u/BriskEagle

I live with my dad and sister in a very MO part of my town, which isn’t that far away from NYC. Recently I’ve been doing a lot of travel in the city as I like exploring new places and seeing where I’d like to live (since I’ll be looking at grad school soon). I’m 21 and have been OTD for years, but I was always terrified of asking my dad for permission to travel there on Shabbat since I feel guilty about traveling on that day.

Recently I asked him if he would be okay with it and he said yes, which really shocked me. So I’ve been there sometimes on Shabbat (doesn’t feel too different).

I guess that he realizes that I’m an adult and can make some of these decisions. Though if we’re eating lunch at someone’s house on Shabbat I don’t travel, since I do like my dad’s choice of friends (he’s only friends with BTs who are more intellectual and can have real conversations not only about Torah).

I just feel like my dad doesn’t care how much I’ve fallen off the wagon since I’m not gay (like my brother). Recently I described kashrut/halacha in not so flattering terms, and he was nonchalant. For some reason I’m still his favorite of the 3 of us, no idea why lol.

I’ve been lurking in this community for a long time, so I’m giving this a go.

I was raised MO, first in Westchester (White Plains) and it was alright (had zero critical thinking though, since I had restricted internet access. I had only one friend since I’m autistic and had trouble making friends; both our families didn’t make much and we never judged each other. I’ve always felt othered though, since I was reliant on financial aid to be able to attend day schools, and never had the money for fancy vacations or summer camps. I went to a very fancy bat mitzvah when I was 12 that reminded me I would never be able to afford that lifestyle LOL.

I went to conservative (Schechter) school from 2nd thru 5th grade. So I had no problem with female rabbis or clergy, never thought about shomer negiah or tznius. Then I was forced to go to orthodox day school for 6th grade since I had been caught listening to rap music (big Shanda - grounded for a week). Then we had to move to NJ to a town with a very high MO population since my sister’s high school was there (Teaneck).

I was sent to Chabad middle school since my local middle school was deemed too “Ghetto”. I’m actually thankful my dad sent me there, since it exposed me to critical thinking since I had to decipher the BS that was spewed on a daily basis. I was given detention for saying “Merry Christmas” and the rabbi explained to me that the world was 6000 years old and that dinosaurs were not real (on some long rant). I had never been OTD before (or even knew what this meant), but I started by breaking Shabbat and Yom Tov, even though I was still going to shul regularly until COVID. I also had the balls to tell my teacher that the holocaust made me less likely to believe in god, and that I’d love to travel to Germany (almost everyone else was horrified at me).

The rest of 7th and 8th grade I spent making jokes about the rabbi and hiding in the bathroom during davening, while becoming less and less religious. For some reason when I came back to visit for a reunion a few years ago, my teachers actually missed me (including my Hebrew teacher who I’ve run into at the deli).

For reference I was a regular shul-goer in my childhood, it was once a week (also all holidays); then when I moved to Teaneck I was going very regularly for a few years. Then my parents got divorced (in part due to religion) so I went to live with my mom and became fully OTD. Depressing due to COVID but feeling very free for some time. I went to public high school which was okay, still didn’t really make friends until college though.

Now I’m 21 and only have 1 more year left in my undergrad, and identify as fully agnostic (though I don’t think my dad knows - but he’s okay with me being OTD). It’s depressing AF living here, since I never learned how to ride a bike (or drive). But I take the bus to the city and go walk around for hours, I love it there so much and fully intend to live there (praying I get into PhD programs there for clinical neuropsychology).

I’ve accomplished many things in my undergrad and have met so many wonderful people. I love working with people on the autism spectrum, or those with other neurological conditions. And I know that NY has great PhD programs (hope I get in - but I need to work before I apply to those).

Is anyone in the NY area and would love to hangout (in the city, duh)? I’d love to meet you all (as I begin my escape from here). I don’t mind being a part of a Jewish community, just NOT the one I currently live in. I’m non-denominational, agnostic, completely opposite politics from Teaneck (but not anti-Zionist, just Labor Zionist (which they also hate)).

Once again, I’d love to meet new ppl and if you have any questions to ask, go right ahead!

Long story short, I was thinking about changing my path to medicine, so I ended up taking Chem 2 here in the spring. Was brutal in the beginning, I got a 48 and then a 20 on the first 2 exams before I gave up and focused on networking and leadership/volunteering opportunities for next year. Also changed my career path to Clinical Neuropsychology, since I feel it better fits my research interests.

I found Professor Tavss’s old notes/practice problems, and also older practice exams that will be useful. This time around I’ll also be studying the textbook and doing far more practice problems, using Chad’s Prep, learning centers, perhaps a private tutor. I would like to get a least a B, hopefully an A; I’m really good at studying flashcards though I need to improve with application problems.

Is there anything else you recommend? I’m taking it with Marvasti so we have recitation 3x and class 4x a week (Summer II). I’m down to make an in-person study group for Summer II session if anyone is retaking it then (We got this!).