u/Capital-Steak-1145

We live in a rent space with 2 pther roomates and a landlady that doesn't care for the house. I am 29F and she is 25F .She is dating him for about 2 months and he spends 90% of his free time here. He is She even lets him be alone in the house.

I live here for 3 years and half and she lives here for 1 year and half.

When i arrived here the rules were simple : respect others. Clean after yourself. Don't make noise from x hour to x hour. (A respected house with people that respected eachother). As people went and came those were the rules that were to follow. She arrived and she did as such. And we got along well enough to hang out once or twice (we stopped for other reasons unrelated to the post). We even made other house rules such has if you have a visit let others know.

Ever since she is dating him all those rules seem to not exist and she is practicly living with him here disregarding everything we ever spoke about. She doesn't say when he comes over. Doesn't clean after herself and is often leaving the stove ocupied or the sink. She is letting him stay more than overnight. One time she let him here the entire day alone. And to top it all off she actually thinks i want to sleep with him. If i know he is here i will wear the baggiest clothes so that's a huge sign i want him bad right??/S.

I told the landlady today but i am sure she will just say some bs and move on with her day.

Me leaving is not an option due to finances.

What would u do?

É isso. É essa a questão. Muito obrigada

I am 29F and live with 3 other roomates. We all have partners. We all say when we have visits at home just so we aren't caught by surprise by a stranger at the house. We also have a rule to not let our partners stay longer than 4 consecutive days due to bill increase and so that everyone can be confortable wearing what they want (i.e. short shorts and no bras) without the fear of a man appearing.

Recently one roomate, lets call her roxxane (25F), started dating and has her bf her almost everyday. There was a week where he didn't even left. Came to a point where i had to ask her if he had move here due to the huge increase of visits. She said no and apologized for the increase amount of visits and that she would keep it under control.

We all had a conversation in the kitchen this thursday to organize ourselves and discuss the house things and the subject of visitors and she told me she tested me. She said that she noticed that everytime he comes over i go to the common area , the kitchen, where they both are to grab something and that if i am so uncomfortable why do i even leave my room. And how one time i even spoke with him (with her there and it was a cheeky joke he wasn't even a fan of) Which tbh yes i do but then again it's my home and i won't stop grabbing water or snacks just cause she has a visit and that visit is a man. I asked her if i am not suppouse to grab things from the fridge or speak with visitors. To which she told me "not if it makes you so uncomfortable and you shouldn't talk with my man. I don't speak with yours!". I told her that i am not a fan of her tests and for her not to do it again and that i didn't knew what she was trying to insinuate but i wasn't the biggest fan of it and left it at that as not to feed the argument.

I have been feeling the biggest ick regarding her ever since. She knows me for a year and a half now, she knows i like larger men , i am a big girl myself and never EVER wore something suggestive around her bf. In fact i wear my own xl shirts and extra baggy pijama pants. If there's a small chance he is here alone i text her when i am going to shower and when i am back in my room just in case he wants to use the bathroom or leave her room. I leave them be in the kitchen alone as i literally only go there to grab food and water (a less than 2 minut thing). I never gave her the impression i even thought of him as an attractive man. I never told her not to speak with my bf. In fact she can. My bf is a grown ass man that i trust and i never stopped her from interacting with him.

This came out of nowhere as she never told me not to speak with him and that me being near him was something that bothered her. I knew she was manipulative and possessive but never knew it was to this extent... with this test she decided to do she killed every once of respect and trust i had for her. She offered me food before the convo that i accepted and since then i threw it away. She wants me to kill bugs? Nope. Never again. She wants to vent to me? Never again. She wants to make small talk? I am busy forever. I will forever not know what is a test and isn't. Even writting this i feel nauseaus.