u/CameraIllustrious

english is not my first language

As the title says I messed up. I never thought that I would be writing this in a reddit sub, but I have to get it out.

My GF(25) and I (M29) have been dating for 7 years. In that period of time we did have ups and downs and at the time I did not have very good communication skills to really describe my feelings with her. It was easier to go and talk to someone else or not say anything at all.

At the 3 year mark, i connected with someone I had met in a different time in my life and we started talking. Skipping a few back story, we had a thing for like 2 months. It started as just a sex thing, but quickly turned into a emotional connection. I was being super selfish, not even thinking about how this could affect my gf or our future at the time. At one point, I had to choose, be with this girl I reconnected with 2 months ago or stay with the relationship my gf and I have been building for more than 3 years.

So I chose selfish again. I "dropped" the quick fling and stayed. In the back of my head, I was waiting for a good moment to tell my gf what I did, but that moment never came. Because I bitched out. I was crashing inside asking why I did what I did, while my gf was trying her best.

Skipping to 2026, she found out what happened 4 years ago and now everything is upside down. I deeply regret doing this. I could say that I was young and blame it on that. But I was old enough to see the decision being made and I still took it.

So, I told her I will not make any excuses. I did what I did and whatever she choses to do, I am old enough to take responsibility for my actions.

And to think that now that we are in a great space, this happens. I would be extremely happy if she decides to stay, but on the other side not, becausue of how this thing will linger on her and the relationship for the rest of it.

So reddit, you can call me all type of names, but my main point is, is it best to take it on the chin and set it as part of life and go our separate ways? Because I do not want the people that already know to say things like, oh she stayed with a cheater and allows disrespect.

Whatever advice you have, I will gladly accept.