those things too, or at least join sometimes. Especially now during spring when there are so many fun things happening. I just feel like I’m missing out on so much because of my anxiety and agoraphobia, and I’m so exhausted by it.
Hopefully I get used to this dosage soon because I just want my life back.