How do I pick up the pieces?
Hello, this is my first post here. A little background, I am 35, my mom passed away the day before my birthday this year back in June. She had called me 5 days prior and told me she had a stomach ache and asked if I could bring her to the ER. I brought her in, which turned into a very traumatic experience because she started to have miniature strokes, and could barely talk, the last words she managed to say were "I love you" which looking back is amazing to me and means the world. By that evening, she was non responsive, I was told she had blood on her brain and they wanted to stabilize her over night so I should go home and come back the next day. I went home for the night and came back the next day thinking there might be a positive update, but when I spoke to the doctors they told me she had heavy bleeding around the Thalamus, and she would never wake up or speak again. She had named me the medical power of attorney, so I ultimately had to make the decision to pull her off of life support and let her go. I am an only child, and my parents divorced when I was 2 years old, so really it was just her and I until I got married and moved out. She had no will, no funeral planned, no executor named, nothing. I have spent the past few months doing what I think she would have wanted as far as memorial services, burial, etc is concerned and going through the probate process with the courts. I have been doing all of this, while still being the sole provider for my wife, 2 kids, and my mother in law who is in poor health that lives with us. I am doing my best to hold myself together, but I still have random episodes of grief, crying, etc. I am really just wondering if it ever gets easier, and if I am doing right by her. I am struggling with getting her house cleaned and going through all of her old things. I at least have the letters of Administration now from the state and an estate account set up and have been paying all of the necessary bills for her house. I am also working on getting the probate deed filed as well as getting her vehicle transfered into my name. I have not used an attorney for any of this either, I am doing it all by myself. I am struggling with picking up all of the pieces after all of this, I do not know what to do next, and I wish she was still here every day. I just keep thinking I need to stay strong for my wife and kids, but I almost feel lost without having my mom around. I used to call her for advice or just to vent, now I just keep it all bottled up inside.