r/SouthAsianMasculinity

I would love to be a vegan/vegetarian for health and animal rights reasons, but I cannot. I'm such a carnivore; I love meat sm. I'm half desi, and my Austronesian mom's cooking growing up would always contain chicken, fish, or beef every day. I'm currently hosting a business client who's a mainlander and he is strictly vegetarian and no eggs. I'm taking him to vegetarian friendly restaraunts everyday and I'm secretly going insane. I live in a country where almost every food is cross-contaminated with shellfish, so I'm only bringing him to purely vegetarian joints like religious Indian restaurants or Chinese Buddhist restaurants. The food isn't bad at all, but ig as a carnivore it's lacking that extra pizzaz a piece of meat will give you lol. I do love veggies and eat them every day, but I need meat on the side. It's not me asking for advice; I very much could just grab a meat dish on my own after. I'm just realizing how unbuilt I am for this lifestyle lmfaooo. Much love and respect to the vegetarians, especially vegans.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years in December and I am Hispanic and he is Indian. Specifically he is from south India and his family is Brahmin which from what I understand makes it worse because that’s like the highest caste?? Any recs from people who have gone through this? Very niche I know but I’d love to marry this man but I’m scared his family is going to get in the way :(

hi all, just moved to Utah County for a job. So I’m not in SLC but more south. it’s just me by myself and I’m currently renting a room.

Was curious if there was anyone else living near here that had advice for dating and making friends. I don’t only want brown friends, but im from Michigan and miss the brown folks.

i was considering getting a dating app like DilMil or Hinge to meet women and stuff. Using these apps as an avenue to make friends or a friend group. is this a good plan?

any other advice? (I’m not Mormon or Christian)

Depending on your state's local laws, what did you have to undergo to legally obtain a conceal carry license?

Did your race affect you in any way throughout the process?

Whether you do or don't live with any family members, what were their reactions?

I ask this question because, let's be real, our parents are immigrant fobs who are from India, and the rest of our extended families live there, and things like gun culture is very frowned upon no matter the countless times you try to educate them on the 2nd Amendment and that the rest of the world is not India and does not follow Indian culture

Have you ever been in a situation where you have or almost needed to use it?

I wanna wish everyone a Happy Indian Independence Day! It’s been 79 years since India has been free but we need to remember there is so much work that remains to be done. We must not stop. We need to improve our soft power and rise. I look back and think how disappointed revolutionaries like Bhagat Singh and Azad would be with the state of India today. There is so much work to be done. Remember that on an individual level, you have to improve your soft power to beat those narratives and on a societal level, we need to create an equitable India and world like our revolutionaries wanted. India isn’t free and we need to keep fighting. Long live Bharat!

I was wondering what dating apps do you guys use, if any? I usually just use Hinge or DilMil. I stopped using Tinder and Bumble, because I wasn't that successful on them.

And I usually get more matches on Hinge, I have my filters set to "South Asian" only, but I've expanded my filters when swiping in certain cities. I get fewer matches on DilMil, and they're usually far away. And I've noticed better results, after changing my location to bigger cities, which usually have more ABCDs in them.

I don't get a crazy amount of matches on Hinge, but it is a noticeable difference, especially compared to some apps, where I don't match with anyone. But part of that just might be, me only swiping on other South Asians on Hinge (and they're more receptive?), versus swiping on every race/ethnicity on Tinder because Tinder doesn't a race filter.

Hey everyone, u/Eastern_Score_4038 and I are new moderators on this subreddit and we will help with cleaning up with the clutter on the subreddit and establishing the subs culture. The rules will be pretty chillax here but I want to go over some additional rules.

No larping as a woman and going on VindictaBrown/SplendidaBrown. That’s a woman’s only space and we don’t need to give them any attention. Breaking this rule is an immediate ban if you are caught posting there.

No women on this subreddit. We don’t need to cater to women on here like ABCDesis does. Enough said.

No shaming brown men for dating out. Brown men will be encouraged to date who they want. Also no defeatism around brown men dating.

Thats about it, anything else you wanna see. Let us know!

In November of 1963, in Detroit, Malcolm X gave a speech called "Message to the Grassroots." In it he described two kinds of slaves:

"During slavery you had two Negroes. You had the house Negro and the field Negro... whenever that house Negro identified himself, he always identified himself in the same sense that his master identified himself. When his master said, 'We have good food,' the house Negro would say, 'Yes, we have plenty of good food.' 'We' have plenty of good food. When the master said that 'we have a fine home here,' the house Negro said, 'Yes, we have a fine home here.' When the master would be sick, the house Negro identified himself so much with his master he'd say, 'What's the matter boss, we sick?' His master's pain was his pain. And it hurt him more for his master to be sick than for him to be sick himself. When the house started burning down, that type of Negro would fight harder to put the master's house out than the master himself would."

The 'Sepoy' is the reflection of this repulsive phenomena within the Desi community. In response to oppression and persecution, The Sepoy sees it fit to identify with the White Man, maltreating their own kind. The Sepoy identifies with the White Man so much, that they practically have no identity of their own. The Sepoy's sense of self is dependant on the existence of the White Man, their master. Just like Malcom X said, "If someone came to [The Sepoy] and said, 'Let's go, let's separate,' naturally [The Sepoy] would say, 'Go where? What could I do without boss? Where would I live? How would I dress? Who would look out for me?'"

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When the White Man says "we don't want them coming here," The Sepoy says "yes, we don't want them coming here," as if their own parents were not one of them the day they landed.

When the White Man says "those people are backwards," The Sepoy says "yes, those people are backwards." And they say it louder, because they need the White Man to know they mean the ones they came from.

When the White Man says "those people don't integrate," The Sepoy says "yes, those people don't integrate," and raises their children to be strangers to their own grandmother.

When the White Man complains about the ones who just got here, The Sepoy complains louder. They want it understood that they are not that kind. They are the "good kind." There is no "good kind."

The Sepoy tells you the racism is not that serious. The Sepoy tells you the slurs were just jokes and you should have laughed. The Sepoy tells you to work harder, The Sepoy tells you to keep your head down, The Sepoy tells you to stop complaining.

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Assimilation is another manner in which this "we" phenomena manifests in Sepoys.

The Sepoy clips their own name down so the White Man's tongue is not troubled by it. They do this because they hate his own culture. They look at their name (the one thing on the paper that says what they are and where they came from) and they see it tying them to the rest of us, and they cannot stand it. So they cut it. Four syllables become one. And what they get back for that cut is the "we." A shorter name is the toll The Sepoy pays to sit at the table and say "we" with the White Man, and they pay it gladly, because "we" is the only word that makes them feel like they are not what they are.

The Sepoy does the same thing to their faith. They drop the god their people carried for a thousand years and pick up the one the White Man happens to hold, and they call it "finding the truth." However, this is not The Sepoy "finding the truth," it is simply The Sepoy surrendering their understanding and perspective on truth and reality to the White Man. If the White Man tells The Sepoy that a carpenter is God, then to The Sepoy, the carpenter is God, not only in belief, but also practically, as in function.

The Sepoy does the same thing to their food. They call Indian food unhealthy. They call it heavy, they call it oily, they call it too much. They look at vegetarianism, a thing their people held for thousands of years, and they see a backwards tradition. The Sepoy, thinking of themselves as superior, makes fun of Desis that are vegetarian. They eat what the White Man tells them to eat. When the White Man says "we eat clean," The Sepoy sees it fit to say "yes, we eat clean."

The Sepoy empties themselves of everything that would make the White Man look twice, and when there is nothing left in them that the White Man would flinch at, they finally get to say "we." That is all they wanted. They gutted themselves for a pronoun.

Full blown relationship with Valentine cards and everything lmao

I’ve been struggling with something for a while and I’m hoping people here might have some advice.
Over the past few years I’ve spent a lot of time online, and I’ve been exposed to a lot of negative content about Indians, dating, attractiveness, social status, and racism. At first I brushed it off, but over time I think it’s genuinely changed the way I see myself.
I find myself assuming that people will judge me negatively because I’m Indian, especially when I see racist comments online. It’s gotten to the point where I sometimes worry that if I ever move abroad, people will automatically dislike me or see me as less desirable. Rationally, I know that billions of people can’t be judged by internet comments, but emotionally it’s harder to shake.
I’ve also noticed that this mindset has affected my confidence. I compare myself to people I see as better-looking, more confident, or more successful socially, and I often assume I’ll be rejected before I’ve even given myself a chance. When I see attractive women, my first thought is often that someone like that would never be interested in me.
I know this way of thinking isn’t healthy, and I don’t want to become bitter or cynical. I don’t want my identity, self-worth, or future to be defined by what strangers on the internet say.
Has anyone else gone through something similar? If you’ve dealt with racism online, blackpill thinking, or a negative self-image that developed from spending too much time in certain corners of the internet, what helped you get out of it?
I’d really appreciate any advice.

(I asked chatgpt to summarise my chat with it about this topic for the past couple of weeks)

Hi moved to UK 5 years ago. Belongs to low socio-economic family, came uk without any financial help from family.

Father is retired school teacher, current age lates 60s. Mother is housewife. Younger sister is student & studying in private university.

Since moved in Uk have been paying 350£ each month. Completely dependent on my income. Planning to buy a house for mine in Uk. Living cost has increased - also worried child cost would add.

Assuming that standard of living will drop & unable to provide that amount of money to family back home.

Father doesn't do anything. Mother manages everything. They have their own flat - only need money for maintenance.

Planning to cut down money to 200£ /monthly. I have to pay it for atleast 20-25 years.

Parents doesn't suggest any altenative income way- completely depends on my income.

Feeling like forever financial commitment.

Is it normal for south asian family where you are expected to pay forever.

Please share your thoughts.