He broke no contact with an apology how would you interpret it?
I manifested him feeling my absence and an apology after a year. This is the apology, I will add context after for those curious of the whole situation & I would appreciate any response.
"Hey, i was thinking like couple months already to tell you this i know u probably don't need it anyway i want to apologize for my actions and behavior towards you, and the saddest part l realized after i already did all the shit and it's too late I just missed you lately and I know you doing good and shit and don't have time for this type of shit but I want to say you this anyway, you the best girl I ever met that treated me so good and with respect I wish i was a little smarter and more mature to treat you same way how you deserve, I did wrong and just now feel guilty, idk why I do this now but pls just don't answer me... Its better like that... I know u don't have any resentment and etc.... U really smart, keep playing it smart. I luv u but this luv is terrible."
CONTEXT: We have known each other for over 5 years and it felt like the most natural bond ever everything always felt and easy like the world didnt exist, not a single fight or drama. Things suddenly went south as he tried provoking countless fights (which seemed unnatural considering past behavior) and I just left without a word of explanation because i dont allow disrespectful behavior and didnt wanna provide a reaction.
I knew leaving was the right thing to do and we remained in no contact but regardless of everything I know hes going through a lot of personal/mental health issues and I dont take what happened personal but more as a reflection of his state. I cant help but still value our connection and can appreciate him taking responsibility.
MY RESPONSE: I decided to respond shortly regardless of him saying not to do so with "I hope you find yourself" as I geniuinely feel like thats something he needs to hear and I didn't wanna automatically open access and pour myself out without any confirmation that he's receptive of that. He left this message on read.
QUESTION: I wanted to ask would you interpret this apology as geniuine? I am extremely confused by the contradiction 'I missed you lately' and 'please dont answer' why do you think he asked me not to respond and didnt respond even though I replied? What could be the point. I have my theories but I wanted to consider someone elses perspectives SO I WILL REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE if you share your views. Also what further steps do you recommend?