u/Calm_Comment9054

I have a black Janome HD 1000, and it's been pretty good for the projects I was working on at home. I got it brand new and I've owned it for just around two years.

But once I started my new job in a costumes department I was expected to bring my sewing machine in to work on stuff.

There are plenty of times I have to to sew like really thin ribbons on to skirts or jackets, but because my machine has no speed control they end up looking so janky. And because I can't control the speed I'm constantly breaking needles because I'm hitting pins at max speed.

The machine I was using in high school ( it was either from the 80's or 90's and I don't remember the model) was so much smoother and quieter, and even my cheap brother that couldn't sew two pieces of cotton to save it's life had better speed control.

How on earth do I fix this? This machine was expensive and I'm not really in a good financial space to just fully replace it. Is it a gear thing? A pedal thing?

I'm 99.99% it's angular cheilitis, or maybe it's just something really similar and I've just mis diagnosed it.

Also I'm sorry this is going to be so long, I just really need to vent about this. My cheilitis is gradually making me more and more depressed and I genuinely don't know how to fix it, so if anyone can help me I would be so so grateful.

Way back in November the corners of my mouth started cracking, I put vaseline on it thinking they were just a little dry and it would, but it got 10x worse. The cracks started to bleed and I couldn't open my mouth without them re-opening and bleeding and oozing everywhere. I genuinely thought it was a really bad cold sore, but no it was cheilitis.

I booked a doctors appointment, went to a pharmacist, they gave me some over the counter hydrocortisone cream. It started to go away and I was really happy, so when I went my G.P and told her what I had done to fix it, she was like yeah just use that for a few more days and you'll be fine.

Yeah and then a week later it fucking came back?? Thankfully it wasn't bleeding anymore, but it was still really dry and tight and it would only stop if I used aquaphor 5 times a day.

Then I guess it was manageable? Like it wasn't perfect but I was living with it and accepting it I guess. The tightness was manageable but as the months went on the corners of my mouth started to turn brown, sort of wrinkly, and flaky.

Then in April I had an AWFUL outbreak AGAIN, but this time it wasn't the corners of my mouth splitting but the browns spots. They just fucking decided to turn red and flake everywhere and it hurt like hell. It looked like I had the worst case or herpes known to man and I was so embarrassed I had to go to work looking like that.

I was smearing blistex and vaseline on my face for a week and it got better, but it turned back into the flaky brown splotches and now there was a nice red crack line in the corner of my mouth. It hasn't split...yet, but knowing my goddamn luck with this it probably will in the coming weeks.

I went to a dermatologist for a different issue but I brought up my cheilitis with him and how awful it was and how it was destroying my self image and he was like yeah it's fine just put vaseline on it 30 times a day and it'll go away.

Turns out my lips decided to stop making moisture when I started doing that, so now if I don't constantly have vaseline or aquaphor or blistex on, my lips shrivel up and crack, and now theres this super beautiful red patch on the left side of my bottom lip. And the chelitis is still there so that's just the cherry on top isn't it.

And now I'm crying myself to sleep at night because I can't get any real answers to help me get rid of this fucking thing. I've tried the special pharmacy creams, I've tried speaking to the medical professionals, I've tried the more creative solutions like washing your face with dandruff shampoo or something or other.

I once heard I just needed to drink more water, or I needed to take a few more vitamins. Well what if I am getting enough water, and how do I know what potential vitamin to take if I don't know what I might be deficient in??

Whenever I search how to get rid of this, I get 10,000 different answers, but everyone has different skin and I don't have a single clue to what my magical solution for this could be.

I need help. I'm physically so tired of dealing with this every single day. I'm so embarrassed of my weird looking mouth when I leave the house, and it's totally warped my smile because the brown spots turn into these deep indents. It's destroying how I see myself, it's destroying my social life, and I just need some advice.

Thank you for your time and help it is greatly appreciated.