u/Cascascas185

Basically. The title. What has your experience been. Do people believe you as someone who missed out on a diagnosis?? Most likely a high masker. What of your child’s experience has reminded you of either moments of your own childhood or things your parents or peers have said about you as a child.

Personally, both of my boy/girl fraternal twin children (which means they don’t share 100% of their genes they are the same as siblings) are going through diagnosis process and already in ST & OT waiting to start ABA. Likely level 1/2. I have previously been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, depression. However… the more I read… the more I research… the more I’m like this is me. Both my parents are dead unfortunately, but I am recalling these stories that are making me go, huh. I am veryyyy social… I do like interacting. I go deep quickly with people. Until I absolutely am not social but people don’t see that side because I am alone lol. I even will just excuse myself to the bathroom during social gathering to give my brain a break, can feel like it’s overheating at times. I do great when there is alcohol! I require and always have what I referred to as “down time” in which I will not answer a call or text or a knock at the door. I need my shut off time where absolutely no one fucking talking to me or asks anything of me. So no one’s believing me (only told some very very close to me) I can’t talk to my parents about it. And I’m frustrated because when I’m talking about my kids I’ll slip it in there that I am seeing a lot of my own traits in this journey and they just say no you aren’t and I’m like, I’m not asking for your permission. Learning that NT people don’t need to check in with themselves to make sure they are looking like they are listening while someone else is talking, am I nodding enough… okay now warm smile. lol. Like when you explain to someone they are like you don’t do that. Haha how would you know. I’m good at what I do, it’s by design. I don’t care to get diagnosed or anything but I do feel like it took me a really long time to figure out life and really could have used the tools, rather than being “self taught” how not to have meltdowns.
Anyway! Your experience?! Anyone same boat?

So we are new, I have 2 yo twins diagnosed level 1… I guess… we had a really weird eval appt. The child psychiatrist only talked to my kids for like 5 mins. We are actually get re-evaluated not cause im denying it but I left with more questions than answers. Their speech therapist sees autism in them as well. Where I’m confused - I don’t know what to do about school, I already had them signed up for a summer preschool that now I’m getting nervous about sending them to it… worried they will struggle. they actually do really really well with other kids. They like being involved, make great eye contact and don’t have big tantrums (just kinda expected tantrums when tired or just being a 2 yo) my daughter has a verbal stem. Sometimes it’s very loud but comes and goes. Both kids are speech delayed but understand a good amount and can follow directions. Gestal language processors but they understand quite a bit of what they say. They are very loving and very joyful. Really it’s just a lot of subtle but also obvious communication differences also the “lack of richness” in their interactions (verbiage from OT) I’m so confused on what to do. I have no help and no one really to talk to. So parents in a similar situation, what did you do about school?? What were the struggles??

And Also has anyone been diagnosed as an adult after getting their kids evaluated?? The more I read the more it makes sense to me. Like putting on a pair of glasses. But it’s also confusing. I didn’t have support growing up but I did have struggles with learning, couldnt read until 3rd grade, still struggle with reading, getting bullied, masking traits, kinda a lot of stims, intense social burnout, I was hyper verbal from a very young age though. Never did well in school but I research constantly and honestly am more successful than a lot of people I know with their masters. I also was diagnosed with OCD a few years ago… after the twins were born. I also am POSITIVE my dad was undiagnosed autism… more classically equivalent to “Asperger” highly intelligent guy. But I still really love being social.. so did my dad but definitely a very awkward guy. I also have a nephew who is level 2 but I don’t think many people would be able to tell. There is a lot of ND on my paternal side frankly. My head feels so busy and I’m so overwhelmed by the lack of control and unpredictable outcome of it all! I’m sorry I am NOT asking am I autistic? Despite imposter syndrome this does feel like it fits. What I am asking I guess is has anyone else gone through this identity crisis or awaking after getting their kids evaluated?? Did you get diagnosed? Was there any benefit to that as an adult?

Please be kind if I offend someone with anything I said I’m sorry, I am searching for anything to help make sense of the million questions in my head. Thanks