r/MentalHealthPH

Hello. I'm 26M, have a pretty good job, contribute to the bills in the house, and still live with my parents. Currently on antidepressants but I'm also trying to wean off of it.

My partner was diagnosed with a kidney illness this year that might require a bit of an assistance and routine hospital visits. I sometimes stay with her during these visits not because she asks me to, but because I genuinely want to be there for her. And because I also enjoy spending time with her!

Last night, my parents told me we needed to talk. I was just about to get dinner before being abruptly stopped. Usap lang raw sabi ng mom ko.

"Tara usap muna tayo." my dad said.

The conversation was first about my future plans before escalating suddenly about my relationship. At first they asked me what my plans are for the future.

They asked if I still have plans to go to Canada, when I would be doing it, etc. Then they kept asking me what my plans were with my girlfriend and whether I was serious about marrying her. I kept answering honestly: I don't know yet. That's the whole point of dating.

They repeatedly told me they didn't want me to marry her because of her illness. They said they liked her, but they didn't want me to be tied down or make her my responsibility. They also kept pushing me to go to Canada and said I was heading down the wrong path by choosing a life that would be more difficult.

They kept asking, "What's your plan?" over and over, but I genuinely don't know what my life will look like years from now. They took that as me being close-minded or irresponsible.

Eventually they said stuff that "I'm not being aggressive anymore." That I "changed". Honestly, the only change I did at the start of the year was pushing for more autonomy for myself. I've always wanted to be more independent because I believe I've been heavily sheltered growing up. But they took this the wrong way saying that I "changed".

They also kept pushing me toward going to Canada. I told them that whenever I picture myself moving there, I imagine being miserable for years. One thing to say is hindi ko naenjoy yung youth ko kasi puro aral lang ang ginawa ko. Gumaan gaan lang pakiramdam ko nung nagkatrabaho na ako. Mahirap kumuha ng masters sa Canada alam ko. And I can already see myself spending away a few years of my life overseas trying to build and stress from scratch.

My dad's response was basically, "Ganun talaga."

They kept on asking me the same question over and over again.

"Papakasalan mo na ba? Gusto mo bang pakasalan?"

And I keep on saying in return na hindi ko alam!

"Huwag mong buntisin."

"Hanggang diyan nalang kayo."

"Di porke nasarapan ka na sa sex yan na yun. May mga istorya na hiniwalayan yung isa kasi mas nagustuhan yung ibang partner."

???????

I don't even know where to begin... We're not even a year into the relationship yet! But after answering like that they immediately equate it to a yes. Not saying a "no" means a yes to them.

So I got frustrated and asked them ano ba gusto nila marinig sa akin.

They argue that they're not trying to control me, that they're acknowledging that I'm already an adult and the best they can do is just give "guidance". But everything seemed less of a guidance and more of an interrogation demanding a specific answer that they wanted to hear.

When I said this my dad kept on raising his voice saying:

"Edi pakasalan mo na siya! Dun ka na!"

"Buksan mo isip mo ha? Wag kang closed minded!"

He then attempted physically drilling his pointing finger towards my temple. Of course ayoko ng ganun. So hinahawi ko gently yung kamay niya.

"Wag mo ko hawakan dad," sabi ko.

This then enraged him for some reason.

"Paki mo kung hawakan kita anong gagawin mo?!"

Everything suddenly steamrolled and my dad became physical. He grabbed and hit me while saying things like:

"Wag mo kong sasabihan na wag kitang hawakan!"

"Suntukin kita diyan eh tarantado!"

"Pwede kitang gulpihin kung gusto ko!!!"

So while that was happening my mom was crying and trying to shield me by embracing me. But then he REALLY tried his best to get some hits in. So dinibdiban niya ko, hinampas sa likod ng ulo, sinuntok sa gilid ng mukha.

All the while I stayed motionless. I was just really... tired and disappointed sa nangyayari...

After that, I acknowledged that the discourse and talks have broken down. So for a solid 20-30 minutes I just remained silent and was forced to nod and agree along the stuff that they've been saying.

It was never planned to be a discussion to begin with. They one-sidedly ganged up on me and threw their sentiments towards me, expecting me to just swallow everything up.

After everything calmed down, my dad said he didn't regret it.

He then said he became physical kasi nagalit sila kasi sarado raw isip ko. He also argued na "lalaki" siya kaya wag ko raw siya sabihan ng ganun.

"Wag mo sakin gagamitin yang talino mo!"

"Huwag kang magmataas ng tingin sa sarili mo o isipin na matalino ka!"

"Buti nang nangyari yung nangyari kasi di niya maiintindihan kung hindi. Wala akong pakialam kung di niya ko pansinin basta naintindihan niya lang sinabi ko!"

It didn't. It just made me resent him even more.

I understand that my parents are worried about my future, but I feel like they're trying to make decisions that belong to me. They argue that they're just there "gently" trying to guide me but their actions speak otherwise.

They can give advice, but I don't think they get to decide who I date or marry, or demand that I already have my entire life planned out. I get their sentiments, but it is my life to choose my joys, risks, and sacrifices.

"Nanghhula kami anak. Di namin alam yung plano mo para sa future. Di ka nga nanghhingi ng advice samin."

"Gusto lang namin maayos buhay mo."

...?

Huh?

Hindi ko dapat kailangan sabihin lahat ng plano ko sa buhay. Gusto ko rin ng privacy para sa sarili ko. Also hindi ako nanghhingi ng advice kasi either hindi equipped or experiences kayo sa mga bagay na yun, o alam ko na na sobrang traditional niyo mag-isip.

Well I plan on moving out now because of this lol. I also might've planted a seed of grudge na mahirap hirap mahukay paalis.

I barely post stuff like this kaya I know pangit ng storytelling but... I just really wanted to get this out of my system. I felt so hurt, humiliated, and frustrated afterwards... Then maybe cried for a bit... Then ate a blueberry muffin lol.

Thank you for reading my long spiel I guess! I might delete this in a bit maybe. I might still be a bit shocked with what happened and I really don't know how to process it. It just... sucks. Sumama lang yung loob ko sa nangyari.

Its been almost half a year, and suddenly I feel a huge burst of fatigue.

I tried to distract myself by gaming and going out to the grocery, but I feel like I've been kinda spacing out with my mind constantly replaying the situation. I cant distract myself as much as I do the things I want to do... I keep remembering vividly the things he did to me, even though the past few months I thought I forgot it all. I just kept remembering the way I walked home alone after he forced me down that night; in the end, I felt confused, and I kept questioning my relationship with my bf, who is now my ex for 6 months now btw.

Its like all of a sudden i'm having a delayed trauma response to it??? i'm so confused cause its been months. Its about to be 2 days and i'm scared it might affect my academics. I'm scared for the worst because most of the time, when things get heavy I struggle to pick myself back up for months, and then feel okay again. It's like an on and off kind of situation that scares and confuses me because I really thought I'm okay now. :(

Everything is so expensive na. As in MORE expensive than ever. Bibili ka lang ng tubig. 15 pesos pagkaliit liit naman na bote. Mga pagkain ang mamahal. Buko juice ng Fruitas 95 pesos? ang OA sa presyo ng mga bilihin talaga. Yung may sahod ka nga pero hindi naman nakakabuhay. Hindi rin tugma sa hirap ng trabaho. At dahil sa hindi ko na keri ang mga presyo, nababalewala ko na ang mental health needs ko. Lumalala na naman ang mental health ko. Bumabalik na ang depresyon ko pero hindi ko talaga afford ang psych o therapy. Pati gamot hindi. Nakakalungkot lang. Nakakatamad at nakakawalang ganang bumili ng kahit ano. Hindi talaga sapat ang kita ko at alam ko hindi lang ako ang namomroblema. Yung pakiramdam na hindi na lang kakain. Magpapagutom na lang. Yung pakiramdam na magtitiis na lang sa iniindang sakit at wag nang magpakonsulta. Napakahirap mabuhay ngayon. Honestly gusto ko na lang mawala 😂 even the world doesn't make any sense to me right now. I feel like we are all just robots.

Pressure is everywhere. Work, career, community service group. Di ko na kaya. I'm super overwhelmed. Yet I have no one to talk to. I feel so alone. Natatakot akong kumilos feeling ko magsasayang lang ako ng oras na gawin ang isang bagay. When I do one thing, iisipin ko na sinasayang ko lang ang oras ko and I should be doing another. I'm having trouble now thinking what to do next. Gusto ko ng kausap. I feel so alone. :-( Super duper overwhelmed na rin right now physically

What else, if not? I am not professionally diagnosed, but there was a time that i did try to self-diagnose just to understand myself better. Hindi naman ako masyado nagdwell sa results, in my mind, as long as I can manage keri naman.

Ngayon, what bothers me is yung pagiging makakalimutin. Medyo bright naman ako nung kabataan ko (I'm in my early 30s now). I don't know if it's even worth mentioning na consistent honor student ako ever since, pero kasi meron naman na bumabawi sa later chapters in life - ang point ko lang siguro ay I can say na I "have" a good memory. Pero parang natunaw utak ko.

Like, when other people are talking about general info, sa isip ko alam ko to. Pero hindi ako agad nakakasabay. Kahit mga recent conversations lang na binabalikan... kailangan ko pa hukayin sa utak ko yung mga bagay. Kung may mga nagstick, usually yung mga panget na experience o memory. Parang may VIP seat sila sa utak ko.

Gusto ko lang naman na bumalik yung dating memory ko. Kaya pa ba to? Minsan natatakot ako, feeling ko nagsisimula na Alzheimer's sakin kahit nasa trenta pa lang ako.

Hi! I'm someone who is chronically ill and spends my days inside the house. Lahat na ata ng mga hobbies na pwede kong gawin inside the house nagawa ko na hehe. Asking if there is any low energy requirement things na pwedeng gawin outside (aside from malls) in Manila? TYIA!

hi, can anyone recommend po saan okay to take psychological assessment preferably within metro manila/online?
im having a hard time choosing between argao psych, niche psychological services, and ateneo bulatao.

appreciate any thoughts/reco thanks!

edit: spelling

i have the strong urge to kms rn. i was traumatized on my first psych exp since she was homophobic so im looking for a psych around calamba sana or kahit online nalamg basta safe space for a transwoman

hi, just like what the title says, what are the chances of coffee triggering hypomania?

the reason i'm asking is because i've drank 3 cups of coffee and i only got less than 5 hrs of sleep within the past 48 hrs.

last year, i was diagnosed with bipolar 2 and even up to now i still don't believe i have it. i even stopped taking risperidone to stay awake to trigger hypomania but nothing is happening.

“Slay girl! Go get what you want!”

This is what some people would tell me. And for a long time, I thought I did know what I want. I was in a hoe phase for 4 years, after all.

I’m now in my early 30s. And in those 4 years, what have I learned from my hoe phase?

I learned how to write an eye-catching post on the PH hookup subreddit. I learned where to buy affordable lingerie online. I learned men actually liked the body I thought was ugly for years. I learned how to quickly discard people and to feel ok after being discarded myself. I learned my favorite part about sex was the tension before the clothes come off, and the kissing. I learned it all ended more quickly if I pretended to cum.

What I didn’t know I learned until much later: that I became convinced I was only as good as the sex I gave.

After a healthier/more wholesome dating experience, much heartbreak, and lots of therapy, I was forced to confront things: my anxious attachment. My consistent self-doubt. It had all come from a low sense of self-worth since childhood. Oh, I also was diagnosed with ADHD at 29 so there’s that too lol.

I believed I turned to hookups out of ‘boredom’ but it was actually far from that. In reality, I had internalized that my personality and looks alone weren’t enough for anyone. I would chase the dopamine hit brought on by the feeling of being desired. Forget the slow burn of a normal date—hookups were fast and they were easy. I did it over and over again even when my gut said no. And yet despite it all, this was my subconscious hope every time: “Maybe if they have sex with me and I show how much I want it, they will eventually love me.”

The last time I had a one night stand was one year ago. And just last month I had my heart broken by someone I dated intentionally for a few months, a man who saw me beyond my body. I wanted to keep him more than anyone I have ever dated.

I am still reeling from that heartbreak. But I would rather carry this pain from grief of loving than continue the cycle of sleeping around to numb the pain of loneliness. I am honestly so proud of myself for finally realizing it.

Today, I am continuously learning that I am enough as I am. I still do not completely believe it, honestly. But it is in closer reach now. Little by little. After all, love does take time.

I was having a hard time and no one I could vent out with my problems, eventually dark thoughts filled in. I have decided to call this suicide hotline for once. The call took 40 minutes, and it helped me. I cried all my pain throughout that call, I was heard and supported by a real person instead of A.I.. I know, at the end of the call my problems won't go away that easily, but it gave me some sort of relief and courage to continue.

Bakit parang may mga pagkakataon na kailangan mong pigilan ang sarili mong ngumiti o maging masaya dahil baka may ma-offend, may mag-isip ng iba, o may magsabing wala kang pakialam.

Hindi ba pwedeng maging masaya habang may respeto at malasakit pa rin sa iba?

Minsan napapaisip lang ako—kailan ba talaga nagiging mali ang pagiging masaya?

So here's this game dota/dota2 na nilalaro ko ever since maliit palang ako maybe 7 or 8 years old then na introduce saken ng uncle ko around 2014 yung dota2 and dun na nag spark yung interest ko maging pro player. Fast forward 2026, im 24, undergrad sa college, mag tatrabaho nalang sa BPO starting this monday kase wala na talaga eh. Tawagin niyo na akong tanga or ano pa pero sobrang tagal na yung oras na sinayang ko sa putsng inang laro nato, even my mental health sobrang affected na maliit na bagay like losing to this fucking game nagagalit ako ng sobra sobra, di ko narin ma alis parang muscle memory na talaga at kahit bored ako wala naman akong magawa na iba kundi eto lang. The worst psrt is alam ko naman na wala na akong makukuha dito kahit ano sinayang ko buong pagkatao ko dahil dito, relationships, school, wala na talaga sobrang down na ako sa sarili ko. Everytime makita ko mga kaibigan ko dati nung highschool man or sa computer shop parang gusto ko mag tago dahil wala eh yung akala nilang magaling naging basura sa lipunan. Yung 25k hours ko na sinayang sa putang inang larong to kung nilagay ko nalang sana sa ibang bagay ano kaya buhay ko ngayon? Kung may ibang perspectives lang sana ako dati masaya siguro ako ngayon?

Ano ba naman yung purpose ko dito sa mundo putsng ina ayoko na mabuhay

title

Is it normal to experience hyper and restlessness when taking antidepressants? Because I started taking it again, and every night dapat siya i-consume because it is the drowsy kind. So pagka gising ko parang buhay na buhay ako na 'di mapakali.

Is it like a normal symptom 🥲

I don't feel like i have any purpose in my life, I am surviving life not living it. What should I do please tell. I am not at all Happy with my life.

How does nowserving works? I'm planning to seek help asap but I'm a working student so baka sumakto appointment sa time ng work or pasok ko. Is there any way na you can discuss the schedule with your psychologist before the appointment? Or kailangan sundin yung sched na ibibigay nila?

I want to take a first step to dealing with the struggles I've had. I'm just a fresh grad and unemployed for now so im wondering if there are any psychologists in the under 1000 peso range. Online works but i'd much prefer also getting out of the house, I'm around the Bacolod City area.