u/Capital_Young_7114

This is kind of more related to my narc father, but he’s part of the fucked up system. My sister had a pretty serious medical scare in the last week—cesarean scar ectopic pregnancy and probable hysterectomy. The doctors ended up being able to save her uterus, but obviously not the pregnancy. Anyway, my narc enabler father started a group chat with like ten other people including my aunts and uncles to disclose all of the updates and medical information. It triggered me so much and I realized why. Even though it didn’t violate my boundaries, it reminded me of all the times my boundaries were violated. I was reacting to that trauma. My sister and her husband probably won’t even notice how inappropriate that is (I’m not even sure if they know?), but I just keep thinking—dad, did you even ask them who and what they wanted to tell? Part of me is saying maybe I’m overreacting, he just wanted support for them, but also…it’s extremely personal. If it were me, I’d be pissed. I guess that’s why I have my parents on an info diet. Can anyone relate?

My sister found out recently she has a CSEP and needs a hysterectomy. I am devastated for her. I want to send her a care package with some helpful things not just “fluff”. What should I include? Any other advice about support that you maybe wish you had? She has two young children. TIA for any advice.

I have two daughters (4 and 1). The first was a slightly rough sleeper, but after about 18 months things smoothed out. The second: an actual hellscape shit show dumpster fire nightmare of a sleeper. I mean, this is the stuff that horror movies are made of. The impact this has had on me and also my family has been enough to make my partner say “fuck no” to another baby. I am almost there, but I just really feel so much grief over making that decision, especially right now when we are in the pits of hell. I know this isn’t forever, even though I truly don’t know how I’d do this again. My question is, if you had a terrible sleeper, did it deter you from having or wanting another? Did you ever change your mind once you came out of it? And was your next baby, if you had one, a better or worse sleeper (I know there’s no way to predict this)?

ETA: this is our primary reason for not having another baby.