What to do when I need an adrenaline rush instead of sh
I (20F) have constant and long urges of an adrenaline rush. I usually just SH and drink or smoke because I don’t know how else to deal with what I’m feeling. I’m in a relationship and I feel like I need to feel excited all the time about something. Don’t get me wrong, I like my boyfriend a lot and I enjoy every second I spend with him. It’s just that I’ve always struggled with s*ic*dal thoughts and SH and I was fine until a few weeks ago I started to SH again. I just feel like i need to experience something to make me feel alright, like im alive. I don’t know what else to do to deal with what goes inside my head. I’ve thought about having sex with my boyfriend just so I can get that adrenaline rush I’m looking for but I’m not sure since my first time happened (with an ex) because I felt numb and wanted to feel something. Please if anyone has any advice on what can I do. I also struggle with horrible mood swings and anxiety and I just want to be okay.