u/Broke_Scholar

Hello, folks!

I think I'm willing to go to bat for just about most things in this show. I really enjoyed it and I think Mike Flanagan did a lot of really good work adapting Carrie into something fresh, while still ringing true to the original text, AND setting up for a theoretical three part series. Even the last episode that turned off some people, I think I have a good argument for why it was done the way it was particularly regard Carrie's agency and Emaline's presence.

However, the one thing I can't really defend or wrap my mind around, is what happened with Sue particularly in her relationship to Carrie. It was front loaded, and felt fairly strong with what we got, but they cease to have another on screen interaction after episode 4 when Chris is revealed to be the CarrieRed_ account. We are lead to believe that they potentially patched things up off-screen at some point based on some dialogue between Tommy and Carrie, but doesn't that seem important for us to see? And unlike a lot of unanswered questions about the interpersonal dynamic of other characters (most notably Mr. Peist and Brooklyn), it directly relates to Carrie and Sue who's presumably making up a large part of the telling in medias res about the events leading up to prom. Do we think some scenes were on the cutting room floor? I'm just really curious as to how this happened, because it seems like the biggest gap in the narrative for me.

https://preview.redd.it/ufl44lr6gzjh1.png?width=620&format=png&auto=webp&s=82c024f32f14b0c4a34b9b4886b299797a28ccfe

When I was growing up my parents made it pretty clear that I embarrassed them, and when I "failed" some sort of social interaction. In retrospect, social situations would usually have some sort of post-mortem, where they would explain in detail whatever faux pas I committed. Family social events were when the most amount of scrutiny would be applied. I became known as the "tactless wonder" which my uBPD mother even affectionately told my husband who was confused and slightly offended by the moniker. It led to me thinking and hearing this word, concept, "tact" that's almost nonexistent in my independent adult life. Like what does that even mean? How often does it even come up? I'm not a Southern belle socialite at the church social.

However, I am now realizing this deeply affected how I interact with the world. I'm someone who is almost compulsively socially anxious. I can't help, but scrutinize just about every previous social interaction and speculate how I may have upset someone. I play embarrassing moments or generally ones where I put my foot in my mouth on loop. It's the background soundtrack of my brain. It also made me inherently distrust my own behavior, and believe that I can be thoughtlessly cruel, selfish, or unkind. Also add on the accusations of manipulation whenever something hurt the feelings of "sensitive" little old me, I learned to never trust my own perception of my behavior. I am now understanding that this is how my uBPD mother (who was quite the Queen when I was growing up) and (possibly also uBPD) father their perceived image around others, but also very directly me. To this day, my mom still treats me at times like an 8 year old that needs to be lectured on how to interact with others.

It all makes me so angry to think about, because my nickname was literally "someone who never cares about upsetting someone" while I have lived in a fawn response for so much of life walking on eggshells, because in addition to the social scrutiny they fucking emphasized I WAS ALSO TRYING TO KEEP MY EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE PARENTS FROM EXPLODING ON ME. I don't know if I want to punch something or cry.

Has anyone else gone through anything like this? I'm sure a lot of people can relate to the painful realization of how thoroughly you have been molded to have such low self esteem that it fractures how you relate to yourself.