Toru has worn this shirt a few times, it had sleeves before but those where cut off. This is a picture from the amsterdam show last year (20 oct 2025).
Can sombody help me find the brand/artist or anything, I’ve been searching for an awnser for a while.
Me (F24) and partner (NB22) lets call them Ari, we have been together for two years. I am monogamous and when we started dating I wanted to discover if polyamory was something for me as this was the relationship dynamic Ari was previously in and wanted to continue. Ari was dating someone else but that has ended half a year in.
Ari has had dates and has expressed feelings and interest in other people and has had different qpr’s and intimacy like teo/three times (I think) in the past two years.
Now I have had discovered that poly is not something I want, not now and not for the foreseeable future. An open relationship is. In the form where sexual intimacy is okay as long at its not romantic or going towards another release relationship.
As my partner has brought up their growing desire to be sexual with others, I have stated that in order for me to feel secure in that dynamic I want romantic exclusivity. Aka an open relationship.
And I have expressed this is something I want for myself too long term.
My partner is now deciding if thats what they want, while I have been figuring out if poly is something for me for the past 2 years my partner has been patient and has tried to minimalize the presure on me while doong that . while I appreciate this, it has also lead us to move in circles and ended us here two years later with either us still not sure what we want.
This conversation was a little over a month ago, as Ari has been thinking about it.
Bc it has been a while back I brought up the conversation again as I was curious where they where at. This ended in a discussion as Ari feels pressure and feels its unfair as they have been patient with me for the past two years. Its not like I’ll put it in the agenda ‘by july 7th I need an answer’ but at the same time I dont want to go on like we normally do, anxious of when they decide what they want and either break up or stay together.
Is there like a warrant amount of time for them to know what they want? Is it fair to tell them I want to have an answer in say like two months or before this or that event.
Ari wants to make a well thought out decision and they are prone to be impulsive and this has hurt me in the past.
I want them to think it trough but I also think that them taking a long time just means they are prolonging the break up.
I also dont know if it’s fair to say that if they dont know after a month they might already know that an open relationship is not what they want but dont want to lose our relationship.
And as cliche as it sounds I do want them to chose me instead of them not wanting to lose me.
How would you go about this? How would you feel in either our places? And how can we go about this as its fair to both of us?