u/CelebrationWide8107

A few weeks into my breakup, I asked for my things. It was back and forth because I just wanted to pick up my stuff (respect NC), and he wanted me to pick up my stuff and then have a conversation. Eventually, the day came, and he texted me that he wasn't able to have the conversation anymore because he was really struggling. But he left my things outside his front door for me to pick up. When I got my things, I noticed one thing on the list was missing, but I didn't really care. The other odd thing he put in the box was a pair of new earrings that his mom custom-made for me (it was a gift)... I get why he wouldn't keep them, but it def made me more emotional.

Anyways,

It's been about 4 weeks now, and I'm starting to realize more and more things that I left at his house. Some things are actually expensive clothing or gifts my mother got me. I'm not dying to get them back, but part of me is also super annoyed that I'm so scared to text him and be like, " Hey, you still have xyz of my things. I keep telling myself to just wait, and maybe ask in a few months, but that feels silly, and then I get nervous to text him now because I don't want to be left on read again.

I have a few questions:

During NC, do you delete any social media photos? I’m considering archiving some, rearranging others, or deleting a few. I already removed the most recent because it was a big birthday post for him.

Also, he reached out to me yesterday to wish me a happy birthday and to say that he appreciates me and cares, even though things have changed. He sent that message after five weeks of NC. I just liked the message—that’s it. I know he was just being kind, and I know he doesn’t want the responsibility of a relationship.

He’s the one who broke up with me due to his mental health—he’s under a lot of stress, unhappy with himself, and said his head feels scrambled. (The third week, I broke NC to get my things)My ex told me he's struggling with his mental health more due to the breakup. He told me he's scared of this deep love we have... and now that he's ended things, the breakup has been extremely difficult for him, but he doesn't regret ending things.

I think NC right now is really important for both of us, but I hope that one day, after we’ve both had time to heal, I can reach out to him.

I’m already learning so much about myself, and I want to keep growing. Space really does allow you to reflect on the good and bad... what you can improve on or continue doing. etc. I'm also joining therapy, something my family always made fun of, but I would really like to discover more about myself and how to heal.

His dad’s death anniversary is coming up next month. Do you think it would be a good idea to gently reach out? Not to reconnect, but just to say, “I know today can be a heavy day. I just wanted to acknowledge it and hope you’re doing okay.”