Big puppy blues
Something between a rant and a cry for help lol
We got FenFen almost 3 months ago. He's a sweet little guy and he probably had some rough experiences in his life before coming home with us.
These days all my life revolves around him and there's just no time for myself ever. I can deal with not having time for me, kinda sorta. But this guy can be so extra sometimes 😭 we have a pretty consistent routine, and I can recognize when we're going to have a rough day or a good day, but they all end with him getting mouthy over the evening and complaining when it's bedtime.
I have done a lot of crying and reflecting, and god, I miss having freedom to sleep whenever I needed, I miss being free to make noise or chat or laugh at night when we go to bed (my partner and I enjoyed chatting while sharing cuddles or memes), we can't make noise at night because he gets FOMO from being put to sleep in the crate, but due to our living situation and space available, it's unsafe for the cat and us to let him roam at night. He slept happily in his crate (in our bedroom, 2 feet away from our bed) for over 2 months and now he gets pissed at us when we ALL go to sleep. He complains and pushes for 15-20 minutes after being put in there, and eventually accepts it's sleep time. I always make sure he's gone potty before bed. I know not to talk or try to soothe him with words if he's actively barking. It's not bad every night, but god it's exhausting (he can't sleep in bed with us, he goes berserk the moment his paws touch the mattress and needs a lot of work still to start seeing it as a place to rest, not play).
I miss being able to go out and not worry the teenaged dog is gonna freak out or hurt himself one day, or deciding to just have a relaxing night with my partner without constantly needing to play referee between our older girl and Fen. Yuuki, the older husky, doesn't want to play with him anymore because he gets too rough, and she is too polite to correct him. She constantly tries to show with her body language she means well and doesn't want trouble, and it just never seems to get across for him. She's also much older than him, 11 years old in November, while Fen the shelter guesstimated he was 2 or 3, but our vet said nope, he's most likely just over a year old, so around 15 months old now. I was not mentally ready for a teenaged velociraptor-shark-alligator.
I logically KNOW it won't be this way forever but I'm so exhausted.
We're working so hard, he's making progress, we train, we walk, we give him love and treats.
Is it unfair to him to want to ask my vet for meds that might help calm him down a little? His baseline arousal is so high, crazy prey drive too, and sometimes, when he's overstimulated he just can't listen at all. I honestly have no trouble managing him during daytime, but at night he really can become a menace.
I love this dog. He's a big fluffy goofball full of energy, and in the past months he's also grown so much in size and weight (legit like 10lbs over what he was when we adopted him, when he was underweight). I love him, but his physical strength is crazy and has consistently hurt us without meaning to almost every day.
I don't know... I guess I'm just looking for encouragement here, I'm just so tired...
