u/Busy-Examination-424

Hi guys, this is my first post here and I really need advice.

For context, I (18f) have been friends with my best friend for almost 4 years now (also 18f). We have become so close that I’m practically a part of her family. Her parents and siblings loved me and were practically my family (since I have a very complicated relationship with my own family). We had other friends outside of each other of course, but we had an undeniably special and close bond.

Since last May, I started to notice that she was drifting away from me. But I tried to stay as close to her as I could. When we saw each other for the first time since May in September, I sensed that something was really off between us. But, (and this was a HUGE mistake) I let it be because I thought I was crazy. Turns out, I wasn’t.

I reached out to ask if things were okay between us, and she let me know honestly (which was my request) that I was being a really shitty friend to her the past year, which I was completely unaware of. I was casually leaving her out of things, prioritizing others while she prioritized me, and just not being a supportive friend. She held all of that in for months because she didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, and I really wished she had told me. While I hadn’t actively tried to do these things, that didn’t matter. She was still extremely hurt and I feel absolutely awful.

I apologized for every single individual mistake I made that she mentioned, and put them into context while reassuring her that her feelings were completely valid. I made sure to let her know that I didn’t deserve forgiveness, but I was happy she said we could still be friends.

It’s been two days since I found all of this out, and I feel physically sick because of the anxiety, guilt, and sadness this confrontation has brought me. This is not at ALL saying that I am the victim. I want to make that extremely clear. I’m just wondering if there is anything else I should do for my friend, because I sincerely want to make it up to her. Also because this person was truly my bestest of friends, and it was my fault our friendship took a hit.

Any advice on what I should do, or how I can cope with this? Any comments (even critical ones) are greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Hey guys, this is my first post here and I need your advice. I, 18 female, have two very close friends. Let's call them Friend A and Friend B (Also both 18 Female.)

In Early April of this year, me and Friend B were talking about Prom and we joked that we were going to go together. That ended up happening in late April (when our Prom was) because we had no dates, so we took each other platonically. Around the same time that I came up with the idea of taking Friend B, Friend A started talking to me about prom and how she wanted her other close friends to take her. I was so excited for her, and was totally rooting for her to go with her friends because that is what she told me she wanted to do.

Fast forward to prom, Friend B ended up not being the greatest date for multiple reasons. It overall wasn't a great experience going with her because I did a lot for her and she didn't really reciprocate that.

But as I drove Friend B home, she told me "I heard Friend A is really mad you didn't take her to prom, but don't tell her because you're not supposed to know." I was totally stunned and had no idea what to do. When I got home, the first thing I did was cry because I felt so terrible, and because I knew I would've had a much better experience with Friend A as my date to prom.

Fast Forward to now, Friend A is still really upset at me to the point that she won't look at me and is actively avoiding me. I have been trying to mend this friendship since the beginning of this school year, and nothing is working. I've tried to talk to her in person, but she keeps avoiding me. So, naturally, I ask her friends if she's upset with me or if anything is going on. They say they don't know, but I'm now finding out they're confused on why they're getting dragged into this situation, but the only reason I'm asking them is because she is completely avoiding me and clearly hates my guts.

I didn't want to fix this over text, but it was my only option. So, I texted her earlier today only for her to (allegedly) say "How unaware could she be?" in reference to me to our mutual friends. This whole situation has me totally confused and heartbroken, especially because I was under no impression that she wanted to go to Prom with me. Maybe it's because I'm autistic and can't pick up social cues (especially flirting or hints), and that's why it might've gone over my head?

Before I end this, I'm also not 100% sure it's completely the Prom thing that's making her upset. I might've done something else to hurt her feelings, but that's exactly why I texted her asking her if we're okay and if I did anything wrong. She isn't communicating her feelings to me and I don't know what she expects me to do, but I still love her and want to fix this.

But I'm really sad that she's upset with me and I don't know what to do. I miss my best friend. What do I do? Am I in the wrong?

EDIT: This isn't a space to hate on Friend A just by the way, because I don't know her side of the story. But thank you guys for reading until the end!