u/BudgetAd9088

Hello Guys. My name is Aditya Sridhar. I am currently a local CC but will most likely end up transferring to university next year. I created this post to announce that I have recently started a psychology/neuroscience channel. I will talk a lot about the brown man’s experience, about mental health struggles, and about overall psychological elements of self improvement

I doubt that all of my videos will fit the niche for this Reddit. I will get into the science aspects of things. A lot of. But I just released a vid on why you feel behind in life . Go check it out 💪🏾💪🏾 https://youtu.be/bn\_vLpoWRcQ?si=y4E-ksHUHmbwdAwj

Birth : April 26 2006 Meena Rashi Male Chrompet, India

Hello Everybody,

I will be applying to transfer to this colllege(called UCLA in Los Angeles) but have faced numerous challenges in my road to get here and many many failures. I am writing this message to see if it is still worth it for me to pursue this goal and to file my application this August or for me to let go and to wait till my Ashtama Shani is over in two years

Dear Fellow Transfer Students,

I am a second-year community college student who is a psychology major. When I write this message, I am writing this out of quiet desperation. I have been stressing out so many nights I can barely sleep. It feels like everything is going down under.

I would like to first start off by discussing my high school years. When I was a 9th grader in high school, I came across this intense attraction to the idea of going to UCLA. Prior to this grade, I honestly could have cared less because I faced severe humiliation, abuse, and isolation to the point where I didn’t even feel like a man anymore, let alone somebody who was smart enough to get into a college like UCLA.

However, when I started high school, things took a turn. I was initially placed into an engineering pathway but had to leave because I had a bad teacher and it just was not for me. I was actually doing quite good in school in 9th grade but faced a lot of ups and downs. I also became part of the football team but was one of the worst players there. I guess I just wanted to prove something to myself.

Long story short… after that year, I absolutely forgot about going to a college like UCLA. I was deeply embroiled in depression. I needed genuine psychiatric assistance but was always quite ambitious, so I never failed or got Ds in any of my classes. It also kind of worked in my favor that I had no friends because I intentionally isolated myself, started smoking weed to get through the pain, was hitting the gym, and was still recovering from my failed stint at football in my freshman and sophomore years. I could barely be able to get up to go to school and was often an hour late. I still ended up being a B student my sophomore year and a C student the first semester of junior year, before clutching up and being an A student for the last three semesters I had left. I started working at McDonald’s and was interning at a place designated to tutor and assist adults with special needs.

I was rejected from EVERY UC except Merced and got off the waitlist for Riverside. Yes—the student who once thought of going to UCLA had to get off a waitlist from Riverside. I had a 3.73 overall cumulative GPA. I left McDonald’s my junior year, started working at another place, and got fired three weeks in, leaving me jobless and feeling rejected for a whole year. I started getting myself a friend group which is still relatively strong till date, but I never got into any relationships or anything. I always saw myself as somebody who had to do the work just to get absolutely nothing.

Then I came to community college. My first year was extremely brutal. I only took three classes my first semester, got an A and two Bs, and started working a brand new job while being a director at the Inter Club Council.

My second semester—I had all As for most of the semester until the last three weeks where all of them dropped to Bs. I got my unit overload petitions rejected both times because counselors were worried about my mental health since I was suspended from the student body organization after getting into an argument with a supervisor. To be fair, they were right all the way. I was not okay. I was angry. I was cynical. I hated everybody and everything and I was trying to recover my past trauma to no avail. I skipped out on friends’ parties to write essays day and night and was borderline obsessively focused on this one English essay that ended up getting a B (even though I got an A, it went to a B due to late deductions). I spent all my time writing that paper that I would go to work as a busser and write assignments while dealing with scraps and mess from other people. I am now a server at that restaurant, so it’s not the worst return on investment.

But to top it all off, my dad had his second heart attack and his third heart attack over a span of six months from this time. He had his first my sophomore year and it really affected me. His second one was during my midterm in my first semester at community college. His third one was this winter when he had to go back to India to do funeral rites for my grandfather. If my dad died, all of this work that I did put in would amount to nothing. I couldn’t bear any more losses in my family. I was just so mentally overwhelmed.

I started feeling like fate was against me. I had nobody to help. I was crying on my bed for days on end. Two Bs in my first semester… I had all these big plans. I was going to get my psychology associate, then my biology associate, then start my own YouTube channel, take five classes in winter and summer, and overload fall and spring as well. Now, I saw myself down on my knees. I had nobody. Nothing. No god. Nothing. I ended up only doing one class that summer.

I did five classes for the first time over fall and I have to tell you… it was very painful. Not because it was hard but because I was just so burnt out. I took more classes over winter. Since then, I’ve gotten ten As in a row so far. I expect to get six more As this semester, another four to five over summer, and another six or seven over fall.

All of this… just to be at a 3.8 GPA. Just to maybe not get into UCLA or Berkeley. Just to fall short.

I have done research and presented at honors symposiums because I was part of HTP, and I also have a professor who I met and I might start helping with his cognitive science research project as a TA. I have not taken a genuine intentional break over the last year, to be honest. I even resented celebrating my own birthday because of how difficult the year was.

I am not good at anything. School is the only thing I am a bit operational in, but I always feel like I am either on ground level or drowning.

I have turned to astrology for answers but this has not helped me one bit either, because now I feel like I have nothing but bad luck, humiliation, and misery waiting for me over the next couple of years.

I cannot deal with the pain anymore. I do not want to be in that place or on ground level anymore. I want to win. I want to go up. I do not know what is wrong. I keep pushing. I keep working as hard as I can.

I need genuine advice. I dread even going to Irvine on TAG because why I gotta work so hard just to go to school with carefree people my age who just did the bare minimum to get in? It sounds egotistical from my end but all I got for now is my ego. Nothing else.

I really need three questions answered:

1). Should I give up? Is this path even worth it anymore? It is so oversaturated and more and more people are considering going to community college

2). Can ECs even help me anymore? I am doing a third year which gives me time to do ecs but all of my ecs will be done after I file for transfer this fall. I have volunteer at a couple spots been in student hov done some research but nothing too significant for my narrative. Are Ecs even worth it when you take six classes and work twenty five hours to thirty hours a week

3). Any advice on how I can keep going?

Dear Fellow Transfer Students,

I am a second-year community college student who is a psychology major. When I write this message, I am writing this out of quiet desperation. I have been stressing out so many nights I can barely sleep. It feels like everything is going down under.

I would like to first start off by discussing my high school years. When I was a 9th grader in high school, I came across this intense attraction to the idea of going to UCLA. Prior to this grade, I honestly could have cared less because I faced severe humiliation, abuse, and isolation to the point where I didn’t even feel like a man anymore, let alone somebody who was smart enough to get into a college like UCLA.

However, when I started high school, things took a turn. I was initially placed into an engineering pathway but had to leave because I had a shitty teacher and it just was not for me. I was actually doing quite good in school in 9th grade but faced a lot of ups and downs. I also became part of the football team but was like the shittiest player there. I guess I just wanted to prove something to myself.

Long story short… after that year, I absolutely forgot about going to a college like UCLA. I was so fucking embroiled in depression. I needed genuine psychiatric assistance but was always quite ambitious, so I never failed or got Ds in any of my classes. It also kind of worked in my favor that I had no friends because I intentionally isolated myself, started smoking weed to get through the pain, was hitting the gym, and was still recovering from my failed stint at football in my freshman and sophomore years. I could barely be able to get up to go to school and was often an hour late. I still ended up being a B student my sophomore year and a C student the first semester of junior year, before clutching up and being an A student for the last three semesters I had left. I started working at McDonald’s and was interning at a place designated to tutor and assist adults with special needs.

I was rejected from EVERY UC except Merced and got off the waitlist for Riverside. Yes—the student who once thought of going to UCLA had to get off a waitlist from fucking Riverside. I had a 3.73 overall cumulative GPA. I left McDonald’s my junior year, started working at another place, and got fired three weeks in, leaving me jobless and feeling rejected for a whole year. I started getting myself a friend group which is still relatively strong till date, but I never got into any relationships or anything. I always saw myself as somebody who had to do the work just to get absolutely nothing.

Then I came to community college. My first year was fucking brutal. I only took three classes my first semester, got an A and two Bs, and started working a brand new job while being a director at the Inter Club Council.

My second semester—I had all As for most of the semester until the last three weeks where all of them dropped to Bs. I got my unit overload petitions rejected both times because counselors were worried about my mental health since I was suspended from the student body organization after getting into an argument with a supervisor. To be fair, they were right all the way. I was not okay. I was angry. I was cynical. I hated everybody and everything and I was trying to recover my past trauma to no avail. I skipped out on friends’ parties to write essays day and night and was borderline psychotically obsessed with this one English essay that ended up getting a B (even though I got an A, it went to a B due to late deductions). I spent all my time writing that paper that I would go to work as a busser and write assignments while dealing with shit, scraps, and vomit from other people. I am now a server at that restaurant, so it’s not the worst return on investment.

But to top it all off, my dad had his second heart attack and his third heart attack over a span of six months from this time. He had his first my sophomore year and it really affected me. His second one was during my Middterm in my first semester at community college. His third one was this winter when he had to go back to India to do funeral rites for my grandfather. If my dad died, all of this work that I did put in would amount to nothing. I couldn't bear any more losses in my family. I was just so fucked up mentally.

I started feeling like fate was against me. I had nobody to help. I was crying on my bed for days on end. Two Bs in my first semester… I had all these big plans. I was going to get my psychology associate, then my biology associate, then start my own YouTube channel, take five classes in winter and summer, and overload fall and spring as well. Now, I saw myself down on my knees. I had nobody. Nothing. No god. Nothing. I ended up only doing one class that summer.

I did five classes for the first time over fall and I gotta tell you… it was fucking painful. Not because it was hard but because I was just so burnt out. I took more classes over winter. Since then, I’ve gotten ten As in a row so far. I expect to get six more As this semester, another four to five over summer, and another six or seven over fall.

All of this… just to be at a 3.8 GPA. Just to maybe not get into UCLA or Berkeley. Just to fall short.

I have done research and presented at honors symposiums because I was part of HTP, and I also have a professor who I met and started helping with his cognitive science research project as a TA. I have not taken a break over the last year, to be honest. I even resented celebrating my own birthday because of how shitty the year was.

I am not good at anything. School is the only thing I am a bit operational in, but I always feel like I am either on ground level or drowning.

I have turned to astrology for answers but this has not helped me one bit either, because now I feel like I have nothing but bad luck, humiliation, and misery waiting for me over the next couple of years.

I cannot deal with the pain anymore. I do not want to be in the shithole or on ground level anymore. I want to win. I want to go up. I do not know what is wrong. I keep pushing. I keep working my ass off