u/Bright_One_2377

I'm seeing things that are there...

Particularly shadows moving in the corner of my eye, human eyes staring at me when it's dark. Sometimes I feel something graze my skin when there's nothing there or I feel as though something is crawling in my hair. And for the past weeks, I've been quite "paranoid" for a lack of a better term, not as in an official diagnosis but I feel as though I'm always in danger.

So far I haven't been taking it seriously at all, joking that I might have schizophrenia or "how long will it take for me to schizo a girlfriend" or dumb jokes like that...

In a self destructive way, I want it to be schizophrenia, I want it to get worse. I've tried suicide alot of times, sought help, no one ever takes me seriously. So in a messed up way I hope whatever this is can finally make someone take me seriously...

There's also the factor that I'll be exempted from Mandatory ROTC if that law ever passes, hurray~

It's messed up, I know it's wrong to hope for this...

I'm only 17, and it feels like my life is already over, what the hell...

Idk, just wanted to vent I guess...