u/Certain_Opposite6504

So this girl lets call her Harper is one of my boyfriend’s mates girlfriend. we’ll call my boyfriend JJ and hers Charlie.
I could be delusional I hope I am but I cant talk to anyone about it before I know Im not imagining things.

So a few times Ive noticed I’ll say something like “JJ got me flowers yesterday” or “JJ took me out for dinner” and she’ll say something like “oh he’s great you actually just dont deserve someone like him” or “I wish he was my boyfriend Charlie doesnt do all that for me” its not that Charlie doesnt want to he just cant afford all the stuff she wants.

One time we went out like last week and JJ got realllly drunk because his mates just kept going up for shots but anyway he came over to me and was stumbling a bit but when I went to try grab his arms to stabilise him guess who jumped in to save the day she literally stopped mid conversation with HER boyfriend to try and stabilise MY boyfriend which I was literally about to do if I was given half a second more like I had one hand on his arm before she practically pushed me out of the way. He tried backing away from her but she wasnt having it and basically backed him into another table.

She brings him up more than I do. Also later that night I got some food and water into him he had sobered up enough but she only got drunker and drunker and on the walk home was stumbling but really over selling it and instead of accepting the help from Charlie she was practically falling onto JJ he had to catch her like 5 times all while Charlie is saying hell give her his shoes and help her walk she was refusing and would “accidentally” fall and grab JJs arm. She was walking in between me and JJ purposely trying to take his attention off me and onto her.

What do i do? do i even do anything? am i imagining it?

I really need advice. I havent spoken to or even about my oldest brother in 4 years and he texted me saying “hey its ______ is this _______ i got your number from ______ i just want to talk i feel bad about why we lost contact” we have the same dad but different mums he got my number from one of my dads brothers who i hate.

the reason we lost contact and why he isnt even acknowledged by my family anymore is we would fight all the time he would fight with me my mum our dad and my other siblings but one day when my dad was at work he lost his shit he hit me (i was 16 he was 28) hit my mum my little brother (who was 14) and tried to hit who i call my oldest brother because ive mentally disowned him but got his ass handed to him.

he would always pick fights with me and say stuff like “i used to be dads favourite until you came along you little bitch” and he was always the worst with me so i think thats why he reached out to me that or he thinks im the easiest to walk all over which its probably that option.

i tried to ignore him but a few hours ago he spammed my phone with messages apparently he was an addict then and is trying to do better and stay sober because he has a daughter now and wants to do right by her (couldnt even do right by his siblings but whatever). i dont know if i can give him another chance like im literally sat awake at nearly 5am because this is bringing back some shit that happened with him that i would rather forget.

i considered not telling anyone but i dont know if i can in good conscience because not telling my dad he has another granddaughter is cruel but also it would mean hes back in my life because my dad would not be able to ignore the fact he has a granddaughter so he would be around and i don’t know if i want that to happen. this feels selfish but he literally terrorised me any time no one else was around i dont know if i can face him.

i actually cant do another night of them its been 3 years and theres no sign of them stopping even right now its 5:40am and ive slept about an hour because i had a nightmare and am now scared to go back asleep. do they ever stop?