u/Brunobruno25

My gf (25) and I seem to have the perfect relationship, we fell in love 3 years ago and since then it just works, not much arguing, same values, a lot of fun together, etc. We planned out our future and it really feels settled. We typically get described as the "perfect couple" and I think we come pretty close to it. There is no toxic arguments behind closed curtains, nothing. Objectively speaking, only a fool would end this relationship.

But: I'm in med school, so during exam season, my free time is really limited. Normally I'd spend it with her, but if I'm being honest for a couple of weeks now it drains me more than regenerates me. Investing in our time together and organise any quality time is starting to feel exhausting. I just feel like being alone or with friends makes me much more happier. We had some issues regarding the lack of quality time in December, so the little free time I had we spent talking and arguing, but in the end we made it through. Maybe i subconsciously ended it there already, I don't know.

I get that it is incredibly hard for her and don't want to sound like it's her fault that I feel that way. It must be super frustrating and sad for her to not see me as much as she wants to. I also don't want to come off as "the hero" that let go of his dream girl because she "deserves better". I think the time in December just made me realize that this time of my life should not be spent in a relationship. My every day life is pretty much planned to the minute so having another "task" that you have to organize and invest in is just not something i can see myself in.

Now has anyone ever felt like that? I feel so stupid for wanting to break off something that seems so perfect. I also really don't want to break her heart, and I think it really would. She's extremely important to me and i'd hate to see her sad, but I just can't turn these feelings off. I don't know what to do at all, I'm also not a very confronting person so conflict in general is something i don't like (some would maybe call me a people pleaser). I'm so conflicted and have absolutely no idea how to handle it. I know that talking to her about it would be the best solution, but how do you bring something like this up to a partner who doesn't suspect anything?

English is not my first language so, sorry if some sentences sound confusing.

Hi guys, I don't know if this is the right subreddit to ask for advice for a break up, so I'm sorry if not.

My gf (25) and I seem to have the perfect relationship, we fell in love 3 years ago and since then it just works, not much arguing, same values, a lot of fun together, etc. We planned out our future and it really feels settled. We typically get described as the "perfect couple" and I think we come pretty close to it. There is no toxic arguments behind closed curtains, nothing. Objectively speaking, only a fool would end this relationship.

But: I'm in med school, so during exam season, my free time is really limited. Normally I'd spend it with her, but if I'm being honest for a couple of weeks now it drains me more than regenerates me. I just feel like being alone or with friends makes me much more happier. We had some issues regarding the lack of quality time in December, so the little free time I had we spent talking and arguing, but in the end we made it through. Maybe i subconsciously already ended it there already, I don't know.

I get that it is incredibly hard for her and don't want to sound like it's her fault that I feel that way. It must be super frustrating and sad for her to not see me as much as she wants to. I also don't want to come off as "the hero" that let go of his dream girl because she "deserves better". I think the time in December just made me realize that this time of my life should not be spent in a relationship. My every day life is pretty much planned to the minute so having another "task" that you have to organize and invest in is just not something i can see myself in.

Now has anyone ever felt like that? I feel so stupid for wanting to break off something that seems so perfect. I also really don't want to break her heart, and I think it really would. She's extremely important to me and i'd hate to see her sad, but I just can't turn these feelings off. I don't know what to do at all, I'm also not a very confronting person so conflict in general is something i don't like (some would maybe call me a people pleaser). I'm so conflicted and have absolutely no idea how to handle it.

EDIT: an* in title, english is not my first language... :(