u/CanaryProof7628

Hi!

I’m trying to move on; I gathered my courage and downloaded the dating apps again, now that I felt a little more comfortable with the idea of going out with someone, even if it was just to meet new people.

They’ve just made me feel worse; I keep thinking he’s the best, that he was perfect and far superior to all these people. Which hurts even more, because he’s the one who doesn’t want me, so maybe I’m not that great after all...

Plus, talking to these people and going out with them, thinking about getting involved with them, makes me feel extremely guilty. I can’t help but still feel tied to him, as if knowing this would hurt him.

Also, ever since I downloaded them, I’ve been consumed by thoughts of him being with other people, especially thoughts of him being with others right after he broke up with me, in the following month, maybe even people he already knew...

How do I stop having these sick thoughts? He broke up with me, obviously, in December, and we’ve been on no contact since February.

What are your experiences with this? Any advice? Reassurance? I just want him back; I don’t want to have to date anyone else.

Hi everyone. If you saw my previous post, I'm reposting because the first one was just too chaotic. I’d really appreciate some outside perspective because I feel stuck.

It’s been 5 months since my ex broke up with me, and about 3 months of complete no contact. He wanted us to stay friends after the breakup, but I couldn’t handle that emotionally, so I asked him to cut contact completely.

The breakup happened after 3 years together. He told me he didn’t have feelings for me anymore, and that he had already tried to work on those feelings but couldn’t change them. Hearing that completely shattered me, especially because I truly believed we would spend our lives together.

What makes this harder is that, from my perspective, the relationship wasn’t bad overall. Toward the end things were​ difficult, but I was also going through a serious personal crisis unrelated to the relationship, and I think that affected both of us more than I realized at the time.

For the first two months after the breakup, I kept trying to talk things through because I genuinely believed we could fix things with better communication and understanding. I couldn’t accept that someone who had always been there for me suddenly felt emotionally gone. One sentence he said still replays in my head constantly: “There’s nothing left between us romantically.” It hurt so much because only weeks before, we still cared deeply for each other.

Eventually I decided to go no contact because continuing to talk was destroying me emotionally.

But now, months later, I miss him more than ever. Every day I wonder whether I should reach out. Part of me hopes he’ll text first, but another part of me feels like if I want answers or another chance, maybe I should be brave enough to contact him myself.

I also carry a lot of guilt. Looking back, I feel like I was sometimes the less emotionally mature person in the relationship, especially during that difficult period. He was always patient, stable, and supportive, until eventually he couldn’t do it anymore — and I honestly didn’t fully notice how much he was suffering too.

I’ve already apologized once right after the breakup, but I don’t know if that even counts because emotions were still so raw. I still feel like, if we could calmly talk now, I’d genuinely be willing to listen, grow, and work together to build something healthier for both of us. Part of me still believes we may have lost the relationship during a rough phase rather than because the love was truly gone.

So I guess my question is:
Would reaching out after 3 months of no contact be a terrible idea? Should I wait longer and see if he contacts me first?

I still love him, and honestly, after all this time, I haven’t been able to move on.

Hi everyone. If you saw my previous post, I'm reposting because the first one was just too chaotic. I’d really appreciate some outside perspective because I feel stuck.

It’s been 5 months since my ex broke up with me, and about 3 months of complete no contact. He wanted us to stay friends after the breakup, but I couldn’t handle that emotionally, so I asked him to cut contact completely.

The breakup happened after 3 years together. He told me he didn’t have feelings for me anymore, and that he had already tried to work on those feelings but couldn’t change them. Hearing that completely shattered me, especially because I truly believed we would spend our lives together.

What makes this harder is that, from my perspective, the relationship wasn’t bad overall. Toward the end things were​ difficult, but I was also going through a serious personal crisis unrelated to the relationship, and I think that affected both of us more than I realized at the time.

For the first two months after the breakup, I kept trying to talk things through because I genuinely believed we could fix things with better communication and understanding. I couldn’t accept that someone who had always been there for me suddenly felt emotionally gone. One sentence he said still replays in my head constantly: “There’s nothing left between us romantically.” It hurt so much because only weeks before, we still cared deeply for each other.

Eventually I decided to go no contact because continuing to talk was destroying me emotionally.

But now, months later, I miss him more than ever. Every day I wonder whether I should reach out. Part of me hopes he’ll text first, but another part of me feels like if I want answers or another chance, maybe I should be brave enough to contact him myself.

I also carry a lot of guilt. Looking back, I feel like I was sometimes the less emotionally mature person in the relationship, especially during that difficult period. He was always patient, stable, and supportive, until eventually he couldn’t do it anymore — and I honestly didn’t fully notice how much he was suffering too.

I’ve already apologized once right after the breakup, but I don’t know if that even counts because emotions were still so raw. I still feel like, if we could calmly talk now, I’d genuinely be willing to listen, grow, and work together to build something healthier for both of us. Part of me still believes we may have lost the relationship during a rough phase rather than because the love was truly gone.

So I guess my question is: Would reaching out after 3 months of no contact be a terrible idea? Should I wait longer and see if he contacts me first?

I still love him, and honestly, after all this time, I haven’t been able to move on.

Hi everyone, sorry if this post is long and confusing. It’s been about 5 months since he broke up with me and about 3 months of no contact. He really wanted us to stay friends, but I wasn’t up for it, so I asked him to cut off all contact.

I miss him more than ever; I just wish he’d text me, and lately, with every passing day, I wonder if it would be okay to break the no-contact rule. I’m thinking about doing it more and more. He broke up with me by telling me he didn’t have feelings for me anymore, after three years, that he’d tried to do something about it, but hadn’t been able to. He completely broke my heart; I thought I’d spend my whole life with him, and our relationship seemed great to me, it had just been going badly lately mostly because of a personal crisis I was going through (I was struggling due to circumstances unrelated to the relationship).

For two months after his decision, I tried to talk to him because I thought all we needed was more communication to understand each other better; I couldn’t believe that the person who was always there and always ready to talk was gone. I still remember something he said to me back then: “There’s nothing left between us” (he meant romantically). It hurts so much. How can you say that when, just a few weeks earlier, we were together and cared deeply for each other? After those first two months I decided to go no contact.

Anyway, do you think it would be a terrible idea to contact him now? Should I wait a little longer and see if he reaches out first? Or should I just wait and see if, if it’s meant to happen, he’ll be the one to contact me?

Between the two of us, I feel like I was the “less mature” one at times, the one who weighed more heavily on the relationship, while he was simply perfect, flawless, he always did the right thing at the right time, until, during that difficult period, he couldn’t take it anymore, and I failed to notice his suffering...

I’d like to apologize, actually, I already have, but I don’t know how much that counts since I did it right after we broke up. And I’d really be willing to talk things through, listen to him, and do something together so that we’re both happy in the relationship, so that we have the best of it. I feel like it was really just a rough patch that got in the way, and by the time I realized it, it was too late for him...

What should I do? I love him; after all these months, I haven’t been able to move on, despite taking so much time for myself...

Hi everyone, sorry if this post is long and confusing. It’s been about 5 months since he broke up with me and about 3 months of no contact. He really wanted us to stay friends, but I wasn’t up for it, so I asked him to cut off all contact.

I miss him more than ever; I just wish he’d text me, and lately, with every passing day, I wonder if it would be okay to break the no-contact rule. I’m thinking about doing it more and more. He broke up with me by telling me he didn’t have feelings for me anymore, after three years, that he’d tried to do something about it, but hadn’t been able to. He completely broke my heart; I thought I’d spend my whole life with him, and our relationship seemed great to me, it had just been going badly lately mostly because of a personal crisis I was going through (I was struggling due to circumstances unrelated to the relationship).

For two months after his decision, I tried to talk to him because I thought all we needed was more communication to understand each other better; I couldn’t believe that the person who was always there and always ready to talk was gone. I still remember something he said to me back then: “There’s nothing left between us” (he meant romantically). It hurts so much. How can you say that when, just a few weeks earlier, we were together and cared deeply for each other? After those first two months I decided to go no contact.

Anyway, do you think it would be a terrible idea to contact him now? Should I wait a little longer and see if he reaches out first? Or should I just wait and see if, if it’s meant to happen, he’ll be the one to contact me?

Between the two of us, I feel like I was the “less mature” one at times, the one who weighed more heavily on the relationship, while he was simply perfect, flawless, he always did the right thing at the right time, until, during that difficult period, he couldn’t take it anymore, and I failed to notice his suffering...

I’d like to apologize, actually, I already have, but I don’t know how much that counts since I did it right after we broke up. And I’d really be willing to talk things through, listen to him, and do something together so that we’re both happy in the relationship, so that we have the best of it. I feel like it was really just a rough patch that got in the way, and by the time I realized it, it was too late for him...

What should I do? I love him; after all these months, I haven’t been able to move on, despite taking so much time for myself...