u/Cassidyluver

Idk if it’s like this for anyone else but I cannot stand the taste or smell of semen, mostly bc my ex always forced me to swallow, he’d force a lot of stuff on me he’s a horrible person.
Now my bf is like mad bc I don’t swallow nor do I like the smell if I’m not aroused. He’s like “it’s unfair I wish I got to you first” like how I feel ruins our sex life.
It just hurts bc it makes me feel all broken and used..like he ruined our sex life

Yeah yesterday he let me jerk him off and we had some issues, he told me I was doing it wrong and helped me adjust, eventually he finished. I cleaned him off with a blanket and told him that I was okay I just wasn’t very fond of the smell of semen. He got kind of upset and told me that I said I liked it before(I don’t recall this??), so I told him I probably said it when I was extremely aroused bc I also didn’t get anything in return we just parted ways bc of strict timing.
Then we got into talking about pleasuring me and I explained the difficulties behind it and such.

Anyways he texted me saying “yesterday made me lwk want to chop it off” “half joking” ???what do I even say to this. Keep in mind I’ve had such a bad week I just need to know what I can say to repair this.. I’m on bad terms with everyone and I don’t want to be on bad terms what him

Hi..again, not even a few days later. We’ve been kind of at each others necks, not in the bad way just we complain about something and hug it out after. This time some guy threatened me in line for no reason, just saying he was gonna punch me if I didn’t move, I was pissed and quiet at lunch because of it. He eventually pulled why I was upset out of me, got upset and started giving me ways of reporting him or tracking him down, but I told him I just want to cool off from it, and I didn’t want to.

Later I told him I just wanted him to listen more instead of looking for answers and just put his head down and sulked. Then texted me “I love you but I wish you didn’t stress me out so much.”

Idk like now I feel avoidant of telling him things.

Just to clarify he wasn’t exactly my bully, he was just around the people that treated me like absolute shit, but I hadn’t really heard much from him when it came to that, he just tells me he remembers it happening, not if he was apart of it.
Long story short he left that friend group because apparently they also treated him like shit those past years but he sympathizes with them a lot. Now he goes on to tell me how much of a bad and miserable person he was and he’s glad I didn’t date him back then.

I mean should I even date him at all? He’s an amazing boyfriend and has changed a lot from what I’ve observed it’s just hard for me to forgive people, but the thing is idk if he did or said anything bad about me.
I love him a lot and I know I sound dumb posting this, but I genuinely need someone to talk to in replies because I can’t grasp my head around this

(Also I was bullied a lot even by my friends today in 9th grade. When this all happened. I’m so conflicted with everyone rn but we’re all juniors)