Idk what to do
This isn’t “passing advice” necessarily, idk what this is kinda a vent or something. I have been on hrt for over a year and I don’t really pass, I guess I do juuuust enough for people to clock me and make using bathrooms hell and boomers call me “sir” but whatever. The problem is it’s entirely my fault I don’t put much effort in at all because I have severe ADHD and crippling depression so I mostly spend my limited energy on work and trying to not die. I want so desperately to put more effort into my transition but it’s 1000x harder when I don’t know what to do and I don’t know anyone trans irl to help.
I’m in this spiral where: I don’t put effort in because I’m depressed and can’t focus-> I don’t pass because I don’t put effort in -> not passing worsens my depression. Idk anymore I’m just kinda at the point of throwing money at the problem which I know isn’t how this happens, I don’t even have much savings but it’s all I know/have the energy to do. I feel like I’m gunna make stupid expensive mistakes.
I feel like a fraud just not doing anything to actually transition. I don’t correct anyone. I just act like I didn’t hear it even though I did