u/Busy_Initiative_7998

Hello everyone! I’d like to hear your opinion because, even after years of self-analysis and therapy, I still can’t figure it out.

Bullying is one of the repeated traumas that eventually led to C-PTSD. For almost my entire life, no matter what environment I’m in, it somehow always ends up with me being bullied or mobbed at work. I was bullied by teachers in elementary school, by peers in middle school and high school, even at university, on vacation, and even when interacting with friends’ relatives… and I don’t understand why it’s always me.

I’m neither exceptionally beautiful nor unattractive (the best period was actually when I was underweight, blonde, and conventionally pretty, but even then I was never really safe from bullying), and it doesn’t change whether I talk a lot or very little: it feels like I have a target on my forehead.

My question is: what characteristics or behaviors do you think trigger these reactions? There must be something, if it even happens with strangers…

Hello, I’m writing this post to gather some opinions… I’m feeling very confused.

I went to a Gestalt psychotherapist for about three and a half years. On one hand, he did help me, and I don’t deny that (I am doing better now). On the other hand, there were a series of things that left me feeling uneasy and eventually led me to stop seeing him.

The things that made me uncomfortable:

1. ⁠He refused to give me an ADHD assessment; not because he thought I didn’t meet the criteria (actually, apparently he saw me that way too), but because he believed diagnoses only serve to make people easier to categorize and turn them into victims of marketing (although later he told me I had CPTSD);

2. ⁠He often interrupted me and said he “wasn’t in the mood to hear complaints,” and that therefore I could also stop accepting other people’s complaints. But I also needed someone I could talk to and vent to;

3. ⁠He often rescheduled appointments and was not punctual. That wouldn’t have been a huge issue if it hadn’t been for the last “incident”: before the summer break (he never told me when it would end), he rescheduled my appointment several times, then asked me to meet within the next hour (it was 3 p.m. and I was supposed to see him at 4), and when I told him I couldn’t because I was working, he never replied to me again… and we never saw each other after that, because I didn’t know when the summer break ended and an anxiety cycle started that made me unable to contact him;

4. ⁠He explicitly told me what he thought I should do (he told me to move in with my boyfriend);

5. When I explained my sexual orientation to him, he told me he thought labeling sexual orientations was absurd;

6. ⁠He tried to persuade me to join some kind of paid experiential group, which triggered an anxiety attack because I had to refuse (he apologized after I burst into tears).

I’m very confused. I feel guilty for ending therapy, but it also felt like I was throwing money away. I realized that I often censored myself so I wouldn’t look bad in front of him, wouldn’t upset or disappoint him, and also because I was afraid he might see me as “crazy,” for lack of a better term.

Did he behave poorly toward me, or was I the one in the wrong?

Hello, I’m writing this post to gather some opinions… I’m feeling very confused.

I went to a Gestalt psychotherapist for about three and a half years. On one hand, he did help me, and I don’t deny that (I am doing better now). On the other hand, there were a series of things that left me feeling uneasy and eventually led me to stop seeing him.

The things that made me uncomfortable:

1. He refused to give me an ADHD assessment; not because he thought I didn’t meet the criteria (actually, apparently he saw me that way too), but because he believed diagnoses only serve to make people easier to categorize and turn them into victims of marketing (although later he told me I had CPTSD);

2. He often interrupted me and said he “wasn’t in the mood to hear complaints,” and that therefore I could also stop accepting other people’s complaints. But I also needed someone I could talk to and vent to;

3. He often rescheduled appointments and was not punctual. That wouldn’t have been a huge issue if it hadn’t been for the last “incident”: before the summer break (he never told me when it would end), he rescheduled my appointment several times, then asked me to meet within the next hour (it was 3 p.m. and I was supposed to see him at 4), and when I told him I couldn’t because I was working, he never replied to me again… and we never saw each other after that, because I didn’t know when the summer break ended and an anxiety cycle started that made me unable to contact him;

4. He explicitly told me what he thought I should do (he told me to move in with my boyfriend);
   When I explained my sexual orientation to him, he told me he thought labeling sexual orientations was absurd;

5. He tried to persuade me to join some kind of paid experiential group, which triggered an anxiety attack because I had to refuse (he apologized after I burst into tears).

I’m very confused. I feel guilty for ending therapy, but it also felt like I was throwing money away. I realized that I often censored myself so I wouldn’t look bad in front of him, wouldn’t upset or disappoint him, and also because I was afraid he might see me as “crazy,” for lack of a better term.

Did he behave poorly toward me, or was I the one in the wrong?