u/CanadianCoyote1

For context: A lot of my friends from last year are older than me, they've already graduated, and now they're back from first year of uni. I'm still in highschool. I don't think we're at the same point in our lives anymore and I think it puts rifts between us.

On top of this, this friend group (about 5 other people) includes my ex, and I have a feeling all my friends chose her over me. I've spoken to some of them about it, but there's underlying tension and I don't like it.

It just sucks because I was so close to them before, but time wouldn't let it be the same, and I don't know if I can handle it. Which sucks, because I don't really have as many close friends my age, but I'm worried about trying to resolve some of that tension. I can't imagine it must suck for some of my friends to be between that breakup of me and my ex.

The guy that was previously one of my best friends is one of the ones I feel the most tension with. He was always telling me to "let it go" whenever I'd try to confide in him about my ex and whatnot. I don't know, it feels like I'm putting in more effort than he is, or that he's withholding from me and it's driving me mad.

I've been extremely angry and irritable and aggressive lately, which hasn't been a major issue before Accutane. It's made me think gross thoughts and then leave me questioning whether it was me or the meds making me like this. I can't imagine it makes me very fun to be around, which just makes me more irritated. I've since stopped taking my medication (as I've reported this to my doctor, I see him again soon). But I just needed to vent that, I don't know if anyone's experienced a similar thing.

I’ll be living in res next year at UBC. I’m at a crossroads about rooming and dorm stuff.

The most ideal situation would be a joint-shared bathroom kind of room, but I’d have to get pretty lucky for that. Which brings up the fact that you would have a “same-sex/gender roommate”. I don’t think there would be too big an issue with that, as I’m sure theyre accommodating for queer folks. However this is a much more triggering qualm of mine: what if my roommate doesn’t pass well enough and it “exposes” me too. I just want to medically transition, be stealth, and never talk about it. If people (easily) connect the dots that my half-ass trans roommate and I are sharing same-sex rooms, then it outs me too, which I would really really like to avoid.

Then there’s the possibility of not having a shared bathroom and having to deal with male living space stuff, regardless of whether I do or don’t have a roommate.

I would like to have a roommate, mainly because I get lonely and I have siblings so I’m used to the whole pair-living stuff. Idk, I’m pretty stuck here.