u/Cautious_Owl_9686

I ‘30F’ am struggling with how to help my medically fragile Grandfather. For background, in March of this year my grandfather ‘84M’ suffered a kidney episode that we thought would end up taking his life. At the start of that episode my grandmother ‘83F’ delayed his care by 3 days before taking him to the hospital and afterwards was frequently verbally abusive. She would say things like he was lazy when bed ridden and “faking it” when he could barley stay awake and was in pain. I personally witnessed her say these things and worse while severally intoxicated which I recorded. In May he fell and broke his hip, she delayed his care by two days before taking him to the hospital because according to her it “wasn’t that bad and he said he was fine” he couldn’t walk and ended up needing surgery to have his hip replaced …

The last straw for me was 2 weeks ago. On a whim she decided she wanted to travel from Alabama to Kansas to visit family. Instead of flying by herself, She made my grandfather drive them both, no thought to the fact he hasn’t driven anywhere in 7 months let alone cross country. Needless to say it was not a smart idea and my grandfather had a stroke. She delayed his care by 4 hours instead of taking him to the hospital or calling 911. He is currently in the hospital undergoing physical therapy and will likely be there for another month, so he is safe at this time. But she thinks he’s going to magically get better. He has feeling in his left side but is a long why to go before he can even do something like walk on his own, and to be honest it is unlikely that will happen. He’ll likely be in a wheelchair or have a walker of some kind. At this point with all that’s happened I’m convinced she is a threat to his health and whether consciously or subconsciously wants him dead. My mom is trying to help dictate his medical care as much as possible but I’m not sure how much that will help. I don’t know what to do, I’m heartbroken and so so angry.