u/BreakfastQuick92

My dad took his own life when I was very young, but I was old enough to have watched him play the cello every day of my life. I tried to learn the cello after his death but it made me too sad so I picked up piano instead. I’ve been playing for like ten years, I do recitals and competitions and it has become my entire identity. I took out a loan from my mom to go to a private high school focused on the arts. My entire life is music, I have no other hobbies, I never get bored of the piano.

But in the past few weeks my hearing has become really bad. I was born with a lot of problems. I forgot that becoming deaf was one of the risks I’m always at. Doctor confirmed that I am indeed going deaf. I’m so fucking miserable, Spotify has been playing on my computer nonstop since I found out because any day now I’ll wake up and be completely deaf. I have spent hours trying to memorize every detail about every one of my favorite songs but there’s no point because I’m eventually going to forget it. Oh and im also going blind but I don’t give a fuck about that, if it was just blind I could deal with it because I don’t need to see to be able to play. But what about I supposed to do now??? I feel so miserable and depressed. I wanted to go Juilliard. My dad went to Juilliard. Now I’m going to go nowhere because I don’t have anything else and I love music so much I don’t want to live in silence for the rest of my life

Hi, I have been playing the violin since fifth grade. In high school freshman year I joined our school’s advanced orchestra and was in it for three years. Now I’m an upcoming senior and considering dropping it to take an AP statistics class (there is only one period for orchestra and three for AP statistics but the rest of my schedule would only allow me to take the period of stats that coincides with orchestra). Im not sure if this would affect my application in any way (I plan on applying to competitive schools, mostly likely ED to Cornell). I was not in a super high chair any of the three years, always second violin (section leader for sophomore and junior year). I participated in a selective outside of school orchestra my freshman year but quit after one year. Anybody know if this is a bad idea to drop the class? Would it stand out as inconsistency on my application? I don’t feel strongly towards orchestra or stats, it’s not like I am super passionate about either, so my decision only relies on the answer to this question. Thanks!