u/Catssojourn

Hello r/trans ,

I consider myself transfem, but I don't have really have a concrete identity. Just address me by my username or broadly as a person (e.g., they/them). Now onto to my question/topic:

I want to leave dating apps behind, and move away from them, but I'm struggling on how I'll meet people who'll want me sexually within a safe context.

Personally, I only use apps for hook ups. I don't use them for finding love. One reason I want to move away from them is due to the nasty behavior they bring out of me. I often block guys I find ugly, even if they're kind. Also, instead of simply saying, "no thank you, I'm not interested", I'll just block them. I feel dating apps make me a crueler/shallower person, and I want to move away from this behavior - it's a goal of mine to become kinder, and I don't want to contribute to the pain in the world that comes from modern dating.

Yet, I'm lost on how I'll hook up safely apart from them. I don't drink or party. They're out of the question. I have considered attending pride events, though it'd be novel for me, as I'm not used to being in girl mode in a non-sexual setting (I boy mode nearly all day, and girl mode for sex).

Aside from pride events, where else should I go to find people who'd be into transfem individuals? If you have certain websites in mind, I'm open minded. For in person locations, I'm open minded as well. I'm mostly looking for broad suggestions rather than specific locations, but if it helps, I'm within the the Los Angeles area, and the cities that are connected to it (obviously, it's not safe to pinpoint my exact location).

Hopefully, my post doesn't come across the wrong way. Sadly, I'm often downvoted, leading me to remove my posts from disappointment, so if you have any tips for how I ought to communicate to people on Reddit, let me know, as I'm awful at interacting with others on Reddit - though I won't give up.

Hello r/Quakers ,

What would you say has made you a more genuinely loving person? For example, what has enabled you to wake up more so with love than irritation, or able to look at others with love vs. indifference or repulsion?

I've been fascinated with love as it's an emotion/state of being that I've always struggled with. While I've read philosophy dealing with love, I feel at best, it shows me the nature of how love could move through me vs. actually making me a better person (e.g., Simone Weil on attention / Emmaneul Levias on the demands of the face).

I'm starting to believe that my efforts don't do much, given that what has made me more loving in my life has often boiled down to either being so overwhelmed by the evil I see/experience, and being forcibly changed by it (e.g., the state of the U.S.), or being incredibly humbled such that my old self perishes (e.g., being bullied as child, and learning empathy for others).

Hello r/Quakers,

EDIT: After reading many of the replies, it appears the consensus is that I shouldn't share any of the ministries I have recorded, given how ministry is meant for said group and not for the public. Unless someone gives me a good reason otherwise, I won't share what I've recorded.

Since attending my first meeting last year, and eventually settling with the daily Pendle Hill meetings, I've been writing down the ministries I've given, and the ones I've heard from others - and part of me wants to begin sharing them.

Why? Before attending my first Quaker meeting, I felt what many of you would call a strong leading to write down all the ministries given and received. However, I'm lost on how on I should share them.

For sure, I won't share the names of those who gave ministry (including myself) - I want the ministries to stand on their own, but I feel that it's important that I share some of these ministries, so others may benefit from them.

For this reason, I wanted to ask if it was possible to attend a clearness committee by a Quaker meeting of some sort online, without being a member? Is this even possible, or must I be a member?

Likewise, if any of you have advice on how I ought to share them, I would appreciate it.