u/Careless_Hold7297

I’ve never told anyone the full truth about this because I always play it off like I just “got through a rough phase,” but there was a time when I was really not okay mentally and I hid it from my closest friends. They started noticing something was off and kept checking on me, but I kept saying I was just tired or busy because I did not want to be a burden or explain what I was really feeling. Over time, I got really good at acting normal around them, even when I was falling apart when I was alone.

Eventually they stopped asking as much, and I told myself that meant I was getting better, but I was actually just more alone with it. I still act like that period of my life was just a small struggle I overcame, but the truth is I never really told anyone what was actually going on, and sometimes I wonder if things would have been different if I had just been honest instead of pretending everything was fine.

I (28F) have been best friends with Carla (28F) since we were fourteen. We went to different universities but stayed close, did the long distance friendship thing, visited each other, texted constantly. When we both ended up back in the same city in our mid-twenties it felt like the universe course correcting. We fell back into step immediately. Weekly dinners, shared playlists, the kind of friendship where you do not have to explain context because they already have it.

Carla got engaged about six weeks ago. I found out the same way most people did, through an Instagram post. A photo of her hand, her fiance Jake, a caption about being the happiest she had ever been. I screenshotted it and sent her a voice note that was probably embarrassingly emotional. She replied with heart emojis and said we needed to celebrate.

That was fine. I understood she had posted publicly before calling everyone individually. That happens. I was not upset about finding out through Instagram.

What I found out later was what bothered me.

About a week after the engagement Carla had a small celebration dinner. Not a formal engagement party, just a dinner at a nice restaurant with, according to her own later description, her closest people. I only found out it happened because another friend, Bea, mentioned it in passing and assumed I had been there. When I said I had not Bea went quiet in that specific way that told me she immediately regretted bringing it up.

I did not say anything to Carla right away. I spent a few days convincing myself there was a reasonable explanation. Maybe it was a last minute thing. Maybe it was just family. Maybe there was a guest limit.

Then I saw the photos on Bea's Instagram. It was not tiny. There were at least twelve people there, a mix of friends and family, a decorated table, champagne, the whole thing. People I knew from Carla's wider circle who I would not describe as especially close to her.

I brought it up gently over text, just said I had heard about the dinner and asked if everything was okay between us. Carla apologized and said she had meant to invite me but the planning happened quickly and she genuinely forgot. She said she felt terrible. She suggested we do our own celebration, just the two of us, to make up for it.

I said that sounded nice. But I have been sitting with it since and I cannot fully shake it. We have been friends for fourteen years. She forgot me on the guest list for her engagement dinner but remembered people she has known for two or three years. I am not trying to make her engagement about me. I know it is her moment and not everything is about me.

But I also know that if the situation were reversed I would have called her before I called anyone else.

AIO?