Am I wrong for asking my boyfriend why he didn’t tell me he went on a hike with his ex gf and their son?
My 26F boyfriend 25M has a son with his ex girlfriend. He and I have been together for a little over a year. Every two days he has off, he goes to spend the day with his son and then at night he and I do dinner or watch our show. During the week, we’ll talk on the phone for a bit and then he’ll go see his son
His ex girlfriend has been an issue for a while. She blows his phone up and argues with him over everything. She will deny him time with his son and once told him she would call the police if he showed up, so he didn’t. Then she called later in the day and saw that he was out with me and two of his friends, she got upset and asked him why he didn’t come see his son. I kind of think She still has feelings for him. I understand if she wanted her family back together. many mothers would. My mom, all of my friends, and a coworker of both of ours who is more a friend of him than me thinks this as well based on what my boyfriend has shared with him in terms of the arguing, what they argue about, how she acts
I have never had an issue with him spending time with his child. I’ve told him several times that I don’t mess with dead beats. My father was one and it fucked me up. If I knew my boyfriend was a deadbeat, he would have been removed from my life long ago
He will tell me when he is going to see his son or if his son’s mom will be bringing their son to his house. He usually is vague with what they do, but he will communicate it with me
Today, he posted on Instagram and it was a pic of him shirtless on a hiking trail with his son. My first thought was who took the pictures? My mom told me several times to never date a man with a child because even if the man no longer has feelings, you can’t do anything about the mother. She cannot be removed from the situation. She has brought up to him multiple times that he ended things with her and the way she crashes out on the phone makes me believe that there are feelings still there
My mom has also said there really isn’t any reason for them to do things as a family while he is in a relationship. He can do things on his own with his son and the mother can do things on her own. My mom said this is what she did with my little brother’s dad after they divorced. They didnot really things together with him out of respect for my brother’s dad’s new girlfriend and ultimately, wife
He didn’t tell me he was doing this and he did not text me all day. I do not want to believe anything is going on between the two of them, but I’m not dumb. I need to be realistic
I ended up asking him who took the photos and he said it was his son’s mom. I then told him that I didn’t know he was going to spend the entire day hiking with his ex. I thought he was spending the day with just his son like he said. He told me “I’m gonna go get (insert son’s name)” He left that part out until I asked and then he kept looking at me
He then told me that they had planned to do it early in the morning and he didn’t think it was a big deal. So I asked him if he would be okay if I had a child and went hiking with my child’s dad without telling him. He said nothing
This was after yesterday, he blew off our plans to hang with his friends. We haven’t been able to spend much time together because we’re on different shifts now. yesterday was the only day I got off at the same time as him. last week, we made plans to hang out on the day we were off at the same time. we were going to the pool, to dinner, and then I wanted to make casts of our hands. like us holding hands and make a cast of it. he invited his friends over and wasted my early day off. Then he goes on a hike with his ex and says nothing the next day