u/Bright-Parking-1905

I (28M) have given my family business 10 years and I’m financially dependent on this business while my girlfriend (27F) works a remote job.
I expanded our business out of the country as well, now someone between my dad and I has to stay in India and someone has to stay away for 7-8 months.
I come from an upper middle class family with decent resources and money. My gf comes from a not so well to do family in terms of money. So, there was a difference which we didn’t mind, but my parents couldn’t let go.
After 2 years into the relationship, we told our parents about each other, and they approved of us. My parents were a little more cautious if my gf is only interested in me because of our money. We made our mothers meet, it was a huge disaster. My mom came across as very strict, rigid, not wanting to talk a lot. Her mom came across as little narcissistic, what she does is always right, she has to consult her extended family on every small decision. There was a clear mismatch between the social and family backgrounds. We convinced our parents more, started visiting each other houses and finally they agreed. My parents have strong religious beliefs and her are more liberal, so my parents consulted 2-3 astrologer/pandit ji who all said to be wary of this relationship, our kundlis and her don’t match, She has Mangal and I don’t. I told my parents they cant guarantee my happiness with someone else, I can guarantee it with her. So after letting go of many belief systems such as kundli, social status, etc.
Date of engagement and wedding was fixed. My family and I told them not to worry, and we would sponsor the whole thing. During the engagement, things didn’t go as well enough as per my parents wanted. Since we both have different social circles, my mom wanted everything to be presentable in such manner, and her mom just wanted to do things for the sake of it and not being considerate how my family and social circles would view them as. What my mom expected was small things and changes which would had cost less than 5k. There are many things considered inauspicious in our home which her mother did.
My mother told this to her mother. Her mother instead of understanding, blamed my mother for expecting too much. Things got heated between them and my gf jumped in their conversation and told my mom that this is the best they could have done, if she’s expecting too much, she can’t continue this relationship and is ready to break the engagement. My mom got deeply hurt, this felt like an insult, disrespect and being ungrateful.
The engagement broke off.
The only solution I could give everyone was I would need 1 year to separate from this business, I can then start from 0, get a job, rent a house and she’d also have to get a job and make this work.
My parents have forbidden me to see her anymore. My gf told me that since this didn’t work out our way, now she has to follow her mother’s wishes, and her mother want me to ask my parents to come to their house and apologize if I want to save this relationship. I can agree that mistakes, misunderstanding and miscommunication were made from everyone involved.
I feel like I am the only one trying to still salvage an irreconcilable situation. Everyone made their decisions already.
We both deeply loved each other, but my gf blames everything on my mother and wishes revenge on her now. My family and friends warned me If I get back with her, no one will be happy including us and I now I cannot trust her if the anger will subside, or after marrying her will she do something to take revenge. Am i too delusional for wanting to risk everything, mostly my family and their peace for her? Everyone tells me I do not know what my gf is capable of doing, and I still feel that she’s not like that, that’s not the person I fell in love and spent 3.5 years with.

We’re from the different castes and financial backgrounds but same city, culture. We share deep understanding and affection.
We had been dating for almost 3.5 Years. After 2 Years into the relationship when we both told our parents. Initially there was some friction, and slowly gradually we worked our way through that. She came to my house, met my family and then I went to her house and met her family.
Everything went well. Both our families liked us.
Things went wrong the day both our mothers met. The tension in the room was visible of each of their faces. After that meeting I could say my mom could bear her mom. She told me that what triggers her is the inability of my partners mom to understand and her holier than thou attitude.
I asked my partner about what her mother thought, she said her mom didn’t like the rigidness and inflexibility of my mother. That meeting was a huge disaster. There were more unsaid things that both our moms felt.
We talked to our parents and for our happiness they agreed this relationship and marriage.
Got a pandit ji involved, and the pandit ji told my parent this relationship is very unlikely to work. She has Mangal and I don’t. Some rituals and things need to be performed.
We got engaged, a huge step for both of us. Everyone was happy except my mother because many things didn’t go as per our rituals in terms of what is considered auspicious and being respectful in marwadi culture.
My mom called her mother and told her what went wrong, her mom denied everything in her holier and thou behaviour. Everyone’s emotion ran high, my mom got angry and her tone got more hostile because her mom not only wouldn’t understand but blame my mom for not instructing her well enough. The conversation ended on a bitter note.
Next day I had to join my business the next day, I left believing that both our parents are adults, emotions are running high but with some time and patience, these situations can be resolved.
My mom her called mom the next day, to explain things again.
Here there are 2 versions, my mom says she talked calmly and before completing her first sentence my partner jumped in. My partner that the previous day only her tone changed but the next day my mom started shouting and yelling and she stepped in their conversation and told my mom if you have so many problems, I can’t continue this relationship or arrangement and she can watch anyone talk to her mother in such tone. Things got ugly to fast. Engagement happened, the next day I left for my work, the day after right after my flight landed, things got ended.
I had 2 options, leave my parents or leave my partner.
I wanted to work on a middle ground, give everyone some time and space to analyze. My parent told choosing my partner would mean I’d have to leave them. My partner told me only on one condition she can consider marrying me, if my parents come to their house and apologize. I would have been happy to live separately, work a job, but somewhere my partner developed a feeling of vengeance towards my parents.

TLDR
1.I dated a very beautiful soul for 3.5 years, got parents involved, got engaged, parents didn’t like each others family, and we tried to make it work.
2. Parents saw major issues with each other families and couldn’t understand and handle the situation, ended up having to call off the engagement.
3. We both have parted ways, we fought other each taking sides of families, instead of being a team.
4. There are so many things that everyone involved could have done differently, How do I deal with the feeling of regret on things and situations that I could have done or handled differently.