It’s not your problem. I hate that she thinks you care. I hate that she reaches out for you to be the man missing in our lives. You aren’t that man you will never be what we need. I’ll have a talk with her about this soon. It won’t happen again. Sorry again for her contacting you.
For so long now you’ve been everything I wanted and needed. First thing on my mind when I wake up and last thing on my mind before bed. You were my world. Living rent free in my head all day, for years this is how I have been living. With you always with me. Carrying you around like a purse. This past week it’s become less and less of a problem. Maybe it’s because I met someone or maybe it was just time to let you go. I have been holding on so tight to you for almost 9 years I refused to allow myself to be happy without you. I use to say “ if it’s not you it’s nobody “. I knew exactly what I wanted and nothing was going to change that. Until I realized you didn’t care if I was in your life or not. You had no problem losing me. Then why was I holding on so tight for? Why was I stopping myself from be happy waiting for someone who easily removed me and replaced me. So I let myself go on a date and have some fun. I wasn’t going to allow you to take anymore of my love or time. You were my goal the thing I thought I couldn’t live without. Turns out I can live without you and probably a much better happier life with people who actually care and value me. I don’t think I could ever go back to being your “ friend “. My brain has room now for a new connection a new love and most importantly new experiences. Thank you for leaving me best thing you could have done for me.
You left. I can’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do. Just know I don’t need to touch you to love you. You dont have to be mine for you to be special to me. I can love you from anywhere and I do. I carry you with me in everything I do. And if you feel like me not being part of your life is what’s best, then I will just have to love you from afar. I won’t disrupt your peace or put myself somewhere I’m not wanted. You see my love for you is not transactional I don’t need you to return the love. It’s unconditional I won’t just stop loving you because you aren’t doing what I want you too. My love is not a light switch my love for you is like a vein deep with in me intertwined with my inner workings. They are essential and keep me alive just like my love for you. You are and will always be part of me weather here or there near or far.
Just pull up already. Let talk with our bodies.