u/Bubbles_in_troubles

Hey everyone. This one’s going to be a little long.
So my husband (30m) and I (30f) traveled to our home country with our 8 month old son almost four days ago. Prior to our trip my MIL had asked me if i wanted to hire a nanny while we were there to take care of the baby so i could catch a break and enjoy my time. Truthfully i was a little reluctant, because where i come from, the one who hires calls the shots and i knew in this case it would be my MIL, but i was assured that the nanny was being hired for me to be at my disposal, and i could have her do whatever i thought was ok. I have reservations about anyone outside family changing my baby’s diaper as i’ve read waay too much about pedophiles and i dont want a stranger near my baby’s privates; my other condition was that i will be the one feeding him, as i have worked extremely hard over the last 3 months with BLW and he’s doing extremely well. My MIL has suggested several times in the past that i use toys and television to distract my baby during his meal times and feed him myself as this way he will not waste any food and eat everything, and i have told her politely several times that he’s doing great with BLW and he doesnt need distractions. I have explained the entire science to her.
Twice.
I was told that my conditions would be met, and so I agreed to hire the nanny. Guys, on the very first day, without my knowledge they were feeding him a banana right after i had given him his milk, while using toys and tv. My husband and i told them all very loudly at that time that we had used no screens under any circumstances and we dont want them to expose him to them either.
The next night, when i had left the baby with my MIL and gone to the bathroom, when i came back down i heard noises from inside my MIL’s room, and lo and behold, my baby was sitting on the bed and playing in front of him was a coco melon type nursery rhyme.
I was so, so pissed.
My baby started crying upon seeing me and i picked him up and took him upstairs to calm down. When i came back down my MIL called my husband inside, took him and my baby back into the room, and played the video again. I heard my husband mention that we dont do screens and my MIL starts apologizing that she made a mistake and she just found out that i dont allow screens. But also that it’s the grandparents’ job to spoil their grandkids so it’s okay maybe.
Honestly i didnt even know what to say.
The next day after his first bottle the nanny came up to take the baby and i told her explicitly that i will feed him myself in a while. But my husband sent me a “cute” video of my baby in the high chair surrounded by toys and the nanny feeding him while my MIL “distracts” him with toys. Again, he was facing the tv so i texted my husband asking if he was watching tv and that i had told the nanny that i was going to feed him myself. My husband started defending them by saying that they were only making my job easier. When i went down i told my MIL to just leave the feeding to me, and my husband said the same, but i knew that he was upset with me because i had lowkey challenged his mother. My MIL was visibly upset with me afterwards and my husband and i didnt speak to each other all day and kept arguing over texts. We had a massive fight the same night over this where i kept trying to explain to him how a commitment was made but was not now being honored, and that i had worked way too hard to just throw all of it away. Whenever i told my nanny to do something my MIL would tell her the exact opposite and of course we’d have to do what my MIL had said. My husband and i got into a heated argument where he basically said to me that i was being biased against his mother because i was at my in laws, and that she’s so innocent that she probably didnt even know she wasnt supposed to show him tv (l find that hard to believe). He said that i was being ungrateful because she had done several interviews while she was sick to find us a nanny for our facilitation. The gist is that he was “hurt and disappointed” and “couldn’t believe id make a massive issue over something so petty after how much they had pampered us”. He think im being unreasonable and rigid over dumb things and ruining his vacation.
My MIL is genuinely a great person and has been great to me but ever since the baby came into the equation she has been acting like this and honestly IM hurt and disappointed too. Both in her and my husband.
Now my husband wont talk to me.
So tell me guys, did i overreact?